


A New Drug

by GDB123



Category: Gerard Way and the Hormones, My Chemical Romance, frnkiero andthe cellabration
Genre: Drugs Made Them Do It, Forced Crossdressing, Frerard, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-23
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-08-10 12:43:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 50,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7845433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GDB123/pseuds/GDB123
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gerard has a problem, and Mikey takes the money he uses for said problem, to pay for the rent.<br/>Gerard is desperate to get his next fix, and he'll go to desperate measures to get it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Possible Triggers: Drugs, lack of consent (he consents but you might not like why)

"Where the fuck is it?!" Gerard muttered to himself, his hand desperately searching in between his mattresses for his hidden cash. "Fuck!"

In a fit of rage and desperation, he flipped his mattress onto the floor, his eyes searching the empty space angrily.

It wasn't there, his money was fucking gone, the money he desperately needed.

"Mikey!" He practically screamed, flinging his bedroom door open so hard it banged against the wall, stomping loudly into the living room. "Where the fuck is it?" He snarled, clenching his fists as he eyed his little brother on the couch.

"It's gone, Gerard." He sighed, not even fazed by his brothers anger. "You haven't paid your share of the rent in three months, I needed it."

"I have the rent money!" Gerard exclaimed, lying through his teeth. "But that was for something else, I need it back, right now."

"If you have the rent money, you can just replace the money I took with it."

Gerard could feel his rage bubbling to dangerous levels, so with a strangled scream of anger, and a foot to the couch, he stormed out of the house.

"Fuck you, Mikey." He muttered to himself, trying to calm his anger before he met up with Frank.

He needed that money, he was going to lose his god damn mind if he didn't get his hands on some blow, and Mikey just ruined any chance he had.

Frank was an understanding guy though, he'd help Gerard out, surely.

"Fuck." He sighed, his anger turning into helplessness.

He needed that fix, and once he realized he probably wasn't going to get it, his body started to react negatively.

The ache of the craving made it hard to breathe, his whole body basically twitching with need.

Gerard noticed Frank's car parked down the street then, and he mentally braced himself for their meeting.

Frank was his drug dealer, they had met at a bar about a year ago and ever since then Frank has been his dealer.

He seemed like a nice guy though, maybe he could work something out with Gerard until he got paid again.

That thought gave Gerard enough confidence to finish the walk towards Frank's car, and climb into the passenger seat.

"How much you want?" Frank questioned the second the door was closed, reaching down to pick up his backpack. "Same as last time?"

"About that..." Gerard bit his lip nervously, avoiding Frank's gaze now. "D-Do you think you could give me like, a loan? I- I get paid next week, but my brother stole my stash of money-"

"I don't do loans." Frank stated simply, putting his backpack away. 

Gerard felt his panic rise, desperation taking over his every feature.

"I- I need it, please, can I pay you another way? I- I'll clean your house, or your car, or-"

Frank was avoiding his gaze now, his eyes cast forward out his windshield. 

"I don't need any of those things, and if you can't pay up, get out."

"I'll do anything!" Gerard cried, his hand gripping Frank's arm desperately. "Please, I- I just need a little bit-"

Frank's eyes slowly met Gerard's then, and his gaze made Gerard shiver nervously.

"Anything?"

The look in Frank's eyes was very clear with what he wanted, and Gerard felt a wave of emotion when he realized it.

Gerard was too nervous to speak, so he slowly nodded his head instead.

Frank turned in his seat then, his eyes narrowed like he wasn't sure if Gerard was being serious or not.

Then he raised his hand to cup Gerard's face, his thumb coming out slowly across Gerard's plump bottom lip, dragging the flesh down slowly.

Gerard could only watch with wide eyes as Frank continued to inspect him, his eyes slowly drawing over every part of Gerard's body until his hand slowly rested against Gerard's thigh.

"Anything?" He pushed once more, raising an eyebrow, hoping his intentions were clear.

Gerard was a bit confused, he vividly remembers Frank having a girlfriend, and he remembers them being really serious.

He would do anything for the drugs, and he meant it, but he wanted to know why Frank was requesting this.

"Y-Your girlfriend?" Gerard stuttered out, his eyes never leaving Frank's.

That seemed to set him off though, and he gripped Gerard's thigh harshly, causing the other to whimper quietly.

"Bitch cheated on me." He growled through clenched teeth, his angry eyes sending daggers into Gerard as he leaned closer. "I need a distraction, if you can distract me, the drugs are yours."

"O-Okay-" Gerard stuttered out, his breath hitching in his throat when Frank didn't pull away. "Deal..."

That's when Frank pulled away and lifted his hand to seal the deal with a handshake, which Gerard nervously accepted.

"It's official then." Frank muttered, turning his car on and pulling out into the street.

-

Deep down Gerard felt dirty as he followed Frank inside of his house, but the need for drugs was overwhelming that feeling.

It wasn't like he was doing it solely because of the drugs, if Frank had come onto him for any other reason, he would have accepted it.

The drugs were really just a bonus in this situation.

"Nice place..." Gerard spoke softly, following Frank into his bedroom. 

Frank didn't reply, he just tossed his jacket onto the floor, turning to face Gerard once the door was closed.

"One more thing." He spoke darkly, startling Gerard back against the door. "You have to wear her clothes."

"W-What-" Gerard stuttered out, watching with wide eyes as Frank walked into his closet. "I-"

His sentence was cut off as a piece of clothing was thrown at him, and his eyes widened when he realized it was thigh highs, followed by a pair of dark underwear that seemed to connect to them.

Gerard's head was spinning, there was no way he would be able to do this sober.

"C-Can I take the drugs first?" He requested as Frank threw another item at him. 

"No."

"Please?"

Frank returned from the closet then and once again practically pinned Gerard against the wall.

"Drugs make consent invalid." 

"I-I'm consenting now-" Gerard tried.

"No." Frank spoke seriously, taking a step closer to Gerard so they were touching. "If you're high, this isn't happening."

In an effort to distract himself from the fear, Gerard quickly pressed his lips against Frank's, resulting in the other shoving him up against the door as the kiss deepened instantly.

The sensation was almost as good as the drugs, which would definitely help him get through this without feeling the guilt or shame. 

"Fuck-" Gerard gasped as the kiss broke, panting heavily as his body remained pinned against the door.

"Put them on." Frank ordered, stepping away from Gerard and instead sitting on the edge of his bed.

Gerard nervously gazed down at the items, slowly pulling his shirt over his head.

Frank watched with hungry eyes as Gerard slowly undressed, his tongue gliding across his lower lip distractedly.

Gerard was already extremely hard, the intense kiss on top of the thought of what was about to happen had him aching in his boxers.

Frank smirked as Gerard pulled down his pants, the sight fueling his own rising arousal.

"You want this anyways, don't you?" He questioned as Gerard stood there in his boxers, his cheeks bright red. "That why you buy so often?"

"Just want the drugs." Gerard lied, distracting himself and Frank by pulling down his boxers.

"Damn." Frank mumbled, pressing his hand against his crotch absentmindedly. "This is already working."

Gerard ignored the way his stomach did flip flops at Frank's words, and nervously pulled on the black underwear.

Frank's girlfriend was a bigger girl, so the items of clothing fit Gerard almost perfectly.

"Keep going." Frank ordered as Gerard just stood there, making the other quickly pull up the thigh highs, and connect them to the underwear. "Fuck, you've got really nice legs, you know that?" Frank groaned, sliding his hand down his pants. "Can't wait to feel those wrapped around my waist-"

Gerard was far too nervous to speak, so instead he turned his attention to the last piece of clothing Frank had tossed him, frowning when he didn't understand what it was.

"I-" Gerard frowned, inspecting the clothing from different angles. "I-"

"Forget it." Frank snapped, clearly becoming inpatient. "Just get over here."

Gerard dropped the unidentified item quickly, and scurried over to Frank, standing obediently in front of him.

Frank hummed quietly as his hands came out against Gerard's waist, slowly trailing down over the fabric before he dug his fingernails into Gerard's thighs.

"Frank-" Gerard whimpered, his whole body tense as he resisted the urge to beg for what he wanted. "Please..." he failed, his own hand coming down to palm his crotch. 

"No." Frank snapped, pulling away Gerard's hand. "You have to earn it."

"O-Okay..." Gerard bit his lip. "What do you want me to do?"

Frank grinned and leaned back, spreading his legs slightly before patting his lap, instructing Gerard to sit down.

Gerard took a nervous step forward, but Frank stopped him, ordering him to turn around first.

He obeyed slowly, his body turning away from Frank before he gently settled himself in Frank's lap.

"God damn," Frank muttered, his hips instantly pressing up against Gerard's ass, his hands gripping Gerard's own hips harshly. "Your ass is almost as nice as your face."

Gerard's body trembled as he felt Frank's hard cock against his ass, aching for the skin to skin contact. 

"Work for it." Frank whispered, releasing his hands from Gerard's hips, and instead using them to prop himself up as he leaned back on the bed. "Distract me."

Gerard was nervous as hell, but he gently started moving his hips back against Frank's crotch, and by the sounds he was making, it was exactly what Frank wanted.

It probably wasn't the best lap dance in the world, but in Gerard's defense he was going through withdraw, and the only sexual thing he had ever done was messy handjobs or blowjobs in the bar bathrooms.

With time his confidence grew though, his hips swayed more confidently against Frank's lap, rolling back every few seconds, shocking Frank into a quiet moaning mess.

When Frank finally had enough he wrapped his arm around Gerard's waist, pulling him against him roughly, his mouth hot over Gerard's ear.

"You gonna let me fuck you?" He breathed out against Gerard's ear, his hand sliding down to palm Gerard roughly through the fabric. "Gonna let me ruin that pretty little ass of yours?"

Frank wasn't a horrible person, if Gerard really didn't want to do this, he'd find another way for him to pay for the drugs; but as he felt the wetness of Gerard's pre-cum through the fabric of his ex girlfriends underwear, he knew Gerard wanted it just as much as he did.

"Y-Yes-" Gerard stuttered out, his head falling back against Frank's shoulder as Frank slowly massaged him through the underwear. "Please-"

Gerard wasn't even thinking about the drugs at this point, all he could think about was Frank's hand, and the way it was making his eyes roll to the back of his head without even touching his dick directly.

Frank pushed Gerard off of his lap, and stood to his feet, shoving Gerard roughly onto the bed, basking in the wide eyes that stared up at him.

"You look scared." Frank commented as he pulled off his shirt, unbuttoning his pants. "You scared?"

"N-No." Gerard lied, but his fearful expression only grew as Frank pulled down his pants. 

There was no way that was going to fit in his ass, or feel good for that matter.

"Don't lie to me." Frank warned, the look he was giving Gerard making the other shiver. "What are you afraid of?"

"I-" Gerard blushed violently, tearing his gaze away from Frank. "I've never-"

"You're a virgin?" 

Gerard nodded his head shamefully, and Frank stood there in shock, contemplating his next move.

He originally just wanted to fuck the shit out of him, but that was before he knew it was his first time.

Frank felt an ache in his heart when he realized Gerard was losing his virginity for drugs, and even though he didn't know the guy all that well, he knew he deserved better for a first time than what Frank was going to give him.

He'd make this good for the both of him, he decided, and walked over to his closet.

Gerard thought he was backing out now that Frank knew he was a virgin, and quickly began pleading as his body reacted negatively to the thought he wasn't going to get the drugs.

"No- please- I want this, I really do- please I need the drugs, please just forget I said anything-"

"It's still happening." Frank waved him off, retrieving an old bottle of lube he had stored in there, along with a condom. "Just differently." 

Gerard watched nervously as Frank returned, tossing the items next to him before hovering on top of him.

Frank distracted him instantly though, his lips pressing against the others desperately, their hips flush against each other.

As if on instinct, Gerard wrapped his legs around Frank's waist, causing the other to groan quietly and break the kiss so he could glance down at their almost connected bodies.

"Fuck." He breathed out, one hand reaching down to rest on Gerard's thigh. "So fucking hot."

Gerard still looked terrified though, and when he noticed Frank looking down at him with a concerned expression, he voiced his fear.

"I-Is it gonna hurt?" He stuttered out, hoping he wasn't killing the mood, or rather his chance at getting some blow. 

"You have to talk to me, or else it will hurt, really bad, okay?"

"O-Okay." Gerard nodded. "Sorry.."

Frank ignored his apology and instead kissed him, eventually moving down to his neck, and then his chest.

Gerard watched with wide eyes as Frank continued kissing down his body; this he was familiar with, this didn't scare him.

Frank eyed him for any signs of fear, and when he found none, he slowly pulled down the black underwear and tossed them to the floor.

Gerard had his legs bent on either side of Frank at this point, and he clutched desperately at the bed sheets as the anticipation grew.

He gasped when it finally happened, the warm wet sensation startling his body into a fit of trembles, his head thrown back into the pillows as he bit back the moan growing deep in his throat.

Gerard didn't need to make any sounds for Frank to know he was enjoying it, Frank could feel it in his mouth; Gerard's throbbing cock swelling against his tongue, stretching his lips to the absolute limit.

Frank hadn't sucked dick in ages, but as he continued pushing down, he realized how much he missed it.

Gerard failed at keeping quiet as Frank continued pushing down, a strangled cry leaving his lips as he felt the tip hit the back of Frank's throat.

Frank groaned before relaxing his throat, inhaling a deep breath through his nose before he pushed the last little bit down, letting Gerard slip down his throat.

"F-Fuck-" Gerard stuttered shakily, resisting the urge to thrust forward as Frank swallowed around him. "Ah-"

Frank hummed quietly as he pulled back up, his cheeks hallowed as his hand reached up to cup Gerard's balls, making the other sob with pleasure.

Gerard wasn't going to last long like this, that was very clear, so after a few more bobs of his head, Frank eased the suction he had around him; he kept his mouth on his dick, but his free hand reached for the lube, instantly covering two of his fingers in it.

Gerard was far too lost in the sensation of Frank's mouth to realize what was happening until there was a burn, but as soon as that pain shocked up his back, he was whimpering and pulling away.

"Shh." Frank whispered as he pulled away, licking the excess saliva from his lips. "It will get better, it'll hurt a lot worse if we don't do this."

The drugs Frank dealt were nearby on his dresser, and Gerard glanced at it, seeing the blow he so desperately craved; the promise of the drugs was enough to have Gerard relaxing as much as he could, and Frank slowly returned to prepping him.

His face scrunched up in pain as he kept his eyes on the drugs, but soon the pain subsided into a pleasant feeling, a relaxing one almost.

His body relaxed as the pain subsided, and Frank smiled to himself, getting more adventurous with his fingers.

It took him a few moments, but when it finally happened Gerard gasped, his back arching off the bed as a drawn out moan fled from his lips.

"How's that feel?" Frank smirked, rubbing against the spot roughly.

"S-So good- fuck-" Gerard sobbed, his body pushing down against his fingers. "Want more-"

Frank pulled away from his prostate then, and quickly finished prepping him, Gerard's pleas causing his brain to short circuit with desire.

"You still gonna let me fuck you?" Frank questioned as he reached for the condom, and Gerard glanced nervously at the drugs before nodding his head.

It wasn't that Gerard didn't want to have sex with him, or that he only wanted the drugs, because truth be told he was hard as fuck and dying to get off; he was just terrified, so the promise of drugs forced his mind into ignoring the fear.

"Say it." Frank growled, curling his fingers around Gerard tightly, causing the other to cry out.

"Gah- fuck me-" Gerard begged, his eyes on Frank's now instead of the drugs. "Please-"

Frank grinned and tore open the package with his teeth, quickly putting it on along with a generous amount of lube.

"You fucking tell me if it hurts, otherwise you're not getting the drugs, understand me?" 

"I- I understand." Gerard nodded, keeping eye contact with Frank. "I'll tell you."

Frank couldn't wait any longer, so he hooked one arm under Gerard's leg, lifting his body up just enough so he could line up.

He tried to ignore the way Gerard looked so petrified, and instead slowly pushed the tip in, knowing it would get better for him soon.

"Oh my god-" Gerard gasped, his whole body tense as it fought to open up to the intrusion. 

"Relax." Frank spoke through clenched teeth, resisting the urge to shove forward.

Gerard did as he said, and once Frank felt it he slowly pushed in more and more.

He stopped whenever Gerard would whimper, or tell him it hurt, but eventually he was all the way in, his body flush against Gerard's.

"Fuck- you feel so good." Frank groaned, leaning forward to kiss him. "Holy shit-"

"S-Still hurts-" Gerard whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut so Frank wouldn't see the tears forming. 

Frank didn't pull out, but he used his free hand to slowly touch Gerard, while his mouth kissed and nipped at his chest.

Gerard liked that, and as soon as his body relaxed, and he started letting out quiet sounds of pleasure, Frank gently started up a slow pace.

"O-Oh, god-" Gerard panted out as the pain slowly turned into pleasure. "Fuck-"

"Feel good?" Frank grinned, lifting his head to gaze down at Gerard. "Ready for more?"

"Please-" Gerard breathed out, his body demanding more. "Harder-"

"Fuck." Frank groaned out, snapping his hips forward with more force, loving the way it caused Gerard to cry out and throw his head back. 

Gerard had forgotten about the drugs by this point(again), all he could focus on was the pleasure twisting at his stomach, or the lust filled gaze Frank had on him.

This was too much, yet not enough for Frank, but he knew exactly what to do to satisfy the feeling.

"Fuck-" He pulled out quickly, his hands on Gerard's hips. "Turn around-"

He pulled Gerard onto his stomach then, lifting his hips up as he wasted no time in pushing back in.

The new position had Frank going all that deeper, and it made both of their heads spin with pleasure.

"Fuck-" Frank groaned, leaning his upper body down to mold against Gerard's. "Keep yourself up."

Gerard's arms shook as held himself up, the pleasure being far too much to be able to do something like that, not to mention Frank was breathing heavily against his neck, sending shivers down his spine.

"Can't-" He gasped. "Feels too good- shit-"

He collapsed face first into the pillows then, but quickly tried to regain his strength.

"Stay like that." Frank ordered, knowing Gerard couldn't do it. 

Frank lifted his upper body up again, one hand gripping Gerard's hip harshly, while the other rested on his lower back.

Frank's mouth watered at the sight; Gerard's plump ass on show for him, so tight it was barely accepting his thick cock.

His head was spinning with all the pleasure it was processing; from the tight heat around him, to the muffled screams Gerard was letting out into the pillows.

He wasn't going to last long like this, not with the way Gerard was pushing back against him, screaming out his name like it was the only word he knew.

"F-Frank-" Gerard gasped out, turning his head so Frank could hear him. "Fuck, please- I need to come-"

Suddenly Gerard was pulled up against Frank's chest, Frank's strong arm across his chest, keeping him in place as he thrust up into him.

He leaned back into him instantly, his head falling back against Frank's shoulder as he began kissing at his jaw.

Frank was about to lose it, so he quickly reached down to pump Gerard, dragging his teeth against Gerard's jaw as he did so.

Gerard came suddenly, a loud cry escaping his lips as he desperately moved back against Frank through his orgasm.

"F-Fuck-" Frank groaned, his body jerking forward as Gerard clenched around him. "Fuck, I'm gonna come-"

And just like that he did, clutching Gerard against his body as he spilled into the condom.

"Fuck." Frank breathed out, collapsing next to Gerard on his bed. "Take whatever you want."

Gerard didn't wait to catch his breath before he was getting out of the bed, quickly making his way over to the dresser of drugs, still completely naked.

Frank watched him lazily, his eyes scanning over the red marks left on Gerard's skin, or the soft glint of sweat.

He didn't mind when Gerard took a weeks worth of coke, or a little bag of pills, Gerard had just given him one of the best fucks of his life, Gerard could take the whole load if he wanted.

"T-Thanks." Gerard stuttered out as he rushed to get dressed, ignoring the pain in his ass. "I-I'll text you when I need more."

He rushed out of the room then, not giving Frank a chance to respond.

He met a surprise at the door though, and that was Frank's exgirlfriend, looking bitchier than ever.

"Is Frank here?" She questioned rudely, gazing over Gerard with a disgusted look. "I need to get my shit."

Gerard's eyes widened as he remembered he had worn her clothes, and quickly stuttered out that Frank was in the bedroom, then practically ran out of the house.

You couldn't really call it running though, it was more like aggressively limping considering what his body had just gone through for the first time.

The walk home was a long one, but the weight of the drugs in his pocket kept him going, no matter how badly his body hurt.

He ignored the suspicious looks Mikey sent him when he returned, and hid out in his bedroom, keeping the door locked so Mikey wouldn't be able to come in.

Then he hid the coke in his dresser, popping a few of the pills with a large swig of vodka, sighing quietly as he collapsed on his bed, ready for the drugs to take him into his own drug induced paradise.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> drug use

"Jesus- fuck-" Gerard groaned as he inhaled the line, his body trembling as he wiped at his nose. "Fuck-"

He fell back against his bed as the drug hit him like a train, his thoughts racing a mile a minute; something was different this time though, all his thoughts were about Frank.

Frank on top of him, Frank going down on him, Frank giving him that look before he took something Gerard would never get back.

"Fuck." He groaned, curling in on himself as he felt his jeans tighten. "Frank, fuck-"

He turned his face into the pillow as he slipped his hand between his legs, whimpering quietly as he pictured it being Frank.

Sober Gerard would have been embarrassed at the fact he was practically humping his hand, thinking about someone he barely knew as he drooled on his pillow, but high Gerard didn't give a fuck.

The drugs weren't suppose to do this, the drugs were suppose to distract him from reality, the drugs were suppose to work.

If they were working he wouldn't be thinking about Frank right now, he'd just be laid back on his bed, thinking about things that would never happen.

But Frank had happened, and now it was like Gerard was craving for it again.

"Gah-" Gerard hissed quietly as he shoved his hand down his pants, the skin to skin contact making his body jolt with pleasure. "Oh, Frank- fuck me, please, aahh-"

The sight was pretty pathetic, Gerard's face in his pillow, his ass up in the air as much as possible, pretending that Frank was behind him while he touched himself.

Suddenly there was a knock on his door, it was Mikey trying to let Gerard know he was leaving for work.

"Fuck off!" Gerard yelled, collapsing on his side as he grabbed an empty vodka bottle, chucking it at his bedroom door. "Go!"

Mikey left without a second glance, used to his brothers behavior, but Gerard stumbled over to the door anyways, making sure it was still locked.

"Fuck you, Mikey." Gerard growled as he leaned against the door.

His thoughts quickly returned to Frank though, and he immediately dropped his pants, curling his fingers around his dick without second thought.

"Fuck yeah." He groaned, his head falling back as he pictured Frank on his knees in front of him. "F-Fuckin' take all of it- choke-"

His motions were fast and sloppy, and the sounds leaving his lips were nothing less than slutty and desperate.

"Ahh, Frank- oh god-" He muttered the strangest things under his breath as he jerked himself off, most of which made no sense at all, the only factor making sense being Frank. "Shit- fuck-"

He slowly slid down the wall as his legs fought to give out, his body absentmindedly positioning himself on his hands and knees again.

He swore he could feel Frank pounding into him from behind, his tattooed hands running along his ass, gripping his hips harshly.

"Fuck," Gerard whined, his moans getting higher in pitch as he got closer and closer to his orgasm. "P-Please- ah-"

The memory of Frank losing it the day before sent Gerard over the edge, he came with a strangled cry of pleasure, his body falling limp onto his back.

He panted heavily as he stared up at the ceiling, his drug high slowly fading as he came down from his physical high.

"I need a drink." Gerard groaned to himself, finding the energy to crawl over to his bed, where he hid his liquor.

He groaned when he realized he was out though, and grumbled angrily as he climbed back onto his bed to prepare another line for himself.

He had an entire weeks worth of coke, he could afford to go a little wild tonight.

He tossed his shirt before cutting the line, making it nice and straight before he rolled up the dollar bill he had been using.

Frank sold him some good shit too, Gerard was very eager to binge on it.

"Fuck." Gerard shivered, wiping his nose as the burn took over. "Shit."

He relaxed on his bed just like before, and let his mind run wild; unfortunately that still meant thinking about Frank, and before he knew it, he was hard again.

That was the pattern for the rest of the night, Gerard would get high, then get hard while thinking about Frank, jack off to the thoughts, then take another line.

He did it until he passed out in a pile of his own puke and come.

-

He woke up late that night, his entire body shivering as the night cold covered him in a blanket of frost.

"Fuck- gross-" Gerard groaned as he eyed the fluids he was currently lying in. "God damn it."

He hauled himself to his feet then, stumbling over to his phone to see what time it was.

3AM.

Fuck, Gerard had work in the morning, and he was extremely hungover from his mess of drugs.

Knowing he didn't have much choice, he dragging his feet into the bathroom to shower.

If he was going to get another minute of sleep tonight, he'd have to clean up first.

The warm water burned his freezing skin, but he welcomed the burn compared to the burning in his nose, or ache in his head.

He was falling asleep by the time he was finished, so he quickly returned to his room, dropping his towel over the mess he had made before collapsing back onto his bed and passing out.

When the alarm went off it was like several nails were being shoved into Gerard's head, the loud blaring making him want to cry out in pain.

He didn't want to go to work, he wanted to stay home all day and get high, probably jerk off some more; he did not want to go make coffee for snotty people who thought they were better than him.

He needed this job though, without the money flow Mikey would surely kick him out, and then he'd be homeless and addicted to drugs; that mix doesn't work well.

So with as much dread as a person could carry, he managed to get ready, hoping the stench on his work clothes wasn't noticeable.

"Bye." He mumbled to Mikey as he passed him in the living room, ignoring the concerned looks he was getting.

Mikey just wanted the best for Gerard, and deep down he knew that, he just thought the best for him right now was doing drugs, whereas Mikey wanted him to be sober.

"Love you, be safe." Mikey called out after him, but Gerard ignored it, instead walking out into the cold Jersey air, his jacket hung closely to his body as he started the short walk to work.

He hated work, and he hated his boss who always pushes him to be friendly.

He was friendly, just because he didn't act like he ate a bowl of sunshine that day didn't mean he wasn't friendly.

"You're late." His boss commented as he entered the empty Starbucks.

Gerard frowned and glanced up at the clock on the wall, rolling his eyes when he noticed he was two minutes late.

"There's no costumers." Gerard grumbled, shrugging off his coat. "I mean, I'm sorry, Sir."

His boss didn't speak to him after that, so he less than enthusiastically made his way behind the counter, ready for hell.

He had morning shifts, it was the only position open, and Gerard was desperate for a job at the time.

He highly regretted that though, he could barely stay awake during the day, let alone at the crack of dawn.

Someone eventually came into the Starbucks so Gerard put on his fake smile, taking their order in the chirpiest tone he could manage.

He was doing pretty good about the whole 'be happy and friendly' thing, that is until about three hours into his shift, when a familiar face walked in.

Frank.

Frank had never gone to this Starbucks before, why the hell was he here now?

Gerard just wanted the floor to swallow him whole, he'd even settle for one of the lights bursting and crushing his skull.

They both made eye contact then, Gerard's wide and nervous, Frank's startled, yet pleasantly surprised.

"Hey..." He spoke softly as he approached the counter, his eyes gazing over Gerard in his uniform.

Gerard ignored him, instead looking down at the counter, hoping Frank would just place his order and be gone.

"Gerard!" His boss snapped from his side, startling Gerard into his robot routine.

"Welcome to Starbucks!" Gerard greeted with a painfully fake smile. "What can I get you today?"

Inside he was dying, he felt like crying, or lighting himself on fire- he felt scared, and embarrassed, and ashamed, and every negative emotion you could think of.

"I'll have a caramel latte, for here, please."

Gerard shrunk in on himself as he realized Frank wasn't leaving right away, but forced himself to grab the cup needed.

"N-Name?" Gerard stuttered out, sharpie in hand.

"You know my name." Frank spoke, leaning closer to whisper something to Gerard. "You said it enough times the other day."

Gerard blinked furiously as he fought off the tears threatening to form, and quickly scribbled out Frank's name on the cup, entering his order on the register.

Frank noticed how upset Gerard seemed then, and his humor changed into an odd sense of concern.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Your total is 4.50." Gerard stated simply, avoiding eye contact as he waited for the payment.

Gerard didn't know why he was so upset; it wasn't really about selling himself for drugs, because honestly he was shocked it hadn't happened earlier.

He didn't care about using himself for that, but with Frank, he wished it had happened because they both wanted it to.

Not for drugs, just to be close.

He wanted to have sex with Frank because Frank desired him, not because he needed something in return for his drugs.

"Okay." Frank nodded, handing Gerard the payment. "Thanks."

Gerard ignored him and immediately started making his drink instead, putting more effort into it than he usually did.

Frank met him at the other end of the counter, and Gerard still avoided complete eye contact as he handed him his drink, ignoring his thank you.

Frank wandered off to a table then, his eyes on Gerard the entire time.

After that encounter Gerard needed his break, his needed a cigarette or something to calm his nerves.

"I'm going on break." Gerard mumbled to his boss, who objected immediately. 

"Go wipe down the tables first, it's disgusting out there."

"Please-" Gerard begged, gazing over his shoulder at Frank. "Please, just let me take my break first-"

"Tables." His boss stated simply, waving his hand off at Gerard, pissing him off in the process.

"Fine." He grumbled, ignoring the urge to flip him the bird as he retrieved the wash rag.

Frank was the only customer in the building at the time, so Gerard couldn't even distract himself with other costumers.

It didn't help his nerves that Frank was still watching him, his eyes watching Gerard's every move.

Gerard looked rough, and Frank noticed that.

His eyes were redder than usual, he had bags under his eyes, and Frank definitely noticed the stench from his clothes, even with the distance that was between them.

Frank didn't understand it, but he felt worried, and little bit guilty.

The drugs was what was making Gerard look so awful, and least Frank thought that was it, and he had supplied him of them.

He usually didn't give a fuck about his costumers, in fact, the more fucked up they were, the better, more business that way.

But after spending that time with Gerard, even though it was strictly business, had him realizing that Gerard was a sweet guy, and he didn't deserve the pain that came along with addiction.

Frank almost wanted to stop supplying him, but he knew the other dealers in town, and he knew how desperate Gerard was, he didn't want to have to put Gerard in that danger.

Plus the thought of Gerard sleeping with any of those sleazy dealers had Frank's stomach twisting violently.

A piece of him didn't want Gerard sleeping with other people, especially for that reason.

He wanted to say something to Gerard as he watched him clean the tables with distress, but he didn't know what to say to him.

They weren't friends, he couldn't just pry into his life, and by the way Gerard reacted when he showed up, it was clear he had no interest in talking to Frank either.

He finished his drink slowly, but it was still gone before Gerard had finished cleaning the tables.

Frank wanted to try and make Gerard's day better, so he pulled out a ten dollar bill and hid it under his coffee cup.

He also noticed one of those 'tell us about your visit' cards, so he grabbed one and scribbled out a nice compliment about Gerard's work.

"Was very nice and made the best latte I have ever had, I will definitely be back."

He gave him the highest rating on all the criteria, even though he was a little less than friendly, but Frank kinda deserved that.

"Thank you." He called out to Gerard as he placed the note card in the box.

Gerard mumbled a 'come again', and that was it, Frank was gone.

Gerard immediately let out a sigh of relief, but that quickly turned into a groan when he noticed Frank hadn't thrown away his garbage.

Seriously, the trash can was right next to the door, how hard could it be?

He grabbed the cup angrily, but his anger quickly softened as he noticed the bill of money.

He grabbed it instantly, shoving it into his pocket before his boss saw it.

They were suppose to all split the tips at the end of the day, but there was no way Gerard was sharing this with his boss, especially since he had done none of the work.

He smiled a bit as he finished cleaning Frank's table, then finally rushed outside for a much needed break.

Gerard searched the nearby ashtray for any cigarettes that still had a bit left on them, and groaned happily as he found one only half full.

He had no shame by this point, he was a drug addicted alcoholic, smoking a discarded cigarette was nothing to him.

"Finally." Gerard sighed as he inhaled the nicotine, feeling a sense of calm for the first time in the last four hours.

People gave him dirty looks as he smoked the cigarette, but he didn't care, he was used to the dirty looks by now.

His break flew by, and before he knew it he was dragging his feet into the building, ready to suffer in hell once again.

-

Gerard bought a pack of smokes with the money Frank had tipped him, and not even the cheap shitty brand, the good kind, the kind that made Gerard feel fucking awesome.

He could never afford decent cigarettes, but he was able to purchase one with this money.

He grinned as he opened the pack on his way home, lifting one to his lips and taking a long drag without the fear it would be gone too soon.

Mikey was gone when Gerard got home from work, leaving Gerard alone with his destructive habits.

Mikey had even left beer in the fridge by accident, which Gerard quickly hid in his bedroom; not that he needed to hide it, they'd be gone by the time Mikey returned home.

He was so giddy with excitement when he finally came to a rest in his room.

No Mikey to bother him, no work to inconvenience him, just his peaceful silence and stash of drugs, just the way he liked it.

The only thing he wished he could change was the fact that there was a pile of puke and cum under a dirty towel that was starting to smell.

Cleaning it up wasn't an option for him, so he simply sprayed it with febreeze, that's what he did with his work clothes.

He decided to hold off on the coke for now, instead he just chugged a couple of beers, popping a few more of those pills he had taken from Frank.

He didn't know what the pills were, but he knew they made him feel fantastic, and that he was going to get some more next time.

Fuck, next time; would he pay with his body again?

Gerard already craved that feeling, so much that he was tempted to head out to one of the local bars, find someone who would fuck him in their car.

But no, he wanted Frank, he wanted to see those dark eyes and bold tattoos, he didn't want a stranger.

His head started to ache with the thoughts of Frank, so he decided waiting on the coke was a poor decision, and quickly cut himself a few lines.

"Yes." He sighed happily, rubbing his hands together before he found an old dollar bill he had been using. He grinned as he leaned down, lining up the bill with his nose and line of coke, inhaling sharply as the substance shot up his nose. "F-Fuck-" His body trembled, the rush hitting him all at once.

This was probably a poor decision as well, because the only thing his mind seemed to race with was thoughts of Frank.

He lasted about five minutes before he declared he was going to fuck Frank again, as soon as possible; he didn't want to wait until the drugs were gone to go back, because they wouldn't be gone for a few days at least.

He eyed the baggies with temptation, if he took all the drugs right now, he'd be able to go back for more.

"No, fuck-" Gerard grumbled as his body tried to reach for the rest of the drugs. "Fuckin' idiot gonna kill yourself-"

He couldn't fuck Frank if he was dead.

"Can fake it." He mumbled, nodding his head proudly. "Pretend its gone."

But what if Frank didn't want to have sex with him? What if he got the distraction he wanted, and now he was fine?

Gerard had to give him an offer he couldn't refuse, and after Frank's 'special condition' last time, Gerard knew exactly what to do.

In a fit of giggles he rushed into Mikey's room, tearing the room upside down while he searched for Mikey's emergency credit card.

"Yes!" He exclaimed happily as he found it, quickly tidying the room up as much as possible before grabbing his jacket and phone.

He took one more line before he left, knowing he'd need that extra courage for what he was about to do.

Miraculously he managed to make it to all the shops, his blurry vision searching for the store he usually ignored.

Victoria's Secret.

He grinned as he noticed it, quickly rushing inside, and ignoring all the funny looks he got.

His eyes were wide as he stumbled around the store, seeing several more items of clothing he couldn't identify.

Luckily he could identify the fancy underwear that he was forced to wear, which made it easier to find a pair.

There were so many different kinds, and different colors, he didn't know which Frank would like.

Gerard liked the pink lacy ones with bows though, he didn't even care that the back side was a fucking string.

His fried brain didn't even think about how uncomfortable that would be, no, all it thought about is how cute those matching pink fishnets would look with them.

People were watching him, people were judging him, but luckily he was too high out of his mind to realize it.

When he sobered up he would probably regret it, especially since this is a small town, and he would probably run into these people again.

But for right now he was gazing over the bras like a confused baby, he never realized how many different types there were, and he wondered if he should buy one.

What size would he get though?

He didn't have the right parts for that anyway, so it was going to look stupid with whichever size he went with.

Thinking logically for once, he decided against the bras, especially as he noticed a wall of skirts.

"Ooo." He whispered to himself, walking over to them. "I bet he'd love these..."

One in particular caught his attention, it was a flowed skirt with a tight waist, the color matching the shade of Gerard's jet black hair.

He grabbed it instantly, rushing to the counter to pay for the items; his high was wearing off, he needed to leave before it was gone completely.

"Find everything okay?" The cashier smiled, obviously trying to ignore the way Gerard was sniffling aggressively, or wiping his nose.

"Yes, thank you." He mumbled, handing her the credit card, ignoring the high total.

Mikey was going to kill him, but that was a problem for another time.

He rushed out of the store before the woman could wish him a good day, and practically sprinted home now that his high was completely gone.

He was out of breath by the time he got home, but luckily Mikey was still gone so Gerard could put his credit card back without him knowing.

The next step was thinking of an actual game plan, he could show up in this stuff, but then what?

He had to seduce Frank, and Frank had seemed to like lap dances before, so Gerard snatched Mikey's laptop to do some research.

He was going to learn how to give the best lap dance Frank had ever received, then there would be no way Frank could turn him down.

He watched tons of videos, eventually sticking with one who had the women pressing the man against a wall, using her ass to keep him there while she moved it against him.

It seemed simple enough, sway your ass against his crotch, roll it back against his dick a few times, maybe bend your knees a bit to drag your ass against his thighs.

He took another line before he decided to practice, using his imagination to pretend Frank was behind him as he moved his hips.

That only led to another Frank induced boner, and after a while Gerard had porn opened up instead, his hand wrapped tightly around his dick as he pictured him and Frank doing the things in the video.

"Fuck-" He growled, his eyes squeezing shut as he neared his release. "Frank- ahh- shit!"

He gasped as he came, narrowly missing the laptop with his cum, thank fuck for that, that would have been awkward to explain.

He wiped himself off with a dirty T-shirt, attempting to delete the search history and return the laptop before Mikey returned.

Mikey would be pissed if he knew Gerard was using his things without asking, so Gerard would much rather avoid that confrontation.

Luck was on his side for once, because just after he returned to his bedroom from putting away the laptop, Mikey walked through the front door.

Gerard stayed in his room of course, debating his next course of action.

It wasn't too late, maybe he should go over to Frank's house tonight.

He honestly could not stop thinking about that man, so he decided the sooner the better, and got into the shower to wash up.

Usually he didn't care if he was gross, or smelled bad, but he wanted to seduce Frank, you can't seduce someone while smelling like shit.

It was weird feeling properly cleaned for once, but it made him feel good; Gerard hated wasting time on showering, especially after he picked up the drugs, he just didn't have time for that, all he had time for was the drugs.

And now Frank.

He hurriedly finished getting ready, which included blow drying his hair, brushing his teeth, and finding an old trench coat he use to wear.

He was going to wear the items he had bought today, and that was it, which is why he needed the trench coat, he was stupid, but he wasn't stupid enough to walk outside in underwear in Jersey.

Not even the hookers downtown wore that little, instead they made their job clear by wearing a ribbon around their neck.

That started a few years ago, a hooker wearing little clothing was raped and brutally murdered, and since then, they all wore more clothing.

The suspect said his 'trigger' to the crime was her lack of clothing, so all the hookers changed their dress code after that.

Luckily he found the coat in good time, and before he knew it, he was pulling on the uncomfortable items of clothing.

He really regretted picking a thong as he pulled it on, he felt like he was having a constant wedgie, which brought back not so fond memories from school.

He fought through though, because Frank would like it, he knew Frank would.

Finally he was dressed, but he refused to look himself in the mirror, he didn't want to see how he looked, because if he did, he would talk himself out of it.

Frank liked it, Gerard himself, not so much.

"Okay." Gerard sighed to himself as he wrapped the coat around his body. "Okay..."

He eyed his stash of drugs then, and quickly made his way over to it.

He knew Frank said drugs made consent invalid, but there was no way he was doing this sober, no matter how badly he wanted it.

He didn't do any coke, but he took a couple of pills, those would give him the discrete courage he needed.

He didn't have time to wait for them to kick in, so he tugged his shoes on, grateful they covered part of the fishnets the coat didn't.

Mikey questioned where he was going at this hour, but Gerard ignored him like he always did.

The cold Jersey air crept under his coat and sent shivers down his spine, only encouraging him more to get to Frank's house.

Which was far as hell, but if he walked fast, he could make it there in about 15 minutes.

The drugs were kicking in as he reached Frank's block, his hazy mind trying desperately to remember which house was his.

Luckily Frank's car was parked out in front of one of them, and Gerard had been in the car enough times to know for sure it was Frank's.

He panicked as he saw the house though, what if Frank wasn't alone? What if Frank rejected him? What if he was about to make a fool out of himself?

There was a constant nagging voice in the back of his head though, ordering him to walk up the steps, and knock on the door.

And apparently that voice had the ability to control his body, because next thing he knew, he was knocking on the door.

"Fuck." He hissed quietly to himself, full reality sinking in now.

He almost bolted from the door when he heard Frank call out 'just a minute' but by the time his drugged mind thought of it, the door was opening.

"Gerard?" Frank furrowed his eyebrows together, taking in his odd choice in attire. "What are you doing here?"

"I uh-" Gerard mumbled, forgetting everything once Frank's eyes met his. "Can I come in?"

"Okay..." Frank mumbled in returned, stepping aside and letting Gerard in. "You know it's not safe to be out this late?"

"I need more drugs." Gerard finally said, trying to sound confident as he locked eye contact with Frank again.

"What?!" Frank gasped, eyes wide. "Gerard, you took a weeks worth the other day, there's no way you need more- tell me you didn't take all of that already."

Gerard just shrugged, because really he hadn't taken all of it, but if Frank knew that, he wouldn't give him any more.

"Gerard, fuck-" Frank breathed out, an emotion he wasn't used to filling his veins; worry. "You can't take that much in a day or two, is that why you looked so bad at work earlier?"

Gerard was a bit offended by that, but Frank wasn't wrong, well maybe he was wrong about the cause of Gerard's 'bad looks' of the day, but he was bad, if that made sense.

He simply shrugged again, not trusting his brain to form words at the moment.

"Fuck." He sighed, falling onto his couch. "Gerard- I'm not giving you any more drugs tonight."

Gerard's internal panic set in then, even though he didn't need the drugs, hearing that sentence sent him into panic mode.

"Please-" Gerard begged shamelessly. "I- I-"

"No." Frank stated simply, getting back up to lead Gerard to the front door. "I'm not going to let you destroy yourself like this again."

Gerard let out an angry breath, shoving Frank against the door, not willing to give up so easily.

He needed this, fuck, he needed this more than he needed the coke back at home.

Frank looked petrified as Gerard held him there, knowing he was completely fucked if Gerard retaliated after being denied drugs.

"I-I'm sorry-" Gerard stuttered out, pulling away just slightly. "I just- I just need you to listen-"

"Okay..." Frank spoke calmly, brushing down his shirt that Gerard had ruffled.

Gerard took a deep breath as he slowly undid the buttons on his coat.

"I'm serious though, Gerard, I'm not-"

Gerard dropped the coat.


	3. Chapter 3

"Fuck." Frank groaned, falling back against the wall as he gazed over Gerard, his pants tightening at the sight.

Gerard shifted nervously on his feet, his knee bending in front of the other as he bit his lip.

"W-What are you doing?" Frank finally stammered out a few moments later, his shock fading slowly.

"Drugs..." Gerard whispered. "No money..."

"I'm not giving you any more drugs tonight..." Frank replied shakily, straightening up against the wall as Gerard took a step towards him. "T-That's final."

"Let me prepay you for next time then..." Gerard spoke softly, taking another step towards Frank, leaving them barely inches apart.

It clicked in Frank's mind when Gerard didn't push the exchange of drugs that something else was up, and as he gazed into his lustful eyes, he thought he knew what it was.

"This isn't about the drugs...is it?" Frank spoke softly, watching as Gerard panicked for a moment.

He was too high to argue though, so he let his head fall against Frank's shoulder in defeat, whimpering about how badly he needed Frank.

"Fuck-" Frank breathed out as Gerard pushed his hips against Frank's, alerting him to just how badly Gerard wanted him. "O-Okay, fuck, yeah-"

He grabbed Gerard's hand and practically dragged him into his room, but the second they entered the threshold, Gerard had him pushed up against the wall, ready to give him the greatest lap dance of his life.

He kissed him first, his tongue forcing its way inside Frank's mouth as he undid Frank's belt, pulling his baggy jeans down around his thighs.

Gerard liked being in control, especially as he turned around and pressed his ass against Frank's crotch, causing the other man to grunt lowly and push forward.

Frank could only watch with half lidded eyes as Gerard moved his ass skillfully against his crotch, Frank's hands absentmindedly reaching down for his hips, holding them softly as they moved.

"Fuck, baby." Frank groaned, letting the pet name slip as his head fell back against the wall. "So fucking hot."

Gerard whimpered as he rolled his ass back, shivering as he felt Frank's hard cock rubbing against him through the thin material.

Frank hummed quietly as he pulled Gerard's upper body against his chest, his lips instantly going for the side of Gerard's neck as his hands slowly trailed down Gerard's body, palming him roughly through the skirt.

"Ah-" Gerard moaned, moving his hips more roughly against Frank's now. "Yes- fuck-"

This is what Gerard had been craving, this was finally giving him some form of satisfaction.

Frank didn't really do more than kiss his neck and palm him though, and Gerard waited anxiously for Frank to take control like he had last time.

Gerard waited for it, but it never happened, Frank just kept encouraging him, leaving Gerard to act on instinct.

He couldn't just keep rubbing his ass against Frank, that was going to get boring, and since Frank never took over, Gerard turned around and improvised.

He improvised by kissing him, his hands running against Frank's front, blindly unbuttoning his shirt.

"That's it-" Frank groaned as Gerard relocated his lips to his neck, his hands slipping behind Gerard to grasp the back of his thighs, slowly trailing up under the skirt, his fingernails digging into the plump flesh harshly as he pushed his hips forward. "Fuck-"

Gerard whimpered and fell forward against Frank, the desire for him causing Gerard's knees to buckle.

"Frank..." Gerard begged, urging Frank to take control. "Please..."

It was becoming clear Gerard didn't know what he was supposed to be doing, so Frank raised his hands up on Gerard's shoulders, pressing down until Gerard got the message to lower onto his knees.

Gerard knew what Frank wanted then, and was confident enough to pull down Frank's boxers, practically gasping at how hard and swollen Frank was; his lap dance paid off, he thought, as he slowly started pumping him.

Frank groaned as his head fell back against the wall, his fingers tangling in Gerard's hair as he waited eagerly for what was about to come.

Gerard didn't disappoint, and within seconds his lips were around the tip, his tongue circling it gently before digging into the slit.

Frank just relaxed against the wall and let Gerard do his thing, his actions slow and shy at first, but quickly becoming more confident as he bobbed his head up and down, sucking as hard as he could manage, his hand working the parts of Frank he couldn't handle.

"Fuck..." Frank groaned out, letting his head fall forward so he could watch. "Your pretty little mouth feels so good-"

Gerard looked up at him then, his wide innocent eyes locking with Frank's as he tried to speed up his movements.

Frank's stomach clenched at the sight, his hips pushing forward absentmindedly, causing Gerard's beautiful hazel eyes to water as he gagged.

He didn't try to pull away though, so Frank kept up the slow movements with his hips, gently pushing himself further and further down Gerard's throat.

Tears were streaming down Gerard's face at this point, but it was from pleasure, not pain; he couldn't believe how good the action felt, and his eyes fluttered closed on instinct, his hands lifting to rest against the wall on either side of Frank, keeping himself grounded.

Seeing Gerard enjoying it almost felt better than the actual action itself, and Frank could feel that knot in his stomach growing by the second.

He didn't want to stop yet, but as Gerard reached between his legs and moaned against him, Frank knew he had to pull away.

"Fuck-" Frank spoke through clenched teeth, pulling Gerard off of him. "Come here-"

Frank pulled Gerard to his feet then, their lips meeting in a slippery kiss as Frank kicked off his pants and boxers completely, shrugging his shirt off as he pushed Gerard towards the bed.

Gerard stumbled as Frank turned them around last minute, causing him to fall on top of Frank on the bed.

"Skirt- off-" Frank panted, scooting up the bed as Gerard raised himself onto his knees.

Gerard complied as quickly as possible, pulling down the little zipper before tugging the tight material down his legs, eventually kicking them off.

"Fuck-" Frank whined, his toes curling as he clutched the bed sheet desperately, his eyes locked on the tight pink underwear with little bows. "So- fuck, come here-"

Gerard crawled over him instantly, gasping as Frank's hands reached behind him, pulling their bodies together as Frank's hands roamed everywhere possible.

It was a mess of grinding and moaning, but everything came to a halt as Frank leaned up to whisper in Gerard's ear.

"Fuck me."

"What?" Gerard stammered out, pulling away to gaze down at Frank. "I can't-"

"Please-" Frank was the one begging now, his hands holding Gerard's hips tightly. "I want it so bad- fuck, I need it."

It was like Gerard's whole world had changed into needing to please Frank, so if this is what he wanted, this is what Gerard would give him.

"O-Okay." He nodded, barely blinking before Frank had grabbed a condom and lube out of his bed side table.

"Been thinking about it since you left-" Frank confessed quietly, groaning more loudly as he pulled down the pink underwear. "Thinking about how you'd feel.."

"Fuck..." Gerard breathed out as Frank wrapped his hand around his dick, pumping slowly.

Gerard had anticipated being fucked, not fucking, and he was at a loss for what to do right now.

Frank seemed to realize that though, because he was pulling the condom on over Gerard, covering him in the lube as quickly as he could.

"I-I don't know what to do-" Gerard stuttered out, shifting his body so he could remove his underwear completely.

"In and out, simple, you can do it, come on, baby." Frank spread his legs, lifting his hips up the perfect amount so Gerard could line up; but Gerard didn't, he stayed still, his mind still confused and cautious.

"W-What about fingers?" He questioned shakily, even though he really wanted to push into Frank. "You said it would hurt without them-"

"It will." Frank groaned, throwing his head back in frustration. "Fuck, I want it to- please, fuck me, hard-"

"Y-You'll tell me if it hurts too bad?"

Gerard was going off of what Frank had done to him, and even though the gesture was sweet, Frank was about to lose his fucking mind.

"Yes- fuck, just do it!" Frank practically cried out, startling Gerard back into movement.

Gerard was still pretty high, so it took him a moment to actually line up with Frank, but the second he did Frank had his legs wrapped around Gerard's waist, pulling him in all at once.

"Ah- fuck!" Frank cried out, his thighs trembling around Gerard's body. "F-Fuck, you feel better than I imagined-" He panted, wrapping his arms around Gerard's body, his fingernails digging harshly into his back.

Gerard couldn't hear a fucking thing he said though, all he could hear was this loud ringing in his ears as the pleasure rocked him to his very core.

His body moved on its own will then, pounding into Frank as hard as he could, causing the other to scream out, squirming desperately under him as Gerard kept him pinned down against the bed.

This was unlike anything Gerard had ever experienced, he felt like a completely different person as he growled against Frank's neck, sucking and biting at the skin, wanting to leave as many marks as possible, so he could look at them later and remember this moment.

Frank was clawing so harshly at Gerard's back that it was starting to bleed, and the pain was distracting to Gerard, so he grabbed Frank's hands, pinning them above his head.

Frank loved that even more though, he loved knowing that the shy Gerard he knew was doing this to him, he loved fighting against the hold even though he knew he couldn't overpower it.

"Ah, fuck- just like that-" Frank groaned, his back arching off the bed as Gerard pushed in at just the right angle. "Shit- please-"

Gerard didn't know how hot Frank begging would be, he never let the thought of him topping cross his mind, all he thought about was Frank on top of him, not the other way around.

Gerard had never felt so high in his entire life, he felt it everywhere, from his head all the way down to his toes; he never wanted this feeling to stop, and he never wanted Frank to stop calling out his name.

The sounds Frank was making was pushing Gerard closer and closer, but he didn't want it to end yet, so he had to silence those sounds.

He chose to with his own mouth, covering Frank's with it, forcing his tongue deep into Frank's mouth, exploring everywhere he could while his hips continued to snap forward.

Frank just laid there and took it, his eyes lolling back as he basked in the feeling of Gerard's tongue against his, the dominant nature making his mind go fuzzy.

Eventually Gerard's rough motions softened, just slightly, to help pull him back from the edge, he wasn't ready for it to be over yet and he was going to hold off as long as possible.

"Frank-" He panted out as he broke the kiss, resting his forehead against Frank's. "F-Fuck, this feels so good-"

Frank could have came just by the sound of Gerard's voice, or the way his face scrunched up a bit each time he pushed in.

However the slower movements kept him from that, and it made him frustrated.

"Gerard, faster, please-"

"Don't wanna come yet-" Gerard panted softly, leaning his head down to nibble at the bruises he made moments before.

"Fuck, I need to, please-"

Gerard tried so hard to resist, but Frank begging and desperately bucking his hips up against him was too much, and before he knew it his body was moving at its own will again.

"Fuck-" Gerard moaned as he released Frank's hands from above his head, needing his hands to support himself over Frank.

He suddenly became really tired, the drugs had worn off completely at this point, and his lack of food today was catching up with him.

He wasn't going to stop though, he was going to push through until he made Frank come; However, Frank noticed the sudden exhaustion, and was almost grateful for it.

"Gerard-" Frank groaned, pressing his hands against Gerard's chest. "Get on your back-"

Again, Gerard was all for pleasing Frank, so he let Frank push him onto his back, not even having time to question what he was doing before he was pushing back down on Gerard's dick.

"Relax." Frank instructed, placing his hands flat on Gerard's chest as he began rolling his hips quickly, keeping Gerard pressed in deeply as he moved. "Fuck-"

"Oh god-" Gerard stuttered out, his hands shakily reaching for Frank's hips, pulling him down with each jerk of his hips. "Shit-"

The new position had Gerard all that much deeper inside of Frank, and when Frank eventually started moving up and down, Gerard's arms went limp at his sides, the pleasure short circuiting his brain. 

"A-Ah fuck-" Frank trembled, arching his back to get a better angle. "I'm gonna come- oh god," he leaned back, his hands gripping Gerard's thighs as he steadied himself, increasing his speed against Gerard.

That sentence had Gerard's hand moving forward again, curling around Frank's leaking cock, pumping him quickly in time with his movements.

"Please-" Frank begged, his nails digging into Gerard's thighs. "Faster- oh fuck, fuck, fuck!" His pleas ended in a high pitch whine, his cock pulsating wildly as he came all over Gerard's hand.

The sight had Gerard's eyes widening, and before he knew it he was coming too, a silent cry leaving his lips as he threw his head back.

They both stilled for a moment, catching their breath before Frank slowly pulled off, collapsing next to Gerard with a satisfied sigh. 

Gerard didn't really know what to do next after that, but he did know he wanted to take the condom off, because that shit didn't feel good.

Luckily Frank had a trash bin close by, so he lazily tossed it into that.

He didn't tie it off, but in his defense, he didn't know what the fuck he was doing.

Frank wasn't saying anything, he was just lying there breathing heavily, and since last time Gerard left right away, he tried to do it again, before the situation became awkward.

"Wait-" Frank spoke as Gerard stood up, sensing he was trying to leave. "Stay."

"W-Why?" Gerard questioned timidly, standing up from the bed anyways. "You're done."

"I don't want you here to get me off." Frank laughed quietly, scooting closer to the edge of the bed, reaching his hand out for Gerard. "I want you here because I kinda like you."

Gerard's entire body blushed when he heard those words leave Frank's lips, he had been tearing him apart inside because of how badly he wanted Frank to want him, and now Frank had said those exact words.

"Really?" Gerard questioned timidly, a small smile on his lips as he bit his bottom one. "You want me to stay?"

"I really want you to stay." Frank grinned, still holding out his hand. "Besides, it's late... you're much safer here with me.."

Gerard couldn't wipe off the smile as he accepted Frank's hand, crawling into bed with him as Frank surprised him with a kiss.

"Can I still kiss you?" Frank grinned, his hand caressing the side of Gerard's face as the other let out a quiet giggle. "No business strings attached, just because I like kissing you?"

"Okay." Gerard bit his lip, letting Frank slowly climb on top of him, his body weight keeping him against the bed. "C-Can we do other things... just because we like them?"

"I'd like that." Frank mumbled, leaning down to connect their lips. "What do you want to do?"

Gerard grinned to himself, but his attention was quickly pulled when he noticed the drugs on Frank's dresser.

He wanted a line... fuck, he wanted to have sex with Frank after taking it; if having sex with cocaine in your system felt as good as jerking off did, he needed to experience that.

"C-Can I have a line? Just one?"

Frank wanted to say no, but he was kind of afraid to.

He knew addicts got violent when they didn't get what they wanted, and he didn't want something like that to ruin their night.

One line wouldn't hurt, he wouldn't even be high that long.

"Okay." Frank nodded, watching Gerard's eyes light up before he practically jumped off the bed. "B-But I'm not giving it to you because of what we just did, you don't need to sell yourself like that."

"Okay." Gerard responded absentmindedly, not even hearing what he said. "You've got a razor blade?"

"Just use my drivers license, its the best I got." Frank tossed him his wallet then, watching as he eagerly took out the card.

"You want one?" Gerard questioned as he started cutting it.

"No, I don't use."

"Oh, come on." Gerard smiled, carrying the book he was using to cut the line on over to Frank. "It's so fun, seriously, do a line with me."

"No, Gerard."

Frank knew how those little white lines could ruin your life, he knew so well that he wanted to stop Gerard from doing it; he couldn't though, it wasn't his place.

Maybe if they got closer he could convince Gerard to quit, but for right now, it wasn't his place.

"Just one, come on-"

"No."

Gerard let out a huff before pulling a bill out of Frank's wallet, rolling it up before situating himself comfortably to snort it.

"Your loss." He mumbled to himself, leaning down with the bill to his nose, inhaling sharply as the little white powder disappeared from the book. "F-Fuck."

Frank watched nervously as the drug hit Gerard, unsure of how he acted while high.

Luckily for Frank though all it made Gerard was horny, and now that Gerard was clearly interested in having sex with Frank no matter what, he didn't let the drugs stop him from letting things escalate.

"Fuck yeah." Gerard let out a giggle as he wiped his nose, brushing all the items off of the bed and onto the floor. "I get so fucking horny when I'm high." He giggled again, crawling over Frank. "I fuckin'- jerked off so many times yesterday to you." He fell against Frank then, his face against his neck, nipping softly. "A-and like, now you're here, and fuck you feel so good- better than the drugs-"

Frank didn't think he was going to be able to get hard again so fast, but despite all odd's he felt himself hardening at the dirty things Gerard was whispering to him.

"Wanna take you from behind, pin you against the bed, make you scream-"

Gerard was so much more open when he was high, which Frank had to admit was an advantage to the drug use.

The confidence was so hot to him, the shyness was cute, but the confidence was hot as hell.

"Do it." Frank breathed out, reaching his hand between them, stroking himself in an attempt to get hard faster.

"Can I?" Gerard giggled, already hard thanks to the drugs.

It was like instant fucking Viagra to him.

"Yes, please." Frank nodded eagerly, bucking his hips up against Gerard's body, the contact leaving him groaning softly.

"Fuck yeah." Gerard exhaled excitedly, pulling away so Frank could grab another condom. "Can I take these off?" He questioned as he fiddled with the ruffled up fishnets.

"Whatever you want." Frank spoke as he reached inside his bedside table, grateful he had purchased a new box of condoms recently.

After breaking up with his girlfriend he had planned to pick up random people at the bar, he had planned to whore out his anger.

Gerard was better than what he had in mind though, and honestly when Gerard was around Frank could barely remember his ex girlfriends name.

Frank wanted to request something, especially now that Gerard was high and probably wouldn't remember it all; it was something he had always wanted to try, but was too afraid to admit to anyone.

That and he had been with a girl for the past two years, that made it impossible as well.

"Gerard?" He questioned as Gerard pulled off the fishnets. "You wanna pin me to the bed?"

"Fuck yeah." Gerard smirked, leaning back towards Frank after the fishnets were on the floor. "Make you scream again."

"Fuck-" Frank shivered. "I- don't stop if I fight it..."

"Fight it?" Gerard frowned, pulling back to sit down on the mattress. "Why would you do that?"

Frank didn't want to admit he wanted to be over powered, he didn't want to admit he wanted to be forced, but fuck, he loved that feeling.

He hadn't had that feeling in a long time, he was always the dominant one with his girlfriend, he missed someone being dominant with him.

"I like it..." He whispered. "I like being helpless.."

"That sounds rapey." Gerard tilted his head to the side, trying to figure out what Frank was getting at, and failing considering his mind was running a mile a minute.

"Don't judge me." Frank pleaded, trying to keep in mind Gerard hopefully would forget about this.

"So like pretend rape?" Gerard furrowed his eyebrows together, trying to figure out how the confident rough Frank from the other day was now requesting this, he wasn't judging, he was just confused. "Okay but what if you want to stop?"

"I won't say stop unless I want to... so if I say stop, then I'm done, but everything else ignore it."

"Okay..." Gerard narrowed his eyes, still trying to process this. "So like even if you say stuff like 'no' I keep going?"

"Please." Frank nodded eagerly, tearing open the condom package, and helping Gerard put it on properly.

Gerard grinned to himself once he processed everything, the thought of overpowering Frank was actually extremely appealing to him.

"Turn around."

Frank complied instantly, his heart hammering in his chest as he pressed his whole body against the mattress.

Gerard had his body over Frank's within seconds, his lips against the back of Frank's neck as he ground down softly against him.

Frank was already trembling, the thought of what was about to happen, topped with the feeling of Gerard grinding against his ass had him fully hard, leaking even against the mattress.

"Please.." Frank whimpered softly, pressing his ass back against Gerard. "Fuck me."

Gerard groaned as he pulled away, grabbing the bottle of lube before he quickly covered himself in it, desperate for the connection.

Never in a million years would he picture himself in this situation, a beautiful man laid out in front of him, pushing his ass back, begging for Gerard.

It all happened so fast then- Gerard forcing his way inside Frank without warning, his weight instantly pinning Frank down while he cried out loudly.

Frank didn't 'fight back' right away, he was too lost in the sensation of being way too full again.

Gerard shifted his body a bit, spreading his legs on either side of Frank, making it easier for him as he slowly started movement.

That's when Frank's mind clicked to what he really wanted out of this, and he began pushing back against Gerard, attempting to get out from under him.

"Fuck off!" Frank squirmed against him, Gerard's body preventing any serious movement from him. "Fuck-"

Gerard almost pulled away, this whole situation confusing the fuck out of his fried brain, but then he remembered Frank had said to only stop if he said 'stop', which he hadn't, so Gerard just forced himself deeper, pushing Frank's upper body back against the bed with his own chest.

"No." He growled against Frank's neck, hoping that was what Frank wanted.

By the sound that left Frank's lips afterwards, it was pretty clear it was exactly what he wanted.

Frank hadn't expected Gerard to speak the role, but fuck, he was so glad he was.

"Please-" Frank begged, attempting to use his arms to push Gerard away.

Gerard wasn't having that though, so he slipped his own arms beneath Frank's arms, pulling his shoulders back and preventing all movement completely.

"Fuck!" Frank cried out loudly, pushing his face into his pillow as his lower half still fought against Gerard.

That part made it better for the both of them, it forced Gerard all that much deeper, causing both of them to moan loudly into the air.

"Fuck, Frank-" Gerard breathed out as he settled his head on Frank's shoulder, his head tilted so his breath was hot against Frank's neck. "So fucking good-"

Frank was practically drooling as he felt the tickle of Gerard's hot breath on his neck, a few moments later Gerard's teeth as well, scraping against the skin as he bit down softly.

His motions were pretty much stilled at this point, Gerard had his body completely pinned against the bed now, ceasing all of his movements while Gerard fucked him ruthlessly from behind.

Frank was definitely drooling then, the constant sounds of pleasure forcing his mouth open the whole time, the pleasure being too much for him to care.

"H-Harder-" Frank groaned, tilting his head. "Bite me harder-"

There was no way Gerard was going to deny him of anything, Frank could have called him daddy or some shit and he'd still be on board with it.

"Gah- fuck!" Frank cried out, his hips rutting forwards against the mattress as he felt himself getting close. "I'm gonna come-"

It was like those words were a spell to make the other come, because the second those words left Frank's lips Gerard felt his orgasm about to hit him like a train.

"Come." Gerard growled, releasing Frank's upper body so he could prop himself up with his hands, making it possible for him to increase the speed of his movements. "Come right fucking now-" He grabbed a fist full of Frank's hair then, straining his neck back harshly.

That was it for Frank, he fucking flew over the edge as he came against the mattress, the strain against his neck causing his cry of pleasure to be choked out.

Frank clenching desperately around Gerard was what sent him over the edge a few moments later, his upper body collapsing back onto Frank as he slowly rode out his high inside of him.

"Shit, fuck-" Gerard sighed, eventually pulling out and tossing the condom. "Wow-"

The exhaustion was too much for Gerard at that point, his eyes refused to stay open as his head hit the pillow, and before he could even try anything else, he was asleep.

"Holy fuck." Frank panted as he turned over onto his back, laughing quietly when he noticed Gerard had passed out. "Fuck."

It took him several moments to catch his breath, but when he finally did, he realized how thirsty he was.

So with an aching body, he pulled himself to his feet, stretching out his shoulders that had cramped up in Gerard's hold.

That was all worth it though, Frank hadn't experienced an orgasm that intense in a long time, way before he had gotten with his ex.

Being both dominant and submissive was wonderful, but it sucked when you were in relationship with someone who only swung one way.

He had both ways with Gerard, and he hadn't felt this content in a really long time.

The drugs were still out in the open at that point, and even though Gerard was asleep, Frank decided to lock them up, just in case.

He didn't want Gerard getting into them, especially because he had some harder things he'd rather Gerard never know about.

Cocaine was bad, but heroin, heroin ruined lives faster than you could blink.

Frank didn't even like selling the shit, but he had been desperately in need of the money at the time, so he agreed to deal it for a few months.

Those few months were almost up though, thank fuck for that, Frank didn't like being the one to supply the life ruining drug.

Again, cocaine was bad, but it didn't always ruin lives, heroin always ruined lives.

He patted into his living room then, needing to pass through the room to get into the kitchen, when he heard a quiet buzzing sound.

It was coming from the coat Gerard was wearing, the one he had left on the living room floor before they went into the bedroom.

The buzzing wouldn't stop either, it would for a few moments at most, but then it would start up again.

It was clearly a phone, but Frank realized if whoever was calling was constantly calling, it must of been important.

Frank just wanted to check, he wasn't trying to snoop in Gerard's phone, but again, it could be important.

"Mikey."

Is what the contact name read, and under it had the symbol for over 20 missed calls.

A wave of anger flared through Frank then, assuming the caller was Gerard's boyfriend who he must of 'forgotten' to mention.

Who else would call Gerard this many times at that hour?

Frank had to know, so he hit answer the next time Mikey called.

"Gerard? Fuck, where are you? Are you okay?"

"Who's this?" Frank questioned, narrowing his eyes at nothing.

"W-What, who is this?" Mikey questioned nervously. "Is Gerard okay?"

"Who's asking?" Frank's eyes narrowed even more, beginning his plot to murder Gerard if this was in fact his boyfriend.

Frank had just been cheated on for fucks sake, he didn't want to be the participant of that horrible act with someone else.

"Mikey-" Mikey rushed out, still fearing the worse. "Please, where's my brother?"

"Brother?" Frank breathed out, his body visibly relaxing at that information. "Not boyfriend?"

"No, what, Gerard doesn't have a boyfriend?" Mikey sounded confused then, but that vanished quickly when he remembered he still didn't know if Gerard was okay or not. "Who are you? Why do you have his phone? Is he okay?"

Gerard always came home at night, no matter what, so the later it got without his return, the more nervous Mikey grew.

"Oh, right, Gerard is fine." Frank assured, just now registering the panic in the mans voice. "I'm his uh, friend, Frank, he's crashing here for the night."

"Oh thank god." Mikey sighed after finally hearing 'Gerard is fine'. "H-He hasn't taken anything has he? I- I don't know how well you know my brother but he has a lot of dangerous habits-"

"He's fine." Frank assured, not mentioning the line of coke Gerard had done. "He just fell asleep... said he had a long day or something." 

"Has he eaten anything?" Mikey questioned again. "Sometimes he forgets to eat and then he gets sick."

Frank thought back to while they were having sex, Gerard did seem to get exhausted really fast, that had to be a sign of lack of food.

"I don't think so, but hey, I'll make him something to eat real quick and when I wake him up I'll have him call you."

"Oh, thank you." Mikey sighed, sounding like a boulder was lifted off his chest. "I'm just so worried about him."

"No worries... I'll have him call you soon."

They hung up after that, and Frank wandered into the kitchen, feeling guilty as fuck.

The cocaine was obviously hurting more than just Gerard; his brother had sounded so worried over the phone, that was probably a daily occurrence for him, and it was Frank's fault for supplying Gerard with the substance.

He tried to rationalize that Gerard would get it either way, and that it wasn't his fault, he hadn't even been the one who introduced Gerard to it.

It's not my fault, Frank replayed over and over in his head while he made Gerard a sandwich, pouring a bit of potato chips on the side of his plate.

He tried to add as much food as possible, because if Gerard had forgotten to eat today, he'd need these calories.

Eventually he was back in the room, a plate in one hand and a soda in the other.

"Gerard." He whispered, sitting at the edge of the bed. "Gerard, wake up."

Gerard grumbled angrily in his sleep before finally opening his eyes, but when he finally realized where he was, he startled, eyes darting around the room as he pulled the blankets up over his naked body.

He seemed guarded, but that slowly dissipated when he realized Frank was naked too, and soon everything clicked in his head.

"Oh, hi." Gerard mumbled awkwardly, avoiding Frank's eye contact.

"I made you some food." Frank smiled, lifting the plate in Gerard's line of vision. "And brought you a soda."

"Why?" Gerard frowned, finally making eye contact with Frank.

"I thought you might be hungry." Frank shrugged, letting go of the plate as Gerard accepted it. "Kinda needed it after that.."

"Do you want me to go home?" Gerard questioned timidly, wondering how serious Frank was when he said he wanted Gerard to stay.

"Not even a little bit." Frank smiled. "I was serious when I said I wanted you here."

"Okay..." Gerard mumbled, unsure of what else to say as he took a bite of his sandwich. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Frank smiled again, trying to ease the discomfort Gerard was feeling. "So uh, I hope you don't mind, but earlier your phone kept going off so I answered it..."

"What did Mikey want?" Gerard groaned, clearly already annoyed with the topic.

"How do you know it was Mikey?"

"Mikey is the only one who calls me." Gerard shrugged. "Or talks to me, for that matter."

That broke Frank's heart knowing how alone Gerard must be, but he didn't let that interfere with what the original topic was.

"Why do you sound so annoyed?" Frank couldn't help but ask, Mikey had seemed so concerned about Gerard, whereas Gerard didn't even want to say the guys name.

"Because fuck him." Gerard mumbled around his sandwich, his stomach demanding the food that was now presented to him. "Always trying to change me, 'you shouldn't drink that much' 'you shouldn't do drugs' blah blah blah." Gerard rolled his eyes, taking another bite. "Like, fuck you, leave me alone."

There was more guilt then, Frank felt so fucking guilty at what the drugs he sold Gerard was doing.

Frank didn't want to get preachy though, he knew if he backed Mikey, which he really wanted to do right now, Gerard would resort against him, just like he had Mikey.

Frank knew he wanted to convince Gerard to get sober then, but he knew he'd have to take a different approach at it.

He had to make Gerard want to get sober, he had to convince him it was all his idea.

Frank knew how drug addicts thought, he dealt with them everyday, and if he were to say 'you should quit drugs' Gerard would retaliate against him.

"Could you let him know you're okay, though?" Frank questioned instead, grabbing Gerard's phone, which he had placed on the bedside table. "He's really worried."

"Ugh." Gerard groaned, part of him knowing Mikey deserved at least that. "Fine."

He snatched the phone out of Frank's grip angrily then, hitting the contact with even less enthusiasm before holding it up to his ear.

"Gerard?"

"I'm fine, stop calling."

"Gerard, please just-"

Gerard hung up the phone before Mikey could finish, then he tossed it across the room so he wouldn't be bothered with it again.

"Thanks for the sandwich." Gerard smiled at Frank, who was looking at him with full on concern at this point.

"Yeah..." Frank mumbled, looking down at the plate that looked like a vacuum had gone over it.

He realized Gerard truly was hungry then, and realized he probably needed more than a sandwich.

"I have more food, if you wanna go look, you can help yourself."

"Really?" Gerard's face lit up at that. "O-Okay, uh, do you by chance have some clothes I could put on?"

Frank was still naked himself, preferring the lack of clothing, but understood why Gerard didn't feel the same way and quickly grabbed a pair of sweats and a loose T-shirt for him.

"Thanks." Gerard smiled at him, pulling the clothing on under the blankets.

Frank couldn't get over the fact that Gerard was being so nice to him, but was so extremely rude to his brother.

He understood it, he supposed, he just wished it hadn't been that way, and hoped he didn't say the wrong thing and end up in Mikey's position.

He wanted to help Gerard, but one wrong move could put him on Gerard's bad list forever.

He sighed while he watched Gerard rummage through his food, knowing damn well he was gaining feelings for the other man; he knew how dangerous this was though, caring about a drug addict could tear you apart.

But as Gerard turned and smiled at Frank, he knew that was a risk he was willing to take.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was never posted for some reason!! oops!

Frank wanted to meet Mikey without going behind Gerard's back, so in the morning he convinced Gerard to let him drive him home.

He also convinced Gerard to go out to lunch with him, which resulted in a conversation that pulled at Frank's heart strings.

"Why would you want to go out into public with me?" Gerard had asked, his shameful eyes away from Frank, the self consciousness at full force now that he was sober.

Frank simply replied with the fact that he liked Gerard, and because of that he didn't care what anyone else thought.

Gerard had smiled shyly to himself after that, finally agreeing and following Frank out to his car.

He didn't have any clothes though, he was wearing Frank's from the night before, so they had to stop by his house to get him something to wear that fit properly.

"Ignore my brother, okay?" Gerard mumbled as they pulled up in front of his house. "He's kinda an asshole."

"Don't worry about it." Frank smiled at him, hoping to wipe the grumpy scold off his face. "I've dealt with worse, trust me."

He was a drug dealer after all, he had dealt with the lowest of lows.

Gerard didn't really respond, he just climbed out of the car, dreading the meeting of Frank and Mikey.

Mikey would probably try to convince Frank to urge him to get sober, which is something he didn't want; he liked Frank, if Frank tried to change him he would have to cut him out of his life, he refused to be around people who didn't accept him.

That's why he didn't have any friends, they all wanted to change him, he hated that; wasn't he good enough the way he was? Didn't they like him for him?

Frank did, Frank knew he did drugs and still wanted to spend time with him, and that meant the world to Gerard.

"Gerard!" Mikey gasped as they walked in the door, rushing over to him and pulling him into a hug, which Gerard tried to resist. "I was so worried-"

"Mikey stop." Gerard pushed him away, grabbing Frank's hand and dragging him upstairs, away from Mikey who was left in the living room with a defeated sigh.

Mikey just wanted his big brother back, that's all.

"Sorry about the mess." Gerard apologized as he opened his door, and Frank had to hold his breath at the stench that came with it. "Haven't had time to clean.."

The pile of puke and cum covered by a towel was still there, although Frank didn't know what was under it; along with piles of dirty clothes, empty beer bottles, and old food.

"That's okay." Frank tried to smile, resisting the urge to open the window on his wall, in an attempt to relieve some of the horrible smell.

All of Gerard's clothes were on the floor, and he searched desperately through them until he found a pair that didn't reek too badly.

Now that Frank was around he might actually attempt to do laundry, he usually didn't care if he smelled like BO or cigarette smoke, but he didn't want to if Frank was going to be near him.

"Hey, uh, if you wanted to shower, that would be cool, I'm fine waiting in here." Frank spoke as Gerard started to change, trying to stall so he could go meet Mikey without upsetting Gerard. "We just worked up a sweat last night, you know?"

Frank had showered himself that morning before Gerard woke up, they did smell pretty bad after all that.

"Oh, um, okay." Gerard nodded shyly, not really wanting to take a shower, but willing to if that's what Frank wanted. "I'll be back in like ten minutes then."

He wandered off into the bathroom then, and as soon as Frank heard the shower turn on he rushed downstairs, breathing heavily as he finally had breathable air.

"Mikey?" He called out softly, wondering where the taller man had gone, considering he wasn't in the living room.

He came out from the kitchen then though, his eyes confused.

"Where's my brother?"

"He's in the shower... I wanted to meet you." Frank confessed quietly. "I- I want to help Gerard."

A look of relief settled over Mikey's face, and they both moved over to the couch to sit down.

"It smells like someone died up there." Frank cringed, unable to get the stench out of his nose.

"Someone did." Mikey mumbled, his eyes sad. "My big brother did."

Figuratively speaking of course, but it still made Frank's heart twist uncomfortably.

"How do you even know him?" Mikey continued. "Gerard doesn't make friends... and he definitely doesn't stay the night with people-" His sentence suddenly cut off, his eyes landing on the dark hickeys that were barely visibly on the side of Frank's neck. His eyes widened in anger then, realizing Frank must've taken advantage of Gerard. "What did you do!?" 

He stood up then, towering over Frank as he quickly stood up too, trying to explain himself before he ended up with a black eye.

"I- I didn't take advantage of him, I swear-" 

"He's a drug addict! He can't make logical decisions like that!" Mikey fumed, his face red with anger. "His mind isn't clear- and you just used him!"

"Please, let me explain-" Frank pleaded, trying to calm Mikey down before Gerard heard him. "Please..."

Mikey let out an angry breath before falling back onto the couch, his arms crossed while he muttered 'good luck'.

"Look- I made sure he was sober when it happened," that was only kinda a lie. "I- I made sure so many times that he wanted it, and made it clear he could stop whenever he wanted-"

Mikey still looked angry, but he made eye contact with Frank then, which was a good sign.

There was no way Frank would go into detail on how it started, especially considering the fact that Gerard would never trust him after that, and well Mikey would definitely accuse him of using his brother, because, well, he kinda did the first time.

"Look, I like your brother, I want to help him, please, let me try." Frank pleaded again, hoping his face and voice showed his sincerity. "I have experience with this, I know how to make it work."

"I've tried everything." Mikey muttered in defeat, not believing Frank would have anymore luck than he did. "How do you expect to help him?"

Mikey was still pissed about the sex thing, but Gerard seemed to like Frank from what Mikey had seen, so if Frank was willing to try and help Gerard, Mikey decided he'd have to suck it up and listen to the guy.

"We have to make him want to get clean himself, we want to make him believe it was his idea in the first place..." Frank tried to explain, not sure which words to use. "If we tell him to get clean, he'll block us and the idea out completely, then we won't be able to even try."

Mikey nodded weakly at that, knowing all too well that's what he had done.

"Please, just, let me try." Frank pleaded, even though he didn't really need his blessing. 

"You promise he wanted it?" Mikey mumbled then, his gaze on his lap as he couldn't fight off the images of his brother being hurt. "I didn't... I didn't think he did those things."

After learning his brother was having sex, he feared the worst; he feared Gerard sleeping around with strangers, not being safe, ending up with diseases and pain.

Of course he wanted help getting Gerard sober, but there was no way he would allow someone who took advantage of his brother to do it again and again, not without a fight at least.

"I promise on my life." Frank answered honestly, his hand over his heart in an attempt to show his sincerity. "And he didn't... he told me it was his first time." 

Mikey let out a breath at that, one of his fears dissipating. 

Although he realized Gerard wasn't a very sexual person, and that he would need something to influence those actions, and since Frank said he was sober, Mikey wondered what that influence was.

Sober could have meant different things, sober could have just meant not high, and while he thought about that, his heart ached at the thought that Gerard might have lost his virginity in a drunken mess.

"Please tell me it wasn't a drunk encounter." Mikey begged, wanting the very best for his big brother. "Please tell me it was at least somewhat special for him?"

"He was completely sober." Frank assured. "A-And once I learned it was his first time, I tried to make it special, I promise."

Mikey just sighed, the only thoughts running through his head being that he wanted better for his brother- not that Frank was bad, but he wanted the perfect life for Gerard, he wanted Gerard to fall in love before that happened, he wanted Gerard to live life how he was suppose to.

"How do I help?" Mikey finally spoke, looking back at Frank.

"J-Just, don't nag him about getting clean, it'll only make him want to go against it, and he won't even consider it if that's all he's thinking about."

"Okay..." Mikey mumbled. "I'm trusting you with this..."

"Here, we can even exchange numbers so we can be in contact, it's the only way we can talk without pissing off Gerard."

Mikey nodded and they swapped phones, entering their numbers into it before exchanging back.

It was perfect timing too, because a few moments later Gerard walked into the room.

"What are you doing?" Gerard crossed his arms at the two, already suspicious about them planning an intervention or something.

"Hey," Frank greeted with a smile, trying to seem casual. "I just got thirsty, and Mikey got me a drink."

Gerard still looked suspicious, but he didn't push it, mostly because he wanted to leave the house and be away from Mikey.

"Can we go now?" Gerard mumbled in reply, his arms unfolding and falling at his sides.

"Of course, baby." Frank smiled at him, missing the way Gerard's cheeks turned bright red at the name as he turned to send Mikey a goodbye glance.

They interlocked hands as Frank stood up then, a small smile on Gerard's face as they walked towards the door.

Mikey noticed the smile though, and his heart beamed when he realized it was the first real smile he had seen from Gerard in a long, long, time.

"I- can I kiss you, Frankie?" Gerard mumbled as soon as the front door was closed, the simple pet name Frank had used causing him to fill with affection.

"You can kiss me any time you want." Frank grinned, stopping in his tracks on the front porch to face Gerard.

Gerard smiled shyly before slowly leaning in, his lips pressing against Frank's hesitantly before the other pulled him against him.

A quiet giggle vibrated through the kiss as Gerard fell into Frank, the action having his whole body tingling with happiness.

Mikey witnessed the whole thing from the living room window, he even heard the quiet giggle that left Gerard's lips.

He hadn't heard Gerard make a sound as happy as that in a long time, so despite his nervous feeling, he decided Frank had to be good for him, he was already making him smile, after all.

-

How to convince Gerard to want to get clean was practically presented to Frank on a silver platter while they ate lunch at a nice cafe.

One of his regulars, Bruce, had texted him asking if he could buy some more drugs later that afternoon.

Bruce was what you would call a rock bottom addict, he had lost his wife, his home, his job, his friends, everything he ever had, due to the drugs.

It was very clear in his appearance as well, he was sickly skinny, his skin sunken in, dirty, his eyes were dull... it was a scary thing for anyone to see, but if Gerard saw it, it might just change his mind on how he felt about the drugs.

Maybe if he saw how shitty Bruce's life was, he'd realize he needed to get his shit together, and hopefully he'd agree to try and get sober.

It was a better method than tying him up and locking him in a room for several days until his body didn't crave the substance anymore, which was Frank's 'if all else fails' plan.

That was also slightly illegal though, so he was glad this plan had presented itself.

"Thank you for buying me lunch." Gerard bit his lip as they waited for the food, thinking of all the ways he could really thank Frank for it. "I can't remember the last time I went out to eat."

"It is my pleasure." Frank smiled at him, his stomach twisting nervously as he gazed over him.

What the fuck was he getting himself into?

He knew this was going to be a rough road, he knew this wasn't going to be easy, and he knew something could go wrong at any moment.

He never wanted to help someone like this before, what the fuck was so special about Gerard that made him so set on helping him?

Gerard had no idea what was going on inside Frank's head, all he knew was he hadn't felt this happy in a long time, and he was so grateful that Frank decided to spend time with him.

He didn't realize how much he missed friendly interaction until now, or affection for that matter, and he didn't realize how fast his heart could beat as Frank smiled at him... at least not sober, that is.

And Frank liked him, he knew Gerard did those drugs, but he didn't try to change it, that's what Gerard loved the most.

Of course that wasn't the case, Gerard just didn't realize Frank's other intentions, and hopefully he never would.

The rest of their lunch went by with causal conversation, really just getting to know each other since they barely did.

And just as expected, the more Frank learned about Gerard, the more he liked him.

And the more he liked him, the more desperate he became to get him sober.

"I have to use the bathroom," Frank commented once he had paid the bill. "I'll be right back."

"I'll come with you." Gerard smiled, wiping his mouth with his napkin before standing up and following Frank to the bathroom, the smirk against his lips hidden behind Frank's back.

Gerard searched the small bathroom the second they entered it, and when he learned no one else was in it, he grabbed Frank by his shirt, dragging him into one of the stalls.

"Gerard- what-" Gerard silenced him by kissing him, his hands roaming all over Frank's body before stilling on his crotch. "Gerard-"

"Wanna repay you..." Gerard bit his lip, squeezing Frank through his jeans. "For lunch..."

"Gerard, no-" Frank grabbed his wrist and pulled it away, but Gerard overpowered him pretty easily, and soon his hand was down Frank's pants. "Ah, fuck- G-Gerard, I don't want you thinking you have to repay me for things-"

"But Frankie I like it." Gerard sighed, resting his forehead against Frank's. "I like making you feel good, I like repaying you for things..."

"Gerard-" Frank groaned, managing to remove Gerard's hand, and pin them both against Gerard's chest. "Look at me, I don't want you doing that, ever, do you understand me?"

"But I want you..." Gerard whined, pushing weakly against Frank's hold on him.

He more than wanted him though, he craved it by this point, he craved the way Frank's thighs trembled, or the sounds that left his lips, he craved it all.

"If you keep trying to 'pay me back' this way, you'll never have me again, understood?" Frank tried, not really sure what the fuck was going through Gerard's head, but trying to get through to him.

"I won't anymore, I promise." Gerard rushed out, pulling away from Frank. "B-But can we later... just because?" He asked hopeful, still desiring Frank. 

"Later..." Frank breathed out, cupping the side of Gerard's face, kissing him softly. "We can do whatever you want..."

"O-Okay." Gerard nodded instantly. "Sorry..."

"It's okay, baby." Frank smiled at him, not wanting Gerard to tear himself up over it, knowing this was all new to him. "Why don't you go wait in the car?"

"Okay." Gerard nodded timidly, accepting the keys from Frank before wandering out into the car, waiting patiently.

-

"Gerard fuck-" Frank gasped, his head falling back against the wall as Gerard worked his mouth against him quickly.

The second they had entered the house Gerard was on his knees, pulling Frank's pants down and forcing Frank into his mouth.

He was desperate after their short encounter in the bathroom, and now that they were in the privacy of Frank's home, and he wasn't trying to repay him for anything, he thought it was okay.

And really, Frank didn't disagree.

He had been hard the whole car ride home due to that short encounter, and if Gerard was really this eager to do it, then he was going to let him.

"Fuck, just like that-" Frank panted as Gerard used his hand to work the places he couldn't reach with his mouth, his other hand clutching Frank's trembling thigh between his fingers.

That hand quickly disappeared though, and as Frank gazed down, he realized it was because Gerard had shoved it down his pants, Gerard's throat practically vibrating around his cock as he moaned loudly.

"Fuck, get up." Frank ordered then, grabbing onto the collar of Gerard's shirt before hauling him to his feet, shoving him up against the wall and kissing him aggressively. "Gonna let me fuck you, baby?" He growled, forcing his hand down Gerard's pants, emitting a squeak from the other.

"Please-" Gerard nodded his head vigorously, swallowing hard as Frank pulled his pants back up, his hand in Gerard's as he pulled him into the bedroom.

"Clothes off." Frank muttered against Gerard's lips, shoving him against the bed a second later while he retrieved the bottle of lube and a condom.

Gerard whimpered quietly to himself as he all but tore the clothing off, watching anxiously as Frank finally did the same.

"Just like last time, baby." Frank spoke softly then, remembering this was only Gerard's second time bottoming, ever. "Relax and the pain will go away, I promise."

Gerard nodded timidly, clutching the bed sheets with his hands as he spread his legs for Frank, blushing at the low groan that emitted from Frank's mouth as he did.

This was the first time they were going to have sex just to do it, while Gerard was completely sober.

The very first time he was distracted by the drugs, and all the others he was high, now it was just him and Frank, no other motive than to please each other.

"So hot..." Frank whispered as he climbed onto the bed, his fingertip trailing up Gerard's thighs slowly. 

The words were true, Frank wasn't saying it to turn Gerard on, or anything of the sort, he was saying it because he thought it was true.

He wanted to use the word beautiful, but he didn't know how Gerard would feel about that.

"Frank-" Gerard breathed out once Frank eventually covered his fingers in lube, teasingly pressing them against Gerard. "Please..."

The teasing stopped then, and Frank slowly pushed in one finger, kissing against the side of Gerard's thigh as he tensed up. 

"Relax..." Frank whispered, sucking softly against Gerard's thigh, leaving a faint mark. "You know it will get better."

Gerard didn't respond verbally to that, he just focused on Frank's lips against his thigh, and the slight pleasure that was starting to form as Frank slowly moved his finger in and out.

"That's it, baby." Frank praised, slowly edging in another finger. "You're doing so good."

"F-Frank?" Gerard groaned out, his eyes squeezing shut. "Could you do something for me?"

"Anything." Frank breathed out against his thigh, slowly working his two fingers. 

"B-Bite me." Gerard whispered, his whole body turning red from embarrassment.

Biting sounded hot, he wasn't sure if he'd love it, but he wanted to try.

"Where, baby?" Frank questioned softly, slowly scissoring his fingers inside of Gerard.

"A-Anywhere-" Gerard whimpered quietly. "Just wanna feel it-"

Frank grinned and eyed over the light mark he had made on Gerard's thigh, knowing that would be the perfect place to try it out.

So without second thought Frank leaned back in against his thigh, opening his mouth slowly, before sinking his teeth into the skin.

"Jesus- fuck!" Gerard cried out loudly, his body clenching around Frank's fingers as he panted heavily. "P-Please, oh god- fuck me, I'm ready-"

For extra measure Frank stretched him a bit more, but didn't spend too much time doing it, and before he knew it he had the condom on, and was lubing himself up.

He went slow when he finally pushed in, letting Gerard adjust fully before he started a slow pace.

It wasn't long before Gerard was a squirming mess underneath him, curse words spilling from his mouth as his body fought against Frank's, his fingernails breaking the skin on Frank's chest as he begged him to go faster.

"Shit." Frank groaned, leaning down to suck on Gerard's neck, his arm slipping underneath the other, pulling their upper bodies together. "Fuck, baby-"

"Feels so good-" Gerard cried out, his legs tightening around Frank's waist as he lifted his hips higher, letting Frank push in so much deeper. "Ah, fuck, fuck, fuck-"

It was when Gerard tugged on Frank's hair that he bit him again, the action causing Gerard to practically scream out, the hold on Frank's hair tightening as his hips rocked wildly forward.

Gerard was fucking lost at this point, the pleasure radiating through his body causing his vision to blur, quiet screams leaving his mouth each time Frank pushed into him, somehow hitting that perfect spot every time.

"You gonna come, baby?" Frank growled against his neck, dragging his teeth against the tender skin. "Scream my name?"

Gerard could only nod eagerly in response, the hand not tangled in Frank's hair slipping between them, pumping himself desperately.

"That's it." Frank grinned, lifting his head to gaze down at Gerard's face, knowing he could get off just by watching it twist with pleasure. 

"Ah-" Gerard choked out, his back arching and mouth falling open as he felt it about to hit him. "F-Fuck- I- Frank!" He gasped as he came all over his stomach, a bit of it even reaching his chest.

Frank had been holding off until Gerard came, so the second Gerard started gasping Frank let go, a deep grunt leaving his lips as he spilled into the condom.

After they cleaned up a bit they collapsed onto the bed together, panting quietly while gazing up at the ceiling. 

"You're so good at that..." Gerard breathed out weakly, causing a smug smile to form on Frank's face.

"I know." Frank turned on his side to gaze at Gerard, but his smile fell when he noticed the clock across the room.

He was suppose to meet up with that addict any minute, and instead of being parked in his usual spot, he was lying naked in bed with Gerard.

"Fuck- Gerard, hurry get dressed."

He jumped out of bed then, rushing to get dressed as Gerard hesitantly followed his actions.

"What's wrong?" Gerard questioned timidly, slowly pulling on his pants. "Did I do something?"

"No, no, of course not." Frank tried to smile at him, pulling his shirt over his head. "I just have business I'm late to, so we gotta go."

Gerard dressed more quickly after that, and before he knew it he was in the back of Frank's car, driving down the streets of Jersey.

He had to sit back there because Frank did business from his car, and it would be hard to do business if the customer was in the back seat. 

"Don't say anything when he gets in the car, okay?" 

Gerard nodded timidly as they pulled off to the side of the road, a sudden wave of fear overwhelming him when he noticed someone waiting there.

They looked horrible, they were dirty, their clothes were barely holding together, and they had little scabs all over their skin.

He couldn't voice his fear to Frank though, because the man had gotten into the car within seconds, not even noticing Gerard as he gazed wide eyed at Frank.

"Same as last time?" Frank questioned as he reached for his backpack, just like he had done for Gerard.

"Y-Yes." The man spoke, his voice shaky, probably from desperation.

Frank glanced back at Gerard through the mirror, hoping the fearful gaze was having his wanted effect on him.

He searched through his bag then, pulling out the drugs he wanted Gerard to avoid at all costs, the heroin.

Luckily the two drugs looked very similar, so Gerard didn't notice that the man wasn't buying cocaine.

All he noticed was how the money the man paid with was crumpled up and dirty, almost falling apart even.

"T-Thanks-" They made the exchange, and the man tried eagerly to leave the car, when Frank stopped him.

"Wait-" Frank called out, stopping the man, who turned back with wide eyes. "Take these."

He reached back into his bag and pulled out something Gerard couldn't identify right away.

They were syringes though, Gerard soon learned once Frank explained himself.

"Don't use a dirty needle again, okay?" Frank pressed, knowing the other had been so desperate before that he had used a dirty needle. 

Frank knew the man was going to do the drugs, he knew he couldn't stop that, so he felt the need to at least provide him with clean syringes, that way he didn't catch AIDs or something like that.

"T-Thank y-you." The man accepted them gratefully, scurrying out of the car a second later, drugs hidden in his ratty jacket.

They waited until the man was out of sight before Gerard moved up to the front, his nervous eyes avoiding Frank, simply looking off into the distance instead.

"You okay?" Frank pushed softly, praying that this was going to work.

"T-That man-" Gerard stuttered out, turning to face Frank then. "H-He- looked so-"

"He's a drug addict, Gerard." 

"B-But I'm a drug addict." Gerard stammered out, his heart racing as he started to realize stuff. "I-I'm not that bad-"

"He wasn't at first either." Frank spoke calmly, refusing to sugar coat anything, wanting to show Gerard what his future could be if he kept this up. "He used to have a job, a family, a nice house..."

"W-What happened to him?" Gerard stuttered out, silently hoping it had nothing to do with the drugs.

"He lost his job by stealing money to pay for his drugs, his wife left with his kids after he became violent during withdraw... the bank foreclosed his house. He lost everything because of his dependence of the drugs."

"B-But- how does he pay for the drugs now then?"

"You don't want to know, Gerard..." Frank whispered, even Frank didn't want to know, but unfortunately he couldn't make himself forget.

Gerard stayed silent for a while, his breathing heavy as he gazed at nothing.

He didn't want to end up like that guy, but he didn't want to give up the drugs either, it seemed like a losing battle no matter what.

"C-Can you take me home, please?" Gerard finally spoke, his voice quiet.

He wanted to be alone, he was freaking the fuck out on the inside, and he didn't want Frank to see it.

"Of course." Frank pulled back into the street then, starting the journey back to Gerard's house.

Frank wasn't sure if Gerard seeing that guy had scared him into wanting to be sober, but he knew it definitely scared him, and hopefully it was just enough to make him want to change.

"I'll call you later, okay?" Frank spoke as he pulled up in front of Gerard's house. 

"Okay." Gerard nodded, not really paying much attention. "Sounds good."

"Can I kiss you goodbye?" Frank smiled sweetly at Gerard then, succeeding in getting his attention, even for just a few moments. 

"Okay." Gerard grinned shyly, leaning over to give Frank a quick kiss. "Thank you."

"You don't gotta thank me, baby." Frank grinned, kissing Gerard once more since he was still within reach. "It was my pleasure, baby."

Frank excessively used the pet name on purpose because he knew Gerard loved it, and Frank loved the way Gerard's eyes would light up and his cheeks flush whenever the word slipped past his lips.

He left then, a smile against his lips as he wandered into his house.

However that smile fell as soon as Frank was gone, and the memory of the drug addict haunted his mind once again.

"Mikey?" Gerard called out hesitantly, for once needing his little brother. "Mikey, you home?"

Unfortunately for Gerard, he found a note on the fridge, letting him now Mikey would be at work most of the night.

Of course the one time Gerard actually wanted to talk to Mikey, he wasn't here.

And now that he knew for a fact he was alone, he started to have a panic attack.

He didn't want to end up like that guy, he didn't want to lose Mikey, he didn't want to lose his house, he didn't want any of those things, yet them seemed inevitable.

"Fuck." Gerard cursed to himself once he was inside his bedroom. "I can't- fuck-" 

There was a voice telling Gerard to get sober, but there was another voice telling him he'd be a piece of shit no matter what he did, and unfortunately, the second voice was louder.

Despite his better judgement, Gerard found himself shakily cutting a line, the panic attack being too much for him; he needed to stop it somehow, and he figured coke was his best bet.

It worked for the most part, it distracted him from what was scaring him so much, but he knew he needed more, so with a racing heart he grabbed his jacket, his feet moving him into the direction of the bar.

He hoped Bert was there, Bert always bought him drinks, and considering he didn't have any money, it would end up pointless if Bert wasn't even there.

Bert was always there though, especially this early in the night for some reason.

And of course, he was there this time as well.

"Gerard!" He cheered once he caught sight of the dark mop of hair. "Where've you been? I've missed you!" He wrapped an arm around Gerard's shoulders then, pulling him close as he ordered them both shots.

"Busy." Gerard shrugged, downing the shot the second it was placed in front of him.

"You okay, buddy?" Bert questioned then, eyeing Gerard with concern.

"No." Gerard shook his head, a grim expression on his face. "I need distracting."

Bert just smirked and ordered another round, assuring Gerard he would distract him.

It was after the fourth round when Bert grabbed Gerard's hand, giggling to himself as he dragged the other into the single bathroom.

"Bert, slow down-" Gerard giggled, stumbling into the other as he locked the door. "What are we doing?"

"The good stuff." He grinned, pulling out a little bag. "Been savin' it for you."

"Oh, fuck yeah." Gerard giggled, holding onto Bert's arm as he cut them each a line or two. "You're sweet."

"Here-" Bert handed him a dollar bill. "You can have it first."

Gerard smiled crookedly as he moved in front of Bert, leaning down to snort the line off the edge of the sink.

Bert just watched with a smile, his fingertips brushing gently at the back of Gerard's thighs.

They often fooled around, Bert and Gerard, but for some reason Gerard had forgotten about it completely, and was a little shocked after the drugs were gone, as Bert pushed him up against the wall, his lips on his instantly.

Gerard wasn't thinking clearly at all, he just relaxed and let Bert kiss him, enjoying the feeling of Bert's hands all over his body.

"Fuck-" Gerard whimpered as Bert lowered his lips to Gerard's neck, Gerard's dick painfully pressing against the zipper on his pants.

Bert's lips trailed over the bite mark Frank had left on him though, and that seemed to knock Gerard out of his drug induced confusion.

Frank, he thought, his head spinning as he gazed around the room, new confusion setting in; oh fuck, Frank, they had kissed, and fucked, and went out to lunch... but what were they?

Gerard was so fucking confused, was he Frank's boyfriend? Was he cheating on Frank right now?

He didn't know, and if the answer ended up being no, he didn't want to stop.

He was hard, and Bert was touching him, he didn't want to stop unless he knew for a fact that Frank and him were together.

However guilt seemed to set in anyways, the fear of cheating on Frank, if that's what he was doing, knocking him back into reality.

But as he gazed down, Bert was on his knees, and Gerard's pants and boxers were down around his thighs.

"W-Wait-" He managed to choke out just as Bert was leaning forward, his reflexes causing him to shove Bert away, making him fall on his ass. 

"W-What?" Bert stammered out, looking up at Gerard in confusion, he had never reacted this way, after all. "Did I do something?" 

"I- I-" Gerard stammered out, pulling his pants back up before leaning down to help Bert up. "I'm so sorry-"

"Gerard what's wrong?" Bert questioned, his eyebrows furrowed together. 

Gerard just started crying, he didn't know how to explain it, and he was so overwhelmed with emotions that the tears just came out.

"Hey, hey-" Bert tried to sooth, accidentally falling into Gerard as he tried to hug him. "Shh, it's okay-"

"I- I think I just cheated on someone-" Gerard sobbed, his body shaking against Bert. "I-"

"You're seeing somebody?" Bert gasped, pulling away just slightly to look at Gerard. "Why-"

"I don't know!" Gerard wailed, falling against Bert's chest. "W-We've been with each other the past f-few days, but I- I don't know what we are, I-"

"Fuck, I'm sorry, Gerard- I shouldn't have-"

"Not your fault." Gerard shook his head against Bert's chest. "I don't know what to do-"

"Call him?" Bert suggested, not knowing the best option either. "Tell him and ask him what you are?"

"O-Okay." Gerard nodded, sniffling as he grabbed his phone out of his pocket. "I will..."

Frank had already tried calling Gerard, like he said he would, and that made Gerard's heart twist painfully. 

He forced himself to call back though, but the second he heard Frank's voice, he burst into tears again.

"Gerard? What's wrong? Gerard, where are you?"

Gerard was just sobbing into the phone though, attempting to tell Frank what had happened, but failing as all his words were slurred.

"Fuck, Gerard, breathe, where are you?"

"B-Bar- 2nd street-" Gerard managed, his stomach churning violently when Frank hung up.

Before he knew it Gerard was hunched over the toilet, the several shots catching up to him as he emptied them all into the bowl.

Bert just stood there looking confused, his head still spinning about Gerard's confession.

It was strange, they almost always fooled around, and stopping just when they were about to start left him dazed and confused.

Or maybe that was the alcohol and drugs, who knew?

"L-Let me help you outside." He finally offered, hauling Gerard to his feet as the two stumbled towards the exit.

Frank was on his way, and it was only about a five minute drive, so if Gerard managed not to pass out within that time, they should be good.

The cold air stung his skin as they exited the building, but Gerard was grateful for the fresh air, it had been stuffy as fuck in that bathroom.

"Sit down, buddy." Bert offered, both of them stumbling to the ground as they rested against the building.

Frank showed up soon after though, and as soon as Gerard laid eyes on his car he started crying.

"Gerard?" Frank rushed out, practically running over to the two.

Bert stood up when he realized this must of been the person Gerard was talking about, and Frank eyed him suspiciously.

"What did you do to him?" Frank clenched his fists, anger filling every inch of his body as he glanced down at Gerard who was crying.

"N-Nothing-" Bert stammered out, looking confused. "N-Nothing he didn't want-"

Frank's anger bubbled over then, and he shoved Bert up against the brick wall, his fists clenching Bert's shirt roughly.

"What the fuck does that mean?" Frank growled, applying more force against his hold. "I swear to god if you even touched him-"

"Frank no-" Gerard suddenly spoke then, falling into him as he tried to push Frank away from Bert. "Not Bert, me-" 

He was trying to explain he was the one who fucked up, but really he just confused Frank even more.

"Baby, go sit in the car." Frank spoke softly, making sure Gerard was able to walk somewhat properly before turning his attention back to Bert. "You have two seconds to explain before I rip out your throat."

"We're buddies!" Bert choked out, slightly fearing for his life. "W-We just- fool around sometimes-"

"You two fuck?" 

Bert once again could have used better word choice, but like always, his drunken brain wasn't helping him out for shit.

And now Frank was starting to get pissed at Gerard, Gerard had said he was a virgin, but if that were true, Bert wouldn't be saying the things he was.

"No." Bert shook his head. "I- I wanted to, but he never did- we stuck with handjobs and blowies-"

Frank let out a sigh and ran his fingers through his hair, a headache forming as he realized this was going to be a long conversation if he wanted any truth out of it.

He decided he'd just wait to talk to Gerard, and since Gerard insisted this Bert guy didn't do anything wrong, he was going to leave him unharmed.

"I didn't do anything he didn't want." Bert tried again, making Frank's stomach twist in a different way now.

What exactly had they done that Gerard wanted?

"Fine, whatever." Frank sighed, shaking his head as he thought of what to say. "Sorry for shoving you against the wall."

Bert just kinda shrugged in response, wandering back into the bar after Frank returned to his car.

Gerard had passed out on the seat, so with a tired sigh, Frank drove him back to his place, sending Mikey a quick text letting him now Gerard was with him.

He also managed to drag Gerard into the house, trying not to groan in annoyance when Gerard woke up after the trudging journey.

"Frank-" He stuttered out, his eyes welling with tears. "Frank, I'm so sorry-"

"What happened?" Frank sighed, far too exhausted to find out anything but the truth at this point, that conversation with Bert had been draining.

"I-I- scared I was gonna end up like that guy- and I panicked, and Bert and I used to mess around- and he thought we still could and we kissed and touched a little-" Gerard started sobbing then, stuttering out an apology to Frank. "I-I'm just so confused- I love what we have, but I don't know what it is-"

Frank let out another sigh, he was upset, obviously, but he wasn't mad.

He had been very vague to Gerard about whatever they had going on, he hadn't labeled it, so he understood Gerard was confused, and didn't blame him for kissing Bert.

"I'm not mad." Frank whispered, in a way he supposed he was mad, but not at Gerard, at himself. "I should have been more clear with you."

"S-So, I didn't cheat on you?" Gerard sniffled, sounding hopeful. "I didn't?"

"No, baby, you didn't, it's okay." Frank assured, rubbing his side soothingly. "Let's go back a bit, why were you so panicked?"

Gerard stayed silent for a while, trying to push down the vomit that seemed to be rising at the thought.

"Don't wanna end up like that guy..." he mumbled, his eyes cast downward. "But I'm going to."

"Why do you say that?" Frank whispered, pulling Gerard into his lap on the couch. 

"Because-" Gerard breathed out, resting his head on Frank's chest. "I-I'm destined to fuck up- I- need those drugs-"

"No you don't, baby." Frank interrupted softly, rubbing his sides again. "You don't need those."

"B-But I do!" Gerard cried out, clutching Frank's shirt. "And even if I didn't, I'm not strong enough to quit, I'm not."

"Yes, you are." Frank whispered against the top of his head. "And I'd be by your side the whole time, and Mikey too..."

"R-Really?" Gerard sniffled, looking up at Frank's face in search of lies. "Y-You'd help me get clean?"

"I'd do whatever it took." Frank responded truthfully, trying to ignore the hopeful feeling in his gut, just in case Gerard didn't agree to get clean. "I would stand by your side every minute of it, no matter what, you have my word."

Gerard just stared at him for a moment, looking deep in thought before slowly settling his head back against Frank's chest.

And Frank tried not to cry out with joy when Gerard finally spoke those words.

"I want to get clean."


	5. Chapter 5

Gerard's phone alarm blared through Frank's bedroom, pulling both men from the heavy slumber.

"Gerard, what the fuck?" Frank groaned, glancing over to his clock. "It's like 5am-"

"Fuck!" Gerard practically screamed, scrambling out of bed as he realized the alarm on his phone was for work. "I have to be at work in like twenty minutes I-" His sentence ended abruptly, his stomach churning violently as he rushed into the bathroom, spilling the contents of last night into the bowl.

He was hungover, to say the least, and now he had to go to work.

He was going to be late, there was no possible way he was going to get to work on time; he had to run home, get his work clothes, make himself look like he's not hungover, and still get to the building.

"Gerard, are you okay?" Frank rushed into the bathroom, kneeling next to Gerard who was practically sobbing over the toilet. 

He was going to lose his job, and then Mikey would kick him out, and he would end up like that guy in the car.

"Frank I gotta go to work-" Gerard sniffled, wiping his mouth before flushing the toilet. "Will you please drive me?"

"Maybe you should just call in today..."

"I can't!" Gerard snapped, feeling on the verge of a panic attack. "I've already got two strikes against me, if I don't show up they'll fire me, and I'll be homeless, and broke and-"

"Hey, hey-" Frank soothed, rubbing Gerard's back slowly. "I'll drive you to work, let's go."

He helped Gerard to his feet then, and Frank quickly got dressed before driving Gerard back to his house to get his work clothes.

Gerard was a mess while he rushed to get ready for work, but he managed to get dressed and brush his teeth without breaking down.

By the time he made it to work though, he was ten minutes late, and considering his boss got pissed off over two minutes, he mentally prepared his apology as he rushed in the door.

Frank promised he'd stop by in a little while, which gave Gerard something to look forward to, but still, he was terrified he was about to be fired.

"Look, I understand I'm a little late-" Gerard began explaining as he rushed behind the counter, refusing to look up from the ground. "But I swear it won't happen again, I just had a really bad morning and I know that's no excuse but-"

"I won't tell." A soft voice spoke, shocking Gerard into looking up.

It wasn't his boss, it was a woman, a woman who wasn't yelling at him so Gerard already liked her.

"You must be Gerard." She spoke again, walking towards him, hand extended. 

"Y-Yeah." Gerard sniffled, slowly accepted her handshake. "Who're you?"

"I'm Lindsey, I'm covering for your boss today."

"Oh." Gerard nodded to himself, turning away to put on his apron. "Nice to meet you."

"You too." 

A few costumers came in then, fancy looking business men, who looked at Gerard like he was the trash on the streets.

His appearance was really rough though, he had heavy bags until his eyes, his eyes themselves were bloodshot too.

Gerard would probably look at himself that way too.

After the costumers left Gerard talked to Lindsey a bit more, and so far he liked her a million times more than his boss.

She was literally saving his ass by promising not to tell the boss he was late, and for that alone he was extremely grateful.

She even let him make himself a coffee to help him wake up, free of charge.

She wasn't like his boss, she actually helped out with the workload, she didn't just sit around and watch Gerard do it.

"So, rough night?" She finally ventured to ask, seeing as she was really curious since the man rushed into the building.

"Yeah, I think so." Gerard mumbled, sipping at his delicious coffee. "I can't really remember much."

"Who was that cute guy who dropped you off?"

Gerard grinned shyly to himself, hiding his blushing cheeks behind his coffee cup.

"That's Frank."

"Is he nice?"

"So nice." Gerard couldn't hide his smile then, nor his blush. "The nicest person I've met in a long time... he's going to be stopping by later, actually."

Lindsey just smiled and said how she couldn't wait to meet him.

They just worked after that, especially since the morning rush hit soon after the conversation ended.

Gerard hated the rush, he always got so overwhelmed with all the orders and all the people, he was thankful Lindsey was actually helping him out, unlike his shitty boss.

They had a well thought out system, she would take the orders and label the cups, while Gerard made them.

It made the process a lot faster than it usually was.

Frank had texted Gerard about halfway through the rush, telling him he had some business he needed to do, but that he'd be stopping by shortly after that.

Gerard was ecstatic that Frank was going to be there soon, it gave him the motivation to trudge through the rest of the rush.

Maybe Lindsey would let Gerard take his break once Frank got here, and they could go outside and have a smoke or something.

Gerard really needed that... he wanted something else, but he tried not to think about it.

Frank stayed true to his word, and shortly after the rush ended Gerard saw Frank's car parking in the parking lot.

He grinned ear to ear as he saw Frank get out of the car, and turned to Lindsey.

"Do you think I could take my break now?"

Lindsey eyed the front door, which Frank had just walked through, before a small smirk covered her lips, telling Gerard it would be fine if he wanted to take his break.

"Thank you!" Gerard gushed, rushing around the counter to Frank. "Hey."

"Hey, baby." Frank smiled, holding out a bottle of orange juice. "I thought this might help with your head, I also brought you some Advil."

"Thank you." Gerard sighed, accepting the items from Frank before downing two of the pills. "You wanna go outside? Or would you like some coffee?"

"Let's go outside." 

Gerard nodded and began to follow Frank out, when Frank slowly took his hand, holding it tightly with his own.

That made Gerard beam internally, the simple act of affection causing his heart to beat rapidly in his chest.

He finally kissed Frank once they were outside, their hands still together as Frank relaxed against the wall.

"You seem to be having a better day." Frank smiled, running his thumb over Gerard's knuckles.

"I am-" Gerard nodded, ready to tell Frank all about the different day he's had. "So, my boss is gone, and instead that girl Lindsey is in there, and she's like really fucking nice, she let me have a coffee for free, and she actually helped with the costumers and she promised she wouldn't tell my boss I was late-" Gerard paused, a sudden blush to his cheeks. "I'm sorry, I'm rambling."

"No, no." Frank smiled, his free hand coming up to brush Gerard's dark hair behind his ears. "It's okay, I like hearing about your day."

Gerard just grinned and kissed Frank again, ending it in a hug, sighing quietly as he wrapped his arms around Frank.

"C-Can we talk about last night?" Frank dared to ask, dying to know if Gerard remembered telling him he wanted to get clean.

Gerard stiffened in his touch, he was silently hoping Frank had forgotten about it.

He decided to act like Frank meant the whole Bert thing, hoping maybe he secretly was.

"I promise I only kissed him-" Gerard pulled away. "I-It's only because I don't know what we are, and I was drunk, and-"

"Not that, baby." Frank whispered, his hand coming up to cup the side of Gerard's face, in hopes it would help him relax. "You know what I meant."

"W-What if I want to change my mind?" Gerard spoke softly, not wanting to disappoint Frank.

Frank didn't say anything, he didn't want to risk saying the wrong thing and pulling the thought of getting clean out of Gerard's mind completely.

Gerard noticed the disappointed look though, so he quickly tried to explain himself.

"I don't think I can just stop, I don't-"

"You don't have to just stop." Frank interrupted softly, causing Gerard to stare back at him with wide eyes.

"W-What do you mean?" 

"It's not safe to just quit... so, you'll just cut down little by little each day." 

"I can still do it a little bit?" Gerard gasped, that realization giving him a boost of confidence. "Really?"

"Yes." Was all Frank said, not wanting to bring up the fact that eventually he wouldn't be able to anymore. "Just less than what you're used to."

"Okay." Gerard nodded, feeling confident in himself. "Then I don't change my mind."

Frank let out a breath of relief, his lips instantly clashing with Gerard's.

He was just so happy, Gerard was still willing to try, that definitely deserved a celebration kiss.

"Gerard-" Frank gasped as Gerard's hands snuck behind him, grabbing his ass as he pulled the two together. "You have to get back to work soon."

"I don't wanna." Gerard pouted, his hands still gripping at Frank's ass. 

"Are you this horny 24/7?" Frank laughed weakly, trying to will away the boner that was forming.

"Just around you." Gerard admitted shyly, biting his lip as he pulled away. "I can't help myself... there's just something so addicting about you."

"It's my dick, isn't it?" Frank giggled, ignoring the blush creeping on his cheeks. 

"I'm sure that has something to do with it..." Gerard mumbled, his hand attempting to move over Frank's crotch, but Frank grabbed his hand.

"How about this," Frank started, pinning Gerard's hand at his side. "If you can make it through work, and maybe clean your room... we can do whatever you want afterwards."

"Why do I gotta clean my room?" Gerard groaned, sounding like a teenager whose mother nagged him to do so. 

"Because, the more comfortable you are, the less likely you'll wanna distract yourself with the drugs. I'll help you, okay?"

"Fine." Gerard sighed, not really seeing the point, but loving the outcome of it. "But afterwards we're doing whatever I want."

"What is it you want, exactly?" Frank questioned with an eyebrow raised, wondering what he was getting himself into.

"Kinda wanna pin you down again..." Gerard smirked confidently. "Maybe against the wall this time..."

"Fuck." Frank shivered, his gaze falling from Gerard's lustful one. "W-What time do you get off work?"

"Noon." Gerard smiled, pulling away from Frank so he could compose himself. 

"Okay." Frank breathed out. "Well, at noon, I will be outside to pick you up, okay?"

"You're gonna pick me up from work?" Gerard grinned shyly to himself.

"Well yeah," Frank smiled, preparing himself for the next thing he was going to say. "I don't want my boyfriend walking home alone..."

"Boyfriend?" Gerard's head snapped up at that, his heart fluttering rapidly in his chest. 

"Will you be?" Frank proposed the question in the least romantic way possible, but to Gerard, it was perfect.

"Yes!" Gerard breathed out, his face flushed. "I'd love to be your boyfriend."

They kissed then, and it was probably the most passionate kiss they had ever shared.

"I'd love for you to be my boyfriend." Frank smiled as they pulled away, basking in the shy blush that was all over Gerard's face. "So no more kissing people at the bar, okay?"

"I won't!" Gerard assured quickly, his mind and heart racing at everything he was processing. "I- I was just confused on us-"

"I know, baby." Frank smiled, leaning up to kiss Gerard softly. "Now you don't have to be confused."

"You're wonderful." Gerard giggled shyly, pulling Frank into a hug. "I feel a lot better with you around..."

Frank couldn't describe the feeling he felt when Gerard said that, but it made him feel good, and he was ecstatic he could help Gerard this way.

"Let's go back inside, hm?" 

"Wait, I need a smoke first." Gerard reached into his pocket, pulling out the pack he had bought with Frank's tip. "I bought these with that tip you left me... so thank you."

"You deserved a nice tip." Frank smiled, relaxing against the wall as he waited for Gerard to finish his smoke.

They chatted idly then, but by the time Gerard was done with his cigarette, his break was over.

Frank still wanted coffee though, so he followed Gerard back inside, ordering what he had last time.

The smile wouldn't leave Gerard's lips as he made Frank's coffee, drawing a little heart next to Frank's name.

"Thanks, baby." Frank grinned as he accepted the drink. "Can I kiss you goodbye?"

His original boss would lose his shit if Gerard showed any public acts of affection, but as he gazed over at Lindsey, she just winked and whispered how she wouldn't tell anyone.

So the two shared a quick kiss across the counter, Gerard's cheeks flaring bright red as Frank grabbed his side softly.

"See you after work." Frank winked, making his way out of the store as he waved goodbye to Lindsey.

Gerard erupted into a fit of giggles after Frank was gone, leaning back against the wall as he felt something he hadn't felt in a long time.

Joy.

-

Frank called Mikey, he wanted to talk to him about Gerard, and luckily Mikey was currently at Gerard's house, and not at work.

Frank wanted to learn a bit more about Gerard, he wanted to see how Gerard might react during the process of getting clean.

He would risk getting hurt, but he'd like to be prepared for what was going to happen.

"Hey..." Frank greeted awkwardly as Mikey answered the door, the tension clear between the two. "Can I come in?"

"Sure." Mikey mumbled, stepping aside to let Frank in. 

"So... I have good news." Frank tried once they were sat on the couch, wondering how to approach the situation. "I managed to convince Gerard to try and get clean."

"How the fuck did you do that?" Mikey gasped, trying not to get his hopes up too high.

"I um, I have this friend-" Frank started, not wanting to let Mikey know he was a drug dealer. "Who is at rock bottom from drug use, I introduced the two, and it scared Gerard into wanting to get clean."

"D-Do you think he'll do it?"

"I think it's definitely a possibility... it won't be easy though, but that's why I'm here." Frank started to explain, getting to the point of his visit. "Has Gerard ever gotten violent with you? Physically hurt you in any way?"

"No." Mikey shook his head instantly. "He's all bark no bite, but his bark is pretty scary."

"No, no, that's perfect." Frank nodded, feeling a rush of relief. "I just needed to know if I should be prepared for violent physical outbursts during his withdraw."

"You're really going to spend your time helping him? How did you two even meet?"

"We met at a bar." Frank answered honestly. "And then recently I went through a shitty breakup and Gerard was there to... help me through it."

"Oh." Mikey mumbled, looking down at his nails like he didn't know what else to say. 

"He can't find out we had this conversation." Frank added. "He can't know you know about his desire to get clean, it'll deter his determination."

"Makes sense." Mikey mumbled again, making it very clear he didn't like Frank all that much.

Sure he was making his brother happy, but he was suspicious of the situation.

If only he knew their true relationship beforehand, he probably would have kicked Frank to the curb faster than he could blink.

"Look... I can see you don't like me very much-"

"What do you expect?" Mikey spat, unable to control his feelings anymore. "My brother has a problem, and he's very easily swayed due to that problem, and then you show up saying you want to help him, when really it seems like you just want to help him on your dick."

Frank was a bit taken back at that, not expecting something like that to come out of the other mans mouth.

"I-" Frank stuttered out, absolutely speechless of what to say. "It's not like that-"

"Yeah, you're just helping him because of the 'goodness in your heart'." Mikey scoffed, refusing to look at Frank as he crossed his arms.

"You know what?" Frank shook his head, annoyance setting in. "You want the blunt truth?"

Mikey made eye contact then, only raising his eyebrows in response.

"At first, yes, I just wanted to fuck your brother, okay?" Mikey glared at him. "I wanted to fuck the shit out of him, use him to distract myself from the pain my ex had put upon me, but as I gazed into those gorgeous hazel eyes, and heard that timid voice of his, something change. I don't know what the fuck it was, but it happened-" Frank let out a frustrated sigh, standing up from the couch, wanting that up over Mikey. "But if you're going to sit here and accuse me of only wanting to use him, then maybe I should just disappear, leave him alone, would you like that?"

Now Mikey was the one speechless, all he could do is stare up at Frank with wide eyes.

Frank wasn't finished though, he was pissed that Mikey would suggest such things, so he was going to make him feel like shit about it.

"You want me to break your brothers heart? I make your brother happy, don't you dare fucking tell me he used to smile like that on his own because I know that's bullshit. But if you keep fucking accusing me of shit like that I will leave, and you'll be left to pick up the pieces of the heart I had just started to mend up-"

"Stop!" Mikey suddenly exclaimed, standing to his feet. "I'm sorry, okay?!" Frank took a step back, not comfortable being so close. "How can you expect me not to be suspicious? Yeah, you make him happy, but what if you're doing that by supplying him with more drugs?"

Frank swallowed hard at that, but didn't let it show.

"Why would I be trying to get him to quit if I were supplying the drugs?"

Mikey faltered at that, seeing a hole in his logic.

"I'm just-" Mikey sighed in aggravation. "I'm sorry, I'm just protective, that's all."

Frank relaxed once Mikey sat back down, and hesitantly did the same. 

"I'm not trying to hurt your brother." Frank tried to assure. "And I don't know what else I can do to prove that to you."

"With all due respect, I'll believe it when he's sober."

"Fine, that's fair." 

"I have to get ready for work." Mikey announced then, getting up and leaving the room without another word.

Frank just sat there for a moment, trying to process everything that had just happened.

He understood where Mikey was coming from, but it still annoyed him.

He ended up leaving without saying goodbye, seeing as he had to meet up with a few clients for business.

He really hated his job, but he was pretty much fucked until he could find a job that could support him like this one did.

His supplier was just so generous with his pay, Frank got almost half of all the sales, no one made that much profit from dealing drugs.

-

After Frank was done meeting up with clients for the most part, he stopped by the store to pick up some cleaning supplies, knowing they were going to need some heavy duty stuff to clean up Gerard's room.

It almost seemed like a better plan to just burn the place down, but he figured Mikey might not like that much.

Then he picked up some lunch right before he went to pick up Gerard, that way Gerard could have something to eat after work.

That resulted in him being late, but Gerard was still sat outside waiting for him.

He looked a bit sad at first, probably fearing Frank had forgotten about him, but the second he saw Frank's car his eyes lit up.

"Hey." Gerard grinned as he got into the car. "I was afraid you forgot me or something."

"I could never forget you." Frank smiled, leaning over to greet Gerard with a kiss. "I just picked you up lunch, the line was long as fuck."

"Oh." Gerard blushed, glancing down at the bag of food. "You didn't have to do that."

"Aren't you hungry?" Frank questioned as they pulled out of the parking lot.

Gerard's stomach rumbled a few moments later, answering the question itself.

Gerard just felt bad that Frank had bought him food, but after he realized Frank wasn't going to take no for an answer, he decided to ignore that feeling and eat the food while they drove back to his house.

Cleaning was next, which was neither of their favorites, but Frank knew it had to be done, and that's how he found himself standing in the middle of Gerard's room, cleaning supplies in hand.

The first thing he did was open the window though, this room was in desperate need of fresh air. 

Gerard started to pick up his dirty clothes then, checking all the pockets even though he knew he had already done that a million times while searching for drug money.

"Wait!" Gerard shrieked as Frank leaned down to pick up the towel, the towel hiding the foul mixture of puke and come. "Y-You should let me handle that."

Frank raised an eyebrow, but didn't question it, instead he turned his attention elsewhere as Gerard desperately tried scooping up the chunks of vomit and dried come, trying to make it look like puke only.

He did a pretty good job, he thought, and quickly rushed downstairs before tossing the towel in the outside garbage.

It was a lost cause by this point, nothing would save it from that horrid smell.

"What happened there?" Frank questioned after Gerard returned, glancing down and the puke stain.

"Got sick?" Gerard mumbled, trying to sound sure. 

Frank just cringed as he searched through their cleaning supplies, practically soaking the area with carpet cleaner.

That was definitely a main source of the foul smell, and Frank was grateful as it was replaced with the clean scent of the cleaner.

"When was the last time you washed your bed sheets and blankets?" Frank questioned as he gazed over the bed, trying not to look disgusted at the clearly stained sheets.

"You're suppose to wash your bed sheets?" 

"Oh god," Frank groaned, instantly stripping the bed of the sheets. "Where is your washer and dryer?" 

Frank held his breath as he followed Gerard to the washer, practically pouring the entire thing of detergent into the wash after the items were in.

"I'm sorry." Gerard mumbled embarrassed, starting to regret even letting Frank into his room. "I know I'm gross-"

Frank silenced him with a kiss, assuring him he was no such thing, and soon they were back to cleaning.

After what seemed like hours, and several cans of carpet cleaner and febreeze, they were finally done.

"C-Can I have a line?" Gerard asked timidly, glancing at the drugs he had on his dresser.

"How many do you usually take in a day?" 

"Two or three?" Gerard guessed, he never really kept track. 

"Okay, you can have one line, but that's it."

Gerard didn't respond again, he just happily walked over to his drugs, cutting himself a generous line.

Frank didn't want to watch him do it, so he focused his attention on Gerard's walls, admiring a piece of art he hadn't realized was there.

He was so distracted by the art that he didn't realize Gerard had took the line, and he didn't hear him as Gerard snuck up behind him.

He only became aware that Gerard was there as he was spun around, being shoved up against the wall as a pair of lips connected with his own.

Frank groaned into the kiss as Gerard grabbed his wrists, pinning them above Frank's head.

"G-Gerard-" Frank stuttered out, gasping quietly as Gerard forced his thigh between Frank's legs. "I- I wanna change my word- don't stop when I say stop, okay?"

"When do I stop then?" Gerard questioned with a sloppy smirk on his face.

"If I say 'red' stop, okay?"

Gerard responded with a simple nod, then everything was being resumed, a mess of sloppy kissing and grinding.

"Stop-" Frank panted as Gerard reached for his belt, his hands pressing against Gerard's chest weakly. "Don't-"

Frank moaned when Gerard didn't stop, and soon his pants were around his thighs, and Gerard's hand was around his dick.

Frank pushed against him then, trying to push him away; Gerard shoved him back up against the wall completely, his forehead resting against the others as his dark eyes glared into him.

"You better stop before I gag that pretty mouth of yours with my cock." Gerard growled, basking in the moan that left Frank's lips.

"Do it-" Frank whimpered, the thought of Gerard forcing his dick down his throat causing his own dick to pulse wildly against his stomach. "Please-"

Frank was forced onto his knees then, staring wide eyed at Gerard as he undid his pants.

Frank wanted to try something though, he wanted to see how Gerard would react if he tried to 'run away'.

So that's what he did, as soon as Gerard had his pants down Frank tried to bolt past him.

Frank was very pleased with the outcome though, because he had barely made it a few inches before Gerard's hand was tangled in his hair, yanking his head back harshly, causing him to cry out loudly.

The second Frank's mouth opened for that cry, Gerard shoved in all at once, forcing Frank to deep throat him instantly.

That caused Frank to gag and clutch desperately onto Gerard's thighs, but he adjusted quickly, relaxing his throat and allowing Gerard to thrust in as hard as he wanted.

Tears were streaming down his face, but Frank was in pure ecstasy, his own hand eventually dropping down so he could pump himself.

"You fucking like that, don't you?" Gerard growled, his hand still fisted in Frank's hair, holding his head in place. 

Frank could only whimper in response, forcing his hand away from his crotch, knowing it wouldn't take much to make him come with the way Gerard was fucking his mouth.

"Gonna fuck you so hard-" Gerard groaned out, shoving in roughly a few more times before pulling away. "Fuck- get up." 

Frank stumbled to his feet, gasping as he was spun around, his face being forced against the wall by Gerard's hand.

"C-Condom and lube are in my jacket pocket-" Frank gasped out, reaching blindly for his pocket, managing to pull out the items.

He knew Gerard was going to want this, so he came prepared.

Waiting for Gerard to put the condom on was torture, he made a mental note to have them both go get tested for STD's so if Gerard was clean, they could stop using them.

"No prep?" Gerard questioned once the condom and lube was applied, wanting to double check seeing as for him even with the prep it hurt like hell at first.

"No prep." Frank answered impatiently, placing his arms against the wall for leverage. "Just fuck me hard-"

And Gerard did just that.

Frank screamed as Gerard pushed in all at once, his body pushing back against it instantly as he sucked in air, feeling like his lungs were shriveling up in his chest.

That's when Gerard wrapped his arms around Frank, one arm draped around Frank's neck, the other around his waist, making any possible movement from the other practically impossible.

"Fuck-" Frank choked out, his hands clutching onto Gerard's forearm across his neck, thrashing weakly against the hold as Gerard thrust up into him. "Please-"

His thrusts were shallow and rough, their close positioning making anything else impossible, but he was pushing in at the perfect angle, hitting Frank in the most sensitive spot each time.

"Gerard-" Frank cried out, his eyes shut so tightly he saw dots. "Ah, fuck-"

Frank couldn't even move anymore, his body had been paralyzed from the pleasure, the only reason he was still upright was because of Gerard's hold on him.

"I'm gonna come-" His head thrown back against Gerard's shoulder. "Shit fuck-"

Frank lost it then, he came completely untouched, a loud cry leaving his lips as he did so.

Gerard was no where near finished yet though, so he continued thrusting into Frank, the whimpers emitting from Frank driving him crazy.

"I'm not gonna stop." Gerard growled against Frank ear, tightening his grip about Frank's trembling body.

"K-Kay-" Frank stuttered out, too weak to form a proper sentence, or word, for that matter.

In all reality he didn't want Gerard to stop, yeah, it hurt like hell, but Frank was a bit of a pain slut.

Besides, the grunts that were leaving Gerard's lips had Frank feeling faint, he had never in his entire life heard something so arousing.

He wished he could help in some way, but his body was fucking done after that, his knees had long buckled, his only support being Gerard and the wall.

Gerard didn't seem to mind though, he just continued slamming into Frank, loud grunts spilling from behind his clenched teeth.

He was definitely enjoying himself, especially once Frank randomly regained some energy, Frank's body starting to move back against his own.

It was weak and soft, but neither of the two expected more, not after Frank had already came.

However Frank's attention was caught though, as he heard the front door of the house open and close.

"Fuck!" Gerard cursed, resting his head on Frank's shoulder. "Mikey's home-"

"Hurry-" Frank gasped, crying out loudly as Gerard increased his speed. "Fuck-"

"Be quiet." Gerard hissed, his hand coming up to cover Frank's mouth before he even realized he was doing it.

Frank's eyes widened at that, but then they were rolling back; he was definitely getting hard again, slowly but surely, but if Mikey was here, as soon as Gerard got off they would have to stop, he knew that.

It wouldn't take Gerard long, especially as Frank raised his own hand over Gerard's, his mouth opening as he sucked two of Gerard's fingers into it.

"Fuck this is so hot-" Gerard whispered against Frank's ear, leaning down to suck on his jaw. "I'm gonna come-"

Barely a few moments later Gerard was hiding his face in the side of Frank's neck, crying out hoarsely as he came inside the condom.

He pulled out but stayed close to Frank, holding him closely as they both fought to catch their breath.

"You good?" Gerard managed after a few moments, earning a weak laugh from Frank.

"I'm perfect."

Gerard grinned and pulled away, not noticing how Frank had to catch himself from falling by clutching onto Gerard's dresser.

"I'm gonna go get some water."

"Okay, I'll meet you out there in a minute." Frank responded, knowing it would take him a minute to be able to walk again.

"Okay." Gerard smiled, leaning in to kiss Frank before he tossed the condom, fixing his pants and rushing out of the room with a quiet giggle.

"Fuck-" Frank gasped once Gerard was gone, collapsing to the floor as his entire body gave out. "Jesus Christ-"

He just sat there in practically a puddle of whimpers, his body trembling.

He didn't regret anything though, that was fucking awesome, he was just going to feel it for a while.

And he was still half fucking hard, just sitting there on the floor, his dick half hard and out.

He really thought about jerking off, but he figured he didn't have time, and that Gerard would be expecting him out there soon.

So, with the energy he didn't have, he hauled himself to his feet, fixing his pants before literally limping out of Gerard's room.

He hit a road block instantly, and that being Mikey walking down the hallway.

"Hey!" Frank tried to greet normally, attempting to straighten out his posture to look casual, and failing as a soft cry left his lips.

"What the fuck happened to you?"

"Nothing." Frank forced a smile, attempting to continue on his journey, but falling against the wall. "Fuck."

Gerard appeared then, just now realizing how much that had taken a toll on Frank. 

"Frank!" Gerard gasped, his high gone now, rushing over to him. "Fuck, I'm sorry- I didn't mean to hurt you-"

It all clicked in Mikey's head then, and his face twisted up in disgust when he realized the two were just having sex.

Kinky fucking sex too, considering Frank could barely walk.

Mikey was disgusted to say the least, but he was slightly relieved to know Gerard wasn't on the receiving end, for all he knew anyways.

If Gerard had been the one not able to walk, there would be some serious fucking problems, but since it was Frank, Mikey just scurried away, gagging softly to himself.

"I'm fine, Gee." Frank smiled, trying to ignore the blush on his cheeks. "Just sore."

"Do you want me to carry you to the living room?"

"I'm fine." Frank laughed weakly, even though that sounded much better than forcing his legs to move him there himself.

"I'm gonna anyways."

Gerard gently picked him up bridal style then, and Frank couldn't help the obnoxious giggle that left his lips as Gerard picked him up.

"That's really fucking cute." Gerard commented, gently placing Frank down on the couch. "Wanna watch a movie?"

"That sounds nice." Frank nodded, watching as Gerard rushed around getting everything ready, which included making them a bag of popcorn.

"Baby?" Frank questioned softly as Gerard sat next to him, covering the both of them in a blanket. "Can I ask something?" He knew it was rocky territory, but he had to try. "Can you invite Mikey to watch the movie with us?"

"Why?" Gerard frowned, seeming slightly annoyed.

"Because he's your brother and I'd like to get to know him better." Frank tried, when really he wanted to say 'because he's your fucking brother and he's worried about you, spend some time with him'.

Gerard just stared at him for a moment, wanting to say no, but he found himself unable to as Frank looked over at him with those beautiful eyes.

"Okay." He mumbled. "Mikey?" He called out, turning his head towards the hallway. "Mikey!"

After a few moments the other man entered the room, looking extremely nervous, considering Gerard hadn't talked to him first in ages.

"Do you wanna watch a movie with us?"

Mikey looked shocked, but more than that, he looked excited.

"O-Okay." He replied nervously, clearly not wanting to ruin this opportunity, cautiously walking over and sitting next to him.

Nothing else was said as the movie started, but it was already one of the best moments he's had in weeks, all because his brother was with him.

Frank and Gerard cuddled up together then, and they all sat in silence as they watched the pictures dance across the screen.

However, things got interesting when Gerard placed his hand on Frank's thigh, Frank's body was still slightly effected from earlier, and Gerard's hand placement wasn't helping at all.

It wasn't long before Gerard realized Frank was hard, and Frank should have been afraid at the look Gerard gave him afterwards.

Mikey already didn't like Frank, and Frank didn't want to make that worse by getting caught fooling around under the blankets, but he couldn't find it in himself to pull Gerard's hand away as it slipped down his pants.

Frank swallowed hard at the contact, glancing nervously at Mikey to see if he had noticed, but with the way they were sitting, you couldn't tell what was going on under the blanket.

Gerard just smirked to himself as he looked back to the TV, his hand slowly rubbing Frank in his pants.

Frank's heart was beating so fucking fast, but the thrill only made him harder, and he managed to let out a quiet whimper as Gerard kissed him.

Gerard's smirk just grew, and his motions inside Frank's pants increased, his index finger rubbing back and forth against the slit rough and fast.

It was becoming increasingly difficult to keep quiet, and the movie wasn't all that loud either so Frank couldn't just play it off like the sound came from the movie. 

"Gee-" Frank hissed quietly, unnoticed by Mikey. "You gotta stop."

"What's that?" Gerard whispered back. "You want me to go faster?"

Frank opened his mouth to correct Gerard, but forced it shut as Gerard started pumping him quickly, his grip tight.

"Have you ever seen this movie, Mikey?" Gerard spoke casually then, turning his attention over to his brother as Frank tried not to squirm under the blanket.

He was getting closer and closer, and Gerard was just talking to Mikey like nothing was going on.

At least he was talking to Mikey though, that was a win, Frank supposed.

And Mikey was too distracted by the fact that Gerard was talking to him to notice that Frank was panting quietly, sweat forming on his forehead as he squeezed his eyes shut.

"What about you?" Mikey suddenly asked, his attention to Frank. "Have you seen this movie?"

Frank froze, his eyes wide as he swallowed hard, wondering if he'd be able to answer without letting a moan slip.

"N-No." He stuttered out, curling his toes as he fought off his orgasm. 

"Are you alright?" Mikey questioned, looking genuinely concerned.

"Y-Yeah." Frank nodded quickly, hoping Mikey would just drop it.

"Are you sure?"

Mikey was pushing it, his gaze still on Frank, but Frank was about to lose it, and if Mikey was looking at his face when he did, they'd be caught.

Luckily a few seconds later an action scene happened, and Mikey's attention was pulled for a few moments, and during those few moments Frank threw his head back, stiffing a moan as he came in his pants.

"I'm just-" Frank managed to speak breathlessly, wiping his forehead discretely. "I'm not feeling too well."

"Do you want me to get you some water?"

"That would actually be really nice, thank you."

Mikey nodded and paused the movie, getting up and walking to the kitchen without a clue.

"Gerard!" Frank hissed then, but lost his train of thought as Gerard removed his hand, raising the come covered limb to his lips, sucking his fingers into his mouth. "Oh my god-"

Gerard just giggled as he finished licking up the come, leaning in to kiss Frank softly afterwards.

"Fuck, baby, you are so hot-"

"Can I have another line, Frankie?"

Frank's mood faltered instantly, especially since Gerard had already had a line barely two hours ago.

"No, baby..." Frank spoke slowly, not sure how Gerard would react. 

Gerard just stared at him for a moment, eventually letting out an angry huff and pulling away from him, his arms crossed stubbornly as he waited for Mikey to return.

He figured he would just wait until Frank left, then he would do the line, and no one could stop him.

Frank was smarter than that though.


	6. Chapter 6

"What are you doing?" Gerard gasped, watching with wide eyes as Frank packed away his drugs into his backpack.

"I'm taking them." 

"No!" Gerard exclaimed, trying to grab the backpack. "They're mine!"

"Gerard." Frank snapped, pulling the backpack out of his hold. "You cannot get clean if these are here."

"You said I could still do a little bit!"

"And you can, just not tonight." Frank tried helplessly to explain, knowing it was like talking to a brick wall.

"Please?" Gerard begged, grabbing Frank's hand instead. "I promise I won't take too much-"

Frank sighed, trying to think of a new game plan, knowing Gerard wasn't going to let him leave with the drugs.

But then like a cartoon, he had a plan.

If Gerard wouldn't let him leave with the drugs, then he would just have to stay and watch them.

"If the drugs stay, so do I."

Gerard didn't reply right away, he just stared at Frank.

Obviously he wanted to spend time with Frank, but right now he just wanted to take a line, and he knew Frank wouldn't let him if he was here.

"But-"

"No." Frank interrupted. "Either I stay, or I leave and take the drugs, your choice."

Gerard could only huff in response, knowing he wouldn't even have a chance at getting a line if Frank left.

Or, he could just go out and see Bert, or find one of those other dealers.

But him and Bert always ended up fooling around, and he didn't want that awkwardness of saying no, especially if Bert had supplied him with drugs.

The other dealers seemed sketchy to him too though, and he didn't have any money, which meant he would need to use sex to get them, and then he would be cheating on Frank, and he couldn't do that.

"This is bullshit!" Gerard finally snapped, stomping his foot like a child. "You said we were cutting down little by little! But I haven't even had half of what I'm used to! That is not little by little!!"

Frank cursed quietly to himself, Gerard had a point, he did say that.

He couldn't lose Gerard's trust, especially not at a time like this, and if he went back on what he said, which he was essentially doing, he'd lose it.

"You're right." Frank sighed, trying to think of a way to still make this work.

Gerard relaxed instantly, eyeing Frank's backpack desperately.

"I-I'm cutting the line for you though." Frank decided, hoping Gerard would be satisfied with a very thin line.

"Yes!" Gerard beamed, sitting down on his bed patiently. 

This had barely even started, and Frank was already exhausted. 

He stayed true to his word though, and slowly emptied a bit of coke onto a book of Gerard's, using his razorblade to cut it perfectly.

It wasn't much at all, and he knew Gerard was going to complain about it.

"What is this?" Gerard frowned, looking down at the book as Frank brought it over to him. "This is nothing!"

"Do you want it or not?" Frank snapped back, startling Gerard into grabbing the book quickly. "That's what I thought."

Gerard glared at Frank before slowly leaning down with his rolled up dollar bill, but the glare quickly fell as he snorted the line.

"Mmm fuck-" Gerard shivered, wiping his nose as he fell back against his bed. "So- fuck-"

Frank could only watch with a sad eye as Gerard hummed happily to himself, quiet giggles leaving his lips as he shifted around on the bed.

At least his sheets were clean now.

"Mmm, Frankie." Gerard giggled, rolling over before crawling towards Frank. "Frankie, get in bed with me..."

Frank wasn't in the mood at all, Gerard's temper tantrum during his first withdraws had left him exhausted, he wanted to go to sleep.

Besides, he had came a lot that day, there was no way he could do it again without some sleep.

"No, Gerard."

"Fine." Gerard giggled to himself, falling back onto his back, his hand flat on his stomach. "I'll start without you..."

Frank swallowed hard as Gerard slipped his hand inside his pants, a far too loud moan leaving his lips as he did so.

"Gerard-" Frank hissed. "Mikey is gonna hear you!"

Gerard didn't give a shit though, he was high as a kite, and all he could think about was how good his hand felt.

He was getting way too loud though, and as desperate measure, Frank climbed on top of him, covering his mouth completely with his hand.

That only fueled Gerard more though, feeling Frank on top of him like that, practically gagging him.

Out of instinct Gerard grabbed Frank's hand, shifting it a bit so he could force Frank's fingers into his mouth, keeping his sounds muffled while he sucked harshly on the digits.

"Jesus- fuck." Frank groaned, feeling Gerard's tongue swirl around his fingers making his head spin.

He really didn't want to get hard though, and he knew if Gerard didn't finish soon, he would.

So, he did the only thing he could think of, and he helped Gerard along.

Gerard squirmed desperately underneath him as Frank forced his other hand down Gerard's pants, jerking him off quickly at the awkward angle he had.

Luckily Gerard didn't take very long, and within minutes he was gasping for air, covering Frank's knuckles in a layer of his cum.

"Fuck-" Gerard heaved out, his chest rising and falling rapidly. "Your turn-"

"No, Gee, I'm tired, I just wanna go to sleep." Frank tried to explain, a yawn interrupting his sentence. "Am I staying the night?"

Gerard just stared at him for a moment, a bit shocked that Frank was turning down the opportunity to fool around, but then slowly nodded his head; he wanted to Frank to stay the night, and not just because then his drugs would be here.

He couldn't get to them anyways, because after he agreed to have Frank stay, Frank left the room and hid his backpack somewhere in the house.

Gerard was content at that moment though, he still had a buzz going, and he was about to lie in bed with Frank, things were perfect.

When Frank returned Gerard had already cleaned himself up, and was snuggled under the blankets waiting for him.

Gerard was relaxed, which Frank was so relieved to see, there would be no way he'd get any sleep if Gerard was still irritable. 

Yes, it was just because he had gotten his fix, but Frank knew eventually he'd be this way all on his own.

So with a tired smile, he pulled his shirt over his head, and kicked off his pants, joining Gerard in the freshly made bed.

"I'm sorry." Gerard whispered, his wide eyes showing nothing but sincerity as he gazed at Frank.

"What for, baby?" 

"For being so moody earlier..." he cast his gaze away then. "I-It's just so hard-"

Franks previous annoyance slipped away at that, seeing Gerard's guilty face making him forget all about it.

"It's okay, baby." Frank whispered, grabbing Gerard's hand and lifting it to his mouth to place kisses on his knuckles. "It is hard, and I know it'll be rough, but the fact that you're trying, means everything."

"Promise you'll stay?" Gerard whispered, his gaze still avoiding Frank. "At least until I'm clean..."

"I already promised you that." Frank smiled, using his hand to force Gerard's gaze on him. "But yes, I promise I will stay by your side, even after you're clean."

Gerard didn't respond verbally at first, he just wrapped his arms around Frank, pressing their lips together softly.

"You can do whatever it takes." Gerard whispered. "To get me clean... you can do whatever you need to."

Gerard knew this was going to be hard, especially once he was cut off completely, and he knew Frank would have to go to some desperate measures to prevent him from getting those drugs.

"Do you mean that, baby?" Frank questioned softly, resting his hand on the side of Gerard's face; Frank knew it too, and he was worried about how he'd prevent Gerard from getting the drugs in other places when he became desperate.

But if Gerard was giving him permission to do anything necessary, then it might not be all that hard.

"Y-You won't hurt me." Gerard spoke, half like a question, half like a statement.

"I won't." Frank assured, leaning in to kiss Gerard reassuringly. "I promise."

"Then yes... I mean it."

-

The next day was not a good one, and it all started because Frank wouldn't let Gerard take a line before work.

Even with the promise of having one after work, Gerard was still pissy when he walked into work that morning.

Frank had dropped him off, but they hadn't talked the whole car ride there.

Then, Gerard's boss was back, and of course complained about Gerard being one minute late to work.

Gerard just gritted his teeth, forcing out an apology as he felt his anger slowly starting to bubble up inside him.

If his boss continued giving him shit, he was going to snap, which is something he really couldn't afford to do.

He wanted Lindsey back, Lindsey was nice, and helpful, this guy was just an asshole.

Time ticked by and unfortunately things just kept getting worse, it was like his boss could sense he was having a shitty day, and got off on making it worse.

'You missed a spot on the table, reclean them all.'

'You need to handle the rush faster, costumers were becoming inpatient.'

'Stop moping and smile at the costumers.'

At this point Gerard knew his snap was coming, so he calmly asked his boss if he could take his break, and when he said no, well that's when all hell broke loose.

"No, you need to do the dishes."

Gerard had clenched his fists as he walked over to the sink, but as he grabbed a glass mug, he lost it.

"You know what?" Gerard growled, turning around to face his boss, who was sitting down lazily. "You want the dishes clean? How about you get off your lazy fat ass and do it yourself!" 

He chucked the mug at the wall then, shattering it into a million pieces.

"I'm not working to your satisfaction?" Gerard repeated a previous comment his boss had made. "I'm working my ass off while you sit like a lazy fuck! All you do is complain, and moan and groan, and then complain some more! If you don't like it then you do it!" 

Gerard was practically screaming by this point, and his boss had the balls to tell him not to speak to him like that.

"What? You don't like it?" Gerard snarled, walking towards him. "You don't like being talked down to? Don't like being ordered around, or yelled at?"

His boss just stared at him with angry eyes, his face red with rage.

"You're the worlds shittiest boss!" He screamed once his boss didn't speak. "Lindsey was a way better-"

"Get out." His boss suddenly interrupted him, forcing Gerard back into reality, in which he realized what he had just done. 

"But-"

"You're fired!"

Panic set in then, Gerard couldn't afford to lose this job, if he lost this job, Mikey would kick him out.

"Please-" Gerard begged, clasping his hands together and everything. "I- I didn't mean it-"

"Get out!" He screamed, pointing angrily at the door, leaving Gerard with no other option.

Gerard ran out of the building, his throat closing up as he felt his chest tighten.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck-" Gerard chanted, tugging at his hair as he rushed away from the store. "You fucking idiot you-" 

He started crying then, his legs giving out and sending him down onto the concrete, his head pounding as tears blurred his vision.

Luckily he was out of sight from the public view for the most part, he had stormed behind another building, so the walls hid him.

Fear is what he felt most, fear of the argument he and Mikey were going to have now.

He would have to beg Mikey to let him stay, but after the shitty brother he had been towards the other, he doubted Mikey would let him.

This was the last straw, Mikey had told him that, Mikey had said after the last time Gerard fucked up he had one more chance, but Gerard never took him seriously until now.

The panic attack Gerard was having right now was too severe, he had to distract himself somehow before it killed him.

Unfortunately for Gerard, it was seven in the morning, all the liquor shops were closed, Frank had all his drugs, and Bert was no doubt passed out somewhere shitfaced.

He had nothing to turn to, and that thought had his body trembling like mad.

"You look like you're having a bad morning." A voice suddenly spoke, scaring the shit out of Gerard in the process.

Gerard glanced up nervously at the voice, a man had appeared out of fucking no where, shades covering his eyes and a long coat covering his body.

"I have something that will help that..."

Gerard recognized him then, he was one of the local drug dealers.

A spike of calmness rushed over him then, that is, until he remembered he didn't have any cash.

"I- I don't have any money."

"That's okay." The man smiled, stepping closer to Gerard as he reached into his pocket. "The first times free..."

"R-Really? Gerard gasped, wiping his teary eyes. "D-Do you have blow?"

"Oh, I have something much better than blow." The man smirked, pulling out a small bag of powder, which looked like cocaine.

Gerard tilted his head in confusion, but didn't move as the man sat down next to him.

"You smoke this." The man started to explain, pulling out a small piece of tinfoil. "With this."

"I- I don't understand." Gerard frowned, his eyebrows furrowing together as the man continued preparing the drug. 

"You don't have to." The man smiled. "Just trust me, it'll make you feel better."

"O-Okay." Gerard nodded slowly, scooting closer to the man to watch what he was doing. "And its for free?"

"First time is always free..."

"Wow." Gerard smiled then for the first time all morning. "Thank you so much."

The man didn't respond, he just sat there with a smirk, pulling out his lighter.

Then he instructed Gerard on what to do, and Gerard frowned as he was handed a little straw, but held it over the tinfoil none the less.

The man didn't ask Gerard if he was ready, he just lit his lighter, holding it under the tinfoil.

Gerard closed his eyes just as he was about to inhale, but his attention was quickly pulled as he heard someone calling out his name.

He pulled away and glanced around, but saw no one; someone had called his name though, he knew he wasn't making that up.

"Take it!" The man urged, forcing Gerard's head back towards the drugs. "Do it now!"

Gerard didn't like being ordered around though, and the fact that the man was being so pushy sent tons of red flags up in his mind.

"Gerard?" The voice called out again, this time closer, and Gerard recognized it as Frank's.

"I- I don't want to do it anymore." Gerard stuttered out, trying to pull away, but the man grabbed him.

"Take the hit you bitch!" He growled, forcing Gerard's head towards the drugs again.

"Frank!" Gerard shrieked, keeping his lips sealed after that as the man tried to force the straw between his lips.

They struggled, but the man was bigger than Gerard and was able to overpower him pretty easily.

"Hey!" Frank yelled the second Gerard and the man came into view. "Get off of him!" Frank bolted towards the two then, knocking the man off of Gerard, and onto his back. 

His fist came down against the mans face instantly, another blow coming seconds later when he noticed the heroin that had fallen to the ground.

"Frank-" Gerard sobbed, scooting away from the scene nervously.

"Gerard, go get in the car!" Frank yelled, hitting the man again. "Now!"

Gerard scurried away then, tears streaming down his face as he found Frank's car parked in front of the Starbucks.

He climbed into the front seat, hiding his face behind his knees as he sobbed, silently praying Frank would return soon.

Luckily, he returned only a few moments later.

"Fuck!" Frank cursed, glancing down at his bloody fist, his whole hand shaking from the pain. "What the fuck were you thinking!?" He seethed then, looking up at Gerard. "That was heroin, Gerard!"

Gerard couldn't breathe, and he most definitely couldn't respond; he just sucked in as much air as he could, tears streaming down his face as Frank groaned in pain as he started the car and put it into drive.

Frank didn't realize Gerard was having a panic attack until they were a few blocks away, but once he glanced over at Gerard to see his rapid breathing and trembling body, he quickly pulled over.

"Gerard, breathe-" Frank tried to instruct calmly, but Gerard just looked back at him with wide terrified eyes. "Breathe, baby." Frank lifted his uninjured hand to cup Gerard's face. "Come on, deep breath with me, in-" He inhaled deeply, watching as Gerard did the same. "And out-" He slowly released the breath, and so did Gerard.

It took several of those for Gerard to finally calm down, but eventually his breathing returned to normal, and he relaxed in his seat.

"I-I'm s-sorry-" Gerard stuttered out, gazing into his lap shamefully. "I- I didn't know-"

"What happened at work, baby?" Frank questioned softly, resting his hand on Gerard's thigh in a supportive manner. 

Frank had showed up to bring Gerard some breakfast, seeing as he woke up too late to get anything, and Gerard's boss had told him he was fired.

He knew it had happened recently, so he searched the area for Gerard, and that's when he found the two behind the building.

"G-Got fired." He sniffled, his breathing increasing once he thought about it again. "My boss is so mean, Frankie, and I- I just snapped-" He started crying again, his hand clutching on top of Frank's desperately. "M-Mikey's gonna kick me out- I'm gonna be like that man-"

"Shh-" Frank soothed, flipping his hand so he could hold Gerard's. "He's not going to kick you out, baby... and if he does, well, you can stay with me."

"P-Promise?" Gerard sniffled, finally looking up at Frank.

"I promise." Frank smiled genuinely, leaning in to kiss Gerard softly a moment later. "I won't let you turn into that man, I promise."

Gerard continued to kiss Frank after that, his heart beaming with affection for the other.

He didn't understand why Frank cared so much about him, or even liked him for that matter, but as Frank drove him home, he wasn't going to question it.

-

"Please." Gerard begged, tugging on Frank's arm. 

They had been at Gerard's house for a few hours now, and Frank was trying desperately to distract Gerard from wanting a line.

"How about this." Frank sighed, trying to think of something to distract him some more. "How about, we go take a shower, and have some lunch, and if you still want to after that, you can."

"Shower?"

Perfect, Gerard was already distracted.

"Yeah..." Frank grinned, biting his lip softly. 

"Okay." Gerard nodded eagerly, practically jumping off of the couch and grabbing Frank's uninjured hand. "Let's go."

Frank's hand was bruised as fuck, he had cleaned it earlier though, and luckily very little of the blood on his hand was his own.

Nothing seemed broken, but he still needed help undressing as they prepared for their shower.

The shower itself started out innocent enough, they stood face to face, and Gerard was far too entertained with the way Frank's tattoos looked while wet.

His fingertips traced over each one, his eyes focused as he made sure not to miss a single spot.

The ones he was most intrigued by were the birds on Frank's stomach, and he was quickly becoming obsessed with the way Frank would shiver as his fingertips trailed over that area.

"I like these." Gerard mumbled, his hand gliding onto Frank's hip, which he held tightly.

"Yeah?" Frank mumbled absentmindedly, leaning into Gerard's touch as he pressed their lips together.

The conversation stopped then, instead they just continued to kiss, Gerard's hands slowly sliding behind Frank to squeeze his ass as he pushed forward.

That's when the kiss broke, a shaky moan from Frank interrupting it.

"Let's have sex." Gerard whispered, lowering his face into the crook of Frank's neck, where he began kissing softly.

"We can't." Frank groaned, his uninjured hand clutching Gerard's arm. "We don't have a condom."

"Why do we need one?" Gerard groaned himself, pulling away to look at Frank with an annoyed expression. "It's not like we can get pregnant."

"J-Just to be safe, Gerard." Frank tried to explain, not wanting it to sound like he didn't trust Gerard or anything. "Don't you wanna make sure I don't have any STD's first?"

He added that last part to ensure Gerard didn't think it was himself, even if it may rise suspicion with Gerard.

"We can go get checked out soon and then we don't have to use them anymore, okay?" Frank added when Gerard didn't respond right away. 

"Can we go after our shower?" 

Gerard was inpatient, apparently, but the constant activities throughout the day would keep him somewhat distracted from the drugs, so Frank agreed instantly.

Gerard didn't respond verbally then, he just shoved Frank up against the wall, their lips meeting in a slippery kiss as Gerard ground himself against Frank.

"Fuck-" Frank groaned, his head falling back against the wall as Gerard moved down to his neck. "What are you doing, baby?"

"Gonna suck you off." Gerard muttered, his lips moving down Frank's chest until he stopped over one of his nipples, swirling his tongue around it slowly before biting down harshly on the bud.

Gerard knew Frank was into pain, and that was proven as Frank's hips jerked forward, a loud cry leaving his lips as he held Gerard's head there.

"M-More-" Frank begged, his hips moving slowly against Gerard, getting the friction his body craved.

Gerard complied instantly, sucking harshly at the skin before biting down, and then moving over to the other and mimicking his actions.

The sounds leaving Frank's lips were the definition of sin, it made Gerard's whole body ache with need, so before Frank lost it by practically humping Gerard, Gerard lowered to his knees, his eyes staring up at Frank as he pumped him slowly.

The sight was sinful as well, Gerard's eyes locked with Frank's as he slowly licked at the tip, his own hand reaching down to give his own aching cock some attention, the action causing him to let out a hot breath against Frank's tip.

Everything was building, Gerard was teasing; slowly dragging his tongue along Frank's length, moaning as he nuzzled his cheek against it-

That's when Frank snapped, the teasing had brought his lust up to dangerous levels, and as the need to come grew, he lost control of himself.

Gerard gasped as Frank yanked his head back by his hair, straining Gerard's neck as he forced his swollen cock down Gerard's throat.

It took a moment for Gerard to adjust, but it was mere moments before Frank was thrusting harshly into Gerard's mouth, his head thrown back in bliss as he finally got what his body was craving.

"You like that?" Frank growled as his head lolled forward, his teeth clenched as he watched Gerard desperately jerk himself off. "Fuck yeah you do."

Gerard was whimpering as tears streamed down his face, his hips jerking forward into his hand as Frank continuously pounded into the back of his throat.

"Not gonna last long, baby." Frank growled, his grip in Gerard's hair somehow becoming tighter.

Gerard came then, a strangled cry vibrating against Frank's cock, the pleasure radiating all the way down to his toes.

"Fuck!" Frank cried out, pulling back just enough to where Gerard could comfortably suck him through his orgasm.

Which he did, his lips sealed around the tip, swallowing down every ounce of saliva and come that had flooded his mouth.

"Fuck, baby." Frank sighed as he pulled Gerard off of him, because the other didn't seem to want to stop. "So good."

Gerard loved the praise, no one ever praised him, and the act had his whole body buzzing with satisfaction.

"Did I do good?" Gerard grinned shyly to himself, his voice coming out raspy and used, still on his knees in front of Frank.

"You did so good, baby." Frank sighed again, gesturing for Gerard to stand up again. "Don't think I've ever come so fast from a blowjob before."

Gerard's grin just grew as he leaned in to kiss Frank, the other humming happily as he gently rubbed the sides of Gerard's body.

-

When Frank said they'd go get tested, Gerard didn't realize that would involve getting a needle shoved into your arm, followed by them stealing your blood.

Frank had done it no problem, but Gerard practically fainted as he watched it happen.

In hindsight, Frank going first was probably a bad idea, seeing as Gerard witnessed the whole thing, and was now even more afraid to endure it.

To make matters worse, the nurses were too afraid to try and hold him down, so after about twenty minutes of resisting, Frank took it upon himself to pin Gerard down.

He tried not to make it sexual as he climbed on top of him, his forearm coming out against Gerard's chest to keep him down, seeing as he couldn't use his hurt hand.

"Frank!" Gerard shrieked, pushing against the hold. "No no no!"

"Gerard-" Frank hissed quietly, leaning in to whisper in his ear. "If you don't do this, we're never having sex again."

As probably noticed earlier on, sex with Frank is something Gerard could not, and would not give up.

Honestly, if he had to choose between fucking Frank/ having Frank fuck him, or the drugs, he'd pick Frank.

Because it felt like he was on drugs while with Frank, Frank made him feel so fucking good, and he never had the crash afterwards.

So with a defeated whimper Gerard relaxed, his eyes squeezed shut as he turned his head as far away from the needle he could.

"Ow!" Gerard wailed as she pushed in the needle, his eyes opening as they were flooded with tears. "Stop!" He sobbed, tears streaming down his face as the nurse tried to tell him they were almost done.

Realistically, it only hurt for that moment, but Gerard was so petrified that it seemed like he was dying.

"You can do it, baby." Frank whispered soothingly. "I know you can, you're so, so strong."

Gerard continued to cry until the nurse announced they were done, and then desperately wrapped one arm around Frank, the other arm still extended because he was too afraid to move it.

"All done." Frank soothed, rubbing Gerard's back softly as his cries slowly died down against his chest. "You did so good, I'm so proud of you."

"Y-You are?" Gerard sniffled, pulling away to search for any falsity in Frank's words. "You're proud of me?"

"I'm so proud of you." Frank smiled genuinely, leaning down to kiss Gerard. "You were so afraid, but you still did it, baby, that's amazing."

Gerard just kinda stared at him in awe, not really sure what to say in response to that.

"Thank you." He settled for, his gaze falling then. "No one is ever proud of me."

"Well, I am." Frank assured, lifting his gaze. "Now how about we go get that lunch- or rather dinner, at this point, we talked about earlier."

-

Gerard scarfed down his food like he always did, his body still wasn't used to the proper meals, he had been living off things like chips and leftover pastries for weeks at that point.

It wasn't like he never had food to eat, he was just always too high to remember about it, so he ended up only eating at work, which was usually the only time he was sober.

After they were done, Frank went to grab the bill, but Gerard swiped it from under his hand.

Despite being fired, he had gotten paid today, and he wanted to treat Frank for once.

"Gerard-"

"Frankie, let me treat you, please." Gerard practically begged, clutching the bill against his chest. "I even got paid today, and I know it's my last paycheck, but please?"

"Okay, okay." Frank sighed. "But next time, I'm buying."

Gerard smiled and pulled out his wallet, searching through the barely together item before finally finding his worn down debit card.

Hopefully the strip was readable.

"Thank you, baby." Frank smiled, grabbing Gerard's hand over the table.

"H-How's your hand?" Gerard stuttered out, gazing at the swollen limb. 

"It'll be okay." Frank assured, even though it hurt like hell. "I just need to ice it."

Gerard nodded, trying to ignore the guilt that was flooding his body.

If he hadn't been so stupid, Frank wouldn't have hurt his hand so badly.

"Don't worry." Frank spoke then, noticing Gerard's guilty expression. "I've had worse, trust me."

"Like?" Gerard mumbled, wanting to believe him.

"I got stabbed once." Frank replied casually, causing Gerard to practically choke on air.

"What?!"

"You didn't see the scar?" Frank added casually once again, lifting up his shirt a bit to reveal a scar on his side. "Someone thought I was jipping them, and when I assured them I wasn't, they stabbed me."

"W-What?" Gerard stuttered out. "H-How did you get out of that?"

"Well it didn't go very deep, and I don't do business unarmed, so I threatened him and he ran."

"Y-You're armed?"

"I have a pistol under the seat in my car." Frank nodded, finishing off his coffee. "Safety, you know?"

"Wow..." Gerard spoke softly. "That's crazy..."

"It is." Frank nodded again, smiling at the waitress as she returned Gerard's card. "Shall we go?" 

Gerard nodded and accepted Frank's hand once he held it out for him, and let Frank lead him out to his car.

By this point, Gerard was exhausted, so exhausted he didn't even think about the drugs.

So exhausted that when they returned to his house, he practically passed out on the couch.

Frank grinned as he gazed down at him, a proud smile on his face.

Gerard had gone a whole day without drugs.


	7. Chapter 7

Mikey was very upset that Gerard had lost his job, but luckily Gerard wasn't awake to witness his outburst.

Frank had stayed over again, and when he woke up that next morning he snuck out of Gerard's room to tell Mikey.

"Without his help it's going to take up my entire paycheck for bills!" Mikey exclaimed, throwing his hands up dramatically. "He fucking knew that-"

"Mikey," Frank interrupted softly, not wanting to upset him further. "We need to think of the positives here, if he's not stressing about work, it'll be easier to get him clean, it-"

"Frank, he's not going to get clean." Mikey sighed, resting his face in his hands. "He loves the drugs too much, and as much as I want to believe he can do it, I just don't."

That pissed Frank off a bit, because he knew if Gerard heard Mikey saying something like that he'd consider himself weak and unable, and that's where addicts tended to fall back into the habit.

He refrained from expressing that though, instead he decided to bring up the first of Gerard's accomplishments.

"He stayed sober all day yesterday." Frank spoke calmly, watching as Mikey's eyes widened in shock.

"H-He did?"

"He did." Frank nodded. "And I think if I can keep him away from it today as well, he'll be really close to being able to resist it."

"How are you going to do that?"

Frank didn't respond right away, he desperately tried to think of a way to explain this without sounding crazy.

"I'm gonna lock us in his room."

"How do you expect to do that? The lock is inside the door."

"With your help..." Frank mumbled, once again not wanting to sound crazy. "If you tie something on the doorknob, and tie it across the hall, he won't be able to open it."

"I don't know how well that'll work." Mikey muttered, crossing his arms.

"It's worth a shot, and he gave me permission to do whatever it took to get him clean, so I'm doing this. I'm not gonna tell him it's happening though, so after he wakes up I'll let him eat and go to the bathroom, anything he normally does, then when we go in there you do the doorknob thing."

Mikey was very hesitant to agree, but he was desperate at this point, so he reluctantly did.

-

"Hey, baby." Frank smiled as Gerard wandered into the living room with bedhead. "How'd you sleep?"

"Great until you left." Gerard giggled shyly, blushing as Frank got up to greet him with a kiss. "How about you?"

"I slept wonderfully." Frank grinned, holding Gerard's hand as they walked back to the couch where Mikey was.

"Good morning, Mikey." Gerard spoke softly, the unusual act feeling foreign to him. "Did you sleep well?"

Mikey was shocked, Gerard never greeted him, ever, and even though he had talked to him the night before, it was still a shock.

"I did." Mikey smiled genuinely, glancing at Frank momentarily as a thank you. "Thanks for asking."

Gerard just kinda nodded to himself, not having an actual response to that; within time that would change, he told himself.

However, he soon realized he had to tell Mikey he lost his job, obviously not knowing Frank had already spilled the news.

"Hey, Mikey?" Gerard spoke softly once again, avoiding all eye contact. "I have to tell you something..." he waited for Mikey to respond, but when he didn't, he sighed quietly before forcing the words out of his mouth. "I lost my job."

Gerard had expected yelling, probably a few flying objects through the living room, but what he wasn't expecting, was the soft hand on his shoulder.

"It's okay." Mikey whispered, looking into Gerard's eyes sincerely as Gerard looked up at him in shock. "As long as you're working on bettering yourself... I'm happy."

He was worried about their rent, but he didn't want to worry Gerard with that when he was making so much progress with getting clean.

"Y-You're not mad?" Gerard stuttered out, staring wide eyed at his brother. "But you said-"

"Shit happens, Gerard." Mikey interrupted him. "I'd appreciate a hug as a thank you though..."

Gerard just stared at him for a moment, but then he was standing to his feet, holding his arms open for his little brother.

It was amazing what one day of being clean had done, Frank could only imagine how wonderful it would be when Gerard was completely sober.

"I miss you." Mikey whispered as they embraced, and Frank took that as his cue to sneak away, leaving the two brothers to basically catch up.

That sentence alone had Gerard crying against his brothers shoulder; he never realized how much he missed Mikey until he heard the words coming out of the others mouth.

He was always too blinded by the drugs or cravings, but now that the drugs were mostly out of his system, he could see it clearly.

"I'm so sorry." Gerard whimpered, squeezing his little brother. "I- I don't know how it happened-"

"It's okay, Gerard, it's okay..." Mikey soothed, rubbing his back. "I love you."

"I'm gonna get clean, Mikey." Gerard sniffled, pulling away so Mikey could see the sincerity in his eyes. "I'm gonna get clean, and get a good job, and I'll be better, I promise... I already have gone one day without it, Mikey, I can do it."

"Yes, you can." Mikey agreed, his heart swelling at his brothers determination. "I believe in you."

"You do?" Gerard searched for any sense of falsity, but when he saw nothing but sincerity, he started crying again. "Thank you, Mikey, that means so much-"

Frank watched from around the corner as the two practically sobbed into the others shoulder, his own tears threatening to form at the beautiful scene in front of him.

They had a close relationship before, Frank could see it, and he could see it coming back, and that made his heart beam.

It also gave him more confidence in what he was going to do today, if Gerard was still so set on getting clean, he might not be angry about being locked in his room.

Frank would only know if he asked, and he risked that instead of surprising Gerard with it.

After Mikey and Gerard finally calmed down, Frank returned to the room, smiling softly as the two looked at him.

He proposed his idea then, and Gerard looked at him nervously.

It was scary to Gerard, being locked in a room... however, being locked in a room with Frank made it seem a lot more appealing.

"Okay." Gerard nervously agreed. "You can lock me in there."

"I'll be with you the whole time, I promise." Frank assured, but Gerard already trusted him, he didn't need further encouraging.

"I trust you." Gerard nodded. "Don't trust myself."

"You can do it." Frank whispered, leaning down to kiss him passionately. "Believe in yourself, baby."

It was very hard for Gerard to believe in himself, but with the way Frank was talking to him, he was sure he could pretend long enough to make himself believe it.

-

The first few hours were fine, they had moved the living room T.V. into Gerard's room, and had been laying back relaxing and watching movies.

Frank noticed as Gerard got fidgety with his hands though, and braced himself for what was about to come.

It had been probably three hours, and Mikey had left for work after making sure the door was securely locked from the outside; he wouldn't be back until late, which meant there was no possible way for the two to get out until then.

How did they go to the bathroom?

They definitely did not pee out the two story window, not at all.

"Frankie..." Gerard whispered after his fidgeting had gotten particularly bad. "C-Can I just have a little bit, like not even a line just-"

"No." Frank stated calmly, waiting for the pleading.

"Please, you can even cut it yourself, you can decide how much I have- I just, I need a little bit, Frankie, please? You said we could go slow, but we didn't go slow at all we-"

"Gee." Frank whispered, rubbing Gerard's side. "You went a whole day without it yesterday, you can do it again, and then again, and again."

"No, I can't!" Gerard snapped, pushing Frank's arms away from him and standing up off the bed. "A little bit won't hurt!"

Frank didn't say anything, knowing anything other than 'okay' would set him off on a rampage.

"Frank!" Gerard yelled then, pacing around the room. "Say something!"

"You're not getting any drugs, Gerard."

Clearly that was not the answer Gerard wanted, and out of anger he pounced on Frank, pinning his arms against the bed as he glared down at him.

"Give me the drugs."

"No." Frank shivered, pushing weakly at Gerard's hold.

"Give them to me!" Gerard screamed, trying to look threatening, but only turning Frank on in the process.

At this point though, Gerard knew the signs of Frank being turned on, and once he caught onto that, he tried to use it to his advantage. "I'll let you fuck me if you give me the drugs." Gerard practically purred, leaning down to kiss at Frank's neck. "I'll do anything you want."

Frank kept his mouth shut, knowing if he opened it, his mouth would agree without his brains consent, so he just kept him lips sealed, even as Gerard shoved his hand down his pants.

"So, do we have a deal?" Gerard tried to speak seductively, lifting his head to smile down at Frank.

Frank was able to force his head into shaking no though, and that resulted in Gerard letting out an angry huff and getting off the bed again.

"Fuck you." Gerard snarled, pacing back and forth in his room. "Fuck you, and fuck Mikey, and fuck everybody!"

Frank let him pace around, but once he started being destructive Frank had to step in and stop him.

"Let go!" Gerard screamed as Frank wrapped his arms around him, but due to Gerard's poor eating habits, Frank was able to push him back down on the bed, pinning him on his stomach with his body. "No!" Gerard screamed, thrashing under Frank. "I'm not having sex with you! Red! Red! Red! Stop!"

Frank wasn't doing anything sexual to him though, he was simply holding him against the bed until he calmed down, but for some reason Gerard was so set on Frank trying to fuck him.

"Gerard, stop." Frank hissed, trying to stop Gerard from squirming. "I'm not gonna do anything except this, I promise."

"Let me go!" Gerard wailed, continuing to struggle under Frank. "Please-"

He stopped fighting then, and just cried, and cried, and cried; he cried for so long, he cried until he finally passed out.

Frank sighed quietly and climbed off of Gerard then, cursing quietly at the boner he still had because of Gerard.

He was just so sensitive to Gerard, especially when Gerard got forceful like that; honestly, he was surprised he was able to deny Gerard.

Gerard wasn't asleep for very long, and before Frank knew it Gerard was curling up into a ball and sniffling against his knees.

"You can do it." Frank whispered, hesitantly sitting at the edge of the bed. "I know you can."

"Frankie, help." Gerard whimpered, hiding his face deeper against his knees. "My head hurts, everything hurts-"

"What can I do, baby?" Frank whispered, scooting closer to Gerard and rubbing his back. "What do you need?"

"Distraction." Gerard whimpered, slowly moving to snuggle up against Frank. "All I can think about is the drugs, make me think about something else-"

He really hoped this didn't set him off again, but all Frank could think of to do was kiss him, but luckily it seemed to be just what Gerard wanted, as he leaned in desperately when Frank connected their lips.

"Please, please, please-" Gerard begged, tugging at Frank's shirt. "Need you so bad-"

The craving for cocaine was morphing into the craving for Frank, and luckily he could satisfy this craving.

"You trust me, baby?" Frank mumbled into the kiss, pulling away to see Gerard nodding his head eagerly. "Lie on your stomach then."

Gerard didn't need a simple fuck as a distraction, no, he needed something bigger, more mind blowing, and that's what Frank was going to give him.

Gerard didn't even blink before he was on his stomach, struggling to get out of his clothes before he lost his fucking mind.

"W-What are you gonna do?" Gerard breathed out once his clothing was finally gone, turning his head to watch as Frank slowly undressed himself. "Gonna fuck me?"

"Something better." Frank stated simply, tossing his shirt to the floor lazily. 

At this point Gerard didn't care what Frank did, he knew whatever he ended up doing, it would distract him, so he simply waited for Frank to undress, and eventually the other was situated between his thighs.

He shivered as he felt Frank's hands on the back of his thighs, slowly gliding up over his ass before he gripped the flesh harshly, pulling him apart before teasing him with his finger.

"Frankie." Gerard was trembling with need by this point, the desperation for anything at all making his whole body shake. "Please..."

With no warning at all then, Frank dove in, nuzzling his face deeply in between Gerard's cheeks as he replaced his finger with his tongue.

Gerard gasped, or maybe even squeaked, and pushed his hips against the bed, his whole body tense as it tried to pull away from the unusual feeling.

He didn't want to pull away though, and eventually his body caught onto that and pushed back gently as Frank stiffened his tongue.

"F-Fuck-" Gerard squeaked again, clutching desperately at the bedsheets as Frank slowly worked his tongue inside him, Frank's fingers clutching onto his ass so tightly it was sure to leave bruises.

"A-ah-" Gerard choked out, his hips rutting softly against the bed as Frank forced him down. "Feels so good-"

Frank smiled against Gerard's rim, causing the other to cry out loudly and stuff his face into his pillow, the sounds he was making embarrassing him.

Cocaine was the last thing on Gerard's mind at this point, all he could focus on was Frank's tongue; the way it swirled around inside of him, the way it would lap against him every so often- the obscene slurping sounds that would ring through his ears whenever Frank sucked harshly against him, the action causing a pattern of embarrassing sounds to spill from Gerard's lips as his hips alternated from rutting against the bed, and pushing back against Frank's face.

Gerard began to drool at that point, his brain incapable of forcing his mouth closed as the pleasure fried it, forcing the line of drool to slowly drip down onto his pillow.

"Fuck!" Gerard cried out as Frank forced in a finger along his tongue, the digit slamming into his prostate within seconds. "Fuck fuck fuck-"

It was all too much, yet not enough, and as much as Gerard wanted to keep going, he wanted more, he needed more.

"F-Frankie- fuck me, please-" Gerard begged, his eyes rolling back as he felt Frank wiggling his tongue inside of him, the slight vibrations from Frank's quiet moans vibrating against Gerard's sensitive skin. "Want your cock-"

Frank wanted to make Gerard come like this, but the whole act itself had Frank right up to the edge, the sounds Gerard was making along with his body language was slowly pushing Frank to the edge.

His body won that fight, and before he knew it he was searching for lube, finding it quickly before realizing they didn't have any condoms.

"I-I'm clean- please- I promise, please-" Gerard pleaded after Frank announced the lack of condom, and as much as Frank's brain was yelling at him not to, he found himself pushing into Gerard only seconds later.

"Fuck!" Gerard threw his head back, his knuckles turning white around the bedsheets.

There was a definite pain, but Gerard couldn't bring himself to care about it, all he could really process was the fact that Frank's dick was in his ass, and that he wanted nothing more than that.

"Oh my fucking god-" Frank growled, the lack of condom having his pleasure even higher, if that were possible. "So fucking good, baby." He growled again, leaning his upper body against Gerard's back as his hips continuously snapped forward. "Already so fucking close-"

And he was, Frank was dangerously close, he hadn't had sex without a condom in ages, add that to how wound up he was before, and he was about to lose it.

"Frankie no-" Gerard pleaded, his hips bucking back against him desperately. "Not yet- please-"

Gerard wasn't ready for this to be over, he wasn't done yet, he wanted Frank to keep going.

"Can't- baby, fuck-" Frank whimpered, his teeth sinking into Gerard's shoulder, hoping that would help him along. "Fuck!" Frank gasped, his orgasm hitting him suddenly, his hips stuttering violently as he spilled inside of Gerard.

He fucked him as long as he could after that, but eventually Frank had to pull away, the sensitivity too much.

"Frankie-" Gerard whined desperately, pushing his hips back as Frank pulled away. "I'm not done- please-"

He had to act quickly, he could just finish Gerard off with his tongue, but he really didn't like the idea of licking up his own come, so he thought of something hopefully better.

"On your back." Frank ordered, forcing Gerard onto his back before he could even blink.

Gerard's desperate eyes watched as Frank grabbed the lube again, and they rolled back as Frank squirted a generous amount on his pulsing cock; they rolled back just in time to see Frank lifting his hips above the other, then they practically bulged out as Frank slowly sank down on it.

"Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck-" Gerard chanted loudly, his hands instantly landing on Frank's hips as his own snapped forward. "Fuck fuck fuck-"

Frank twisted himself down on Gerard quick and rough then, whimpering quietly as the shocks rocked throughout his body.

Gerard was in pure ecstasy though, his head was back with his mouth hung open, his arms eventually falling limp at his sides as the pleasure took control.

"Yeah, you fucking like that, don't you baby?" Frank talked dirty to him, clutching onto his chest as he bounced up and down. "Fucking love wrecking my ass, don't you? Making it all yours?"

Gerard was borderline sobbing at this point, the sensation of Frank tightening around him, along with the dirty words spilling from his mouth had Gerard hazed.

"Feels so good, baby-" Frank cried out, throwing his head back dramatically. "Nobody has ever fucked me so good-"

Gerard lost it then, a loud strangled cry echoing through his room as he came inside Frank, his eyes whiting out as he desperately tried to catch his breath.

"Mmm-" Frank hummed in satisfaction, mostly for Gerard's benefit. "So full of you-"

He grinned as he pulled off, wincing slightly as the burn really set in, along with the unpleasant feeling of Gerard's come dribbling down his thigh.

"Fuckin love you-" Gerard muttered, seconds later his eyes falling shut, and staying shut as he passed out.

Frank was left stunned then, his nervous eyes staring down at Gerard's sleeping form.

Love?

Frank cared for Gerard, that much was obvious, but he didn't know if he could call it love yet, and he didn't want to upset Gerard with that information, he didn't want to hurt him, or make it seem like he was leading him on.

It was going to be hard for Frank to truly love again after his girlfriend had cheated on him, he had given her everything, and she just shattered his heart.

Quite honestly, the thought of falling in love scared the absolute shit out of him.

A nervous twist in his stomach alerted him that it might be too late though, he might already be falling for Gerard.

He had always been so focused on helping Gerard, he ignored the signs of it... but now that Gerard had spilled the word, and left Frank alone to his thoughts, the signs definitely presented themselves.

Especially the fact that he just allowed himself to have sex with Gerard without a condom.

That wasn't something he did, ever, and the fact that he allowed it, was a pretty big indicator that his feelings for Gerard were a lot stronger than he thought they were.

Also the fact that Frank had pretty much put his life on hold to help Gerard, he didn't realize it before, but Frank hadn't seen his friends in days, he's barely made any sales, and he hasn't even talked to his best friend Jamia.

Gerard was asleep for a very long time, a very long time that left Frank alone with those thoughts, the thoughts that had his stomach twisting violently.

However, that uncomfortable twisting seemed to disappear the instant Gerard slowly opened his eyes, the sparkling hazel orbs melting Frank's heart... another indicator that he was probably in love.

"Hey..." Frank whispered, a small smile on his face. "How you feeling?"

"Cold..." Gerard shivered then, and Frank grabbed a hold of the covers, pulling them over his back as he climbed on top of Gerard.

"Better?"

"Better." Gerard smiled softly, wrapping his arms around Frank's body. "Thank you." He mumbled, leaning up to kiss at Frank's chest, his hands roaming around his waist.

"Gerard-" Frank breathed out as Gerard's hands snuck around to his ass. "What are you doing?"

"Let's go again." Gerard pulled away from Frank's chest then, gazing up at him with an innocent looking smile, despite what he was requesting.

"Again?" Frank gasped out, his eyes widening when he realized Gerard was definitely getting hard against his thigh. "Baby, aren't you tired?"

"It's the only thing that distracts me..." Gerard whispered, his wide timid eyes staring up at Frank. "You're the only thing that distracts me..."

And really, Frank couldn't argue after that.

-

Gerard was shocked when he realized it was the next day, and his heart pounded loudly as he realized he had managed to go two days without the drugs.

He had never felt so proud of himself in his entire life, and even though the craving was still present, he felt confident enough to get through it.

Especially with Frank asleep against his back, his soft breath tickling Gerard's skin.

"I did it..." Gerard whispered to himself, not expecting Frank to be awake at this early hour, but being wrong.

"You did." Frank whispered, his hand rubbing Gerard's chest slowly. "I'm so fucking proud of you."

And he was, Frank had never felt more proud than he had in that moment; sure he couldn't really feel his ass, and his thighs were on fire from the crazy amount of times they had ended up fooling around, but that was all worth it.

"I can't believe it." Gerard sniffled, suddenly feeling very emotional. "I can't-"

Frank silenced him with a kiss, and Gerard leaned into it gratefully, eventually snuggling his head into the crook of Frank's neck.

The moment was perfect, but of course something had to interrupt it.

Frank groaned as his phone continuously went off, and managed to grab it without disrupting their positioning.

It was his exgirlfriend, going on about how she missed him, and how she wanted him back.

Normally he would have been angry, but he felt nothing towards her as he felt Gerard snuggled against his body; and to prove that, he held his phone out as he opened his camera, the angle of the phone capturing the scratches he had left on Gerard's back during one of their numerous sexual acts, along with his own face, smirking before he snapped the picture.

He sent it with the caption "I don't miss you".

And really he didn't, at first he really thought he would, he thought he would miss everything about her, but Gerard had made him forget about her almost completely.

He rolled his eyes as he got a reply, which was a simple 'you're going to regret that', and tossed his phone, instead keeping his sole focus on Gerard.

"Was that her?" Gerard whispered against Frank's neck, sensing Frank's previous tensed posture was because of his exgirlfriend.

"Yeah..." Frank mumbled. "Sorry."

"What did she say?"

"That she missed me.."

"And what did you say?" Gerard questioned timidly, like he was afraid she was going to steal Frank away.

"I said that I didn't miss her, and I sent her a picture of me cuddling you."

"Oh, yeah?" Gerard blushed violently then, the act making his heart beat rapidly. "You did?"

"Of course I did." Frank smiled, leaning down to kiss him properly. "She's gotta know I belong to you now, doesn't she?"

That made Gerard blush harder, and soon he had a shy smile to his face.

"You know what we should do?" Gerard giggled, biting his lip as Frank hummed in response. "We should send her a picture of you fucking me..."

"Really?" Frank raised an eyebrow at him, a small smirk forming on his lips. "You'd be okay with that?"

"Yeah..." Gerard giggled, a blush on his cheeks. "Like you said... she's gotta know you don't belong to her."

"Hmm... I like that." Frank grinned, leaning in to kiss Gerard softly. "Just let me know when you want to."

"Now."

"Now?" 

"Now." Gerard nodded shortly, climbing on top of Frank then. 

And really, Frank wasn't going to stop him.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY GUYS SO IT WAS BROUGHT TO MY ATTENTION THAT A CHAPTER SEEMED TO BE MISSING, AND I THINK I FIXED IT, SO IF YOU FEEL LIKE YOU MISSED SOMETHING YOU PROBABLY DID, I'M TOO DUMB TO FIGURE OUT WHICH CHAPTER IT WAS EXACTLY BECAUSE ALL THE OTHERS POSTED WITH THE WRONG CHAPTER NUMBER (MY BAD NOT NAMING THEM SMH @ ME)   
> ANYWAYS I HOPE ITS FIXED, SORRY ABOUT THAT <3

"I-I'm sorry-" Gerard stuttered out as he stood in Frank's kitchen, having just dropped a glass bowl, shattering it on the floor. 

Gerard's withdraws were making him extremely shaky, and because of that, when Frank offered him a bowl for cereal, his trembling hands dropped it.

Gerard had made tremendous progress, he wasn't trying as hard to get the drugs, so Frank let him come over the next day.

Despite that though, his body was still going through withdraw, which meant unpleasant side effects such as trembling limbs, mood swings, and the occasional vomiting. 

"It's okay, baby." Frank soothed, rubbing Gerard's sides. "How about you sit down, and I'll make you some toast or something?"

"O-Okay." Gerard nodded nervously, forcing his legs over to Frank's kitchen table. "Thanks, Frankie-"

Frank just smiled sweetly at Gerard, before turning his back and starting the toast.

They had ended up sending that picture to his exgirlfriend; a picture of Gerard on his hands and knees, his scratched up back on display, Frank pushing into him, Frank's fingers tangled in his hair as he pulled his head back harshly.

It was a picture you'd see out of a porn magazine, only you knew it was Frank by the tattoos on his hands.

She never replied, not until that morning at least, and all that he got in reply was 'have a nice day, Frankie. xox"

He didn't think twice about it, instead he focused on making his boyfriend breakfast, and trying to help him get through this withdraw as easy as possible.

"Thank you." Gerard smiled weakly up at Frank as he handed him the toast.

"No problem, baby." Frank sat down next to him. "How are you feeling this morning?" 

"My head hurts really bad." Gerard whimpered quietly, taking a small bite out of his toast. "Really tired."

"I'm sorry." Frank frowned, leaning in to kiss Gerard's forehead. "It can only get better from here, remember that."

Gerard nodded slowly and continued to nibble on his breakfast, making sure he didn't eat too fast to avoid getting sick.

They sat quietly then, simply enjoying each others presence while eating breakfast, when there was a knock on the door.

"Be right back." Frank smiled, kissing the top of Gerard's head before leaving the kitchen.

Nothing could have prepared Frank for what he was about to open the door to, and unfortunately for him, he didn't even glance in the peep hole first; instead he practically went into cardiac arrest as he opened the door to two police officers.

"Frank Iero?" 

Frank was frozen in place, but he quickly composed himself, if he acted like his bedroom wasn't full of drugs, maybe they'd believe it.

"That's me." Frank replied casually, trying to look a bit concerned. "Can I help you?"

"We received an anonymous tip that you are in possession of illegal substances with intent to sell, we would like to search the premises."

Frank almost threw up right there, but luckily for him, he knew his rights and was going to use them.

"Do you have a search warrant?" 

"We're currently on the phone with the judge now, we'll have the warrant in a few minutes."

"Come back in a few minutes then."

Frank closed the door casually, but the second that door was closed he was booking it into his bedroom, shoving any and all drugs he had into his backpack, desperately making sure he hadn't forgotten anything.

He glanced out his bedroom window and cursed quietly as he noticed there were police officers at the end of the alley, so there was no way he'd be able to sneak out without them stopping him.

He was so fucked, there was no where he could hide these drugs where the police wouldn't find them, he had to get them away from his house, but he had no way to.

His heart dropped when he realized his only option, his only option was to give Gerard the backpack and have him sneak out the back.

The police wouldn't question him, the police were watching for Frank, not some other dude.

"Fuck!" Frank kicked his dresser, tugging harshly on his hair as he debated what to do.

Should he risk it? 

Should he risk giving the backpack to Gerard, and risk him relapsing? 

Or should he just admit defeat and be arrested, hoping he could cut some deal with the court.

If he did that he would be sent away from Gerard for a long time, and he knew Gerard needed him around to help him get clean.

"Frankie?" Gerard suddenly spoke, scaring the shit out of Frank. "Is everything okay?"

"Gerard..." Frank spoke seriously, deciding he had to risk Gerard relapsing. "I need you to do something for me..."

"Anything..."

"Take this backpack..." Frank nervously held it out to him, swallowing hard as Gerard accepted it. "Sneak out the back, walk along the fence, and go home- if the cops stop you make up something okay, you don't know who Frank Iero is, okay?"

"A-Are you in trouble?" Gerard stuttered out nervously, glancing down at the backpack. 

"I won't be if you go home, but baby, whatever you do, do not open that backpack, okay?" 

Gerard swallowed hard and stared at the backpack, suddenly realizing what was going on.

"O-Okay-"

"Promise me." Frank ordered, staring deep into Gerard's eyes so he knew how serious he was. "Promise me you won't open the backpack."

"I promise..." 

Frank had to accept that, several minutes had already passed, he needed to get Gerard out of the house now.

So he ushered him downstairs, quietly opening the backdoor before instructing Gerard to walk along the fence, and then sneak out from behind the bushes, that way if the cops saw him, they wouldn't know he had came from Frank's house. 

Gerard was just about to rush off, when Frank grabbed his arm; anything could happen after Gerard left, Frank could have forgotten something and the cops could arrest him, or maybe something bad would happen to Gerard.

With that being said he had to get something off of his chest before he left, just in case.

"Gerard," Frank started, swallowing hard as the other looked at him anxiously. "I love you."

Gerard's anxious face fell instantly, and he just stared at Frank, like he wasn't sure it had happened.

"Go!" Frank urged then, pushing Gerard towards the fence.

Gerard stumbled away, sending Frank one last glance before he turned around and rushed along the fence.

The police were back at Frank's door then, so he was forced to go back inside, unable to watch Gerard to make sure he got away.

"Here's your warrant." The officer smiled, holding up a piece of paper.

"Welcome to my home." Frank forced a smile, opening the door to the men. "I have nothing to hide."

-

Gerard stumbled nervously down the alley, trying to draw as little attention to himself as possible, and trying not to look suspicious as he walked by a police car.

"Hey-" One called out, but Gerard ignored him, pretending he was talking to someone else. "You with the backpack!"

Gerard was forced to stop then, and he bit his lip nervously as he turned around, trying to make himself look as casual as possible.

"Yes?" Gerard replied calmly, clutching onto the backpack straps. 

"Where are you coming from?" 

"School." Gerard lied quickly, knowing there was a university nearby here. 

The officer eyed him suspiciously, but Gerard refused to show any fear, he wasn't going to let Frank get in trouble, no chance in hell.

"Why are you so shaky?" 

"Caffeine." Gerard laughed weakly. "With finals I don't get much sleep, so I drink a lot of coffee."

"Been there." The cop nodded, seeming less suspicious. "I was in the military, practically overdosed of shitty coffee." 

"Oh yeah?" Gerard spoke, trying to seem interested. "Why'd you join the police force?"

Gerard didn't want to spend any more time with this guy, but if he tried to rush away it would look suspicious.

"After a few tours in Iraq I wanted to be home, wanted to watch my children grow up." He shrugged. "What are you going to school for?"

"Business degree." Gerard lied casually. "Speaking of which, I actually have a paper due in a few hours, is there anything else you need from me?" 

"No, you're alright to go, kid. Good luck with your paper."

"Thank you." Gerard sent him a quick nod, slowly starting up his walk again. "Stay safe." 

The officer said something in reply, but Gerard couldn't hear him, all he could hear was the pounding in his head, so he quickly yet casually walked down the street.

"Fuck-" He breathed out when he was several blocks away, swallowing hard as he resisted the urge to throw up. 

His thoughts instantly went to the backpack, he knew it was full of drugs, and if he just took a little bit all of this pain would stop.

His headache would go away, he wouldn't feel so nauseous-

"No." Gerard mumbled to himself, shaking his head violently as he continued down the street. "You don't need it."

He didn't believe himself, but he managed to make it home, letting out a relieved sigh as he entered the house.

"Mikey?" He called out, slowly walking through the house. "Are you home?"

Gerard was counting on Mikey being home, Mikey would be able to distract him, without Mikey he'd be completely alone with a bag of drugs, and he wasn't sure he was strong enough to resist them much longer.

"Mikey!" He screamed when he realized the other wasn't there, panic setting in. 

The one time Gerard wanted Mikey to be here, and he wasn't, the one time he needed him.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck-" Gerard paced back and forth, trying desperately to figure out a distraction.

Frank was usually his distraction, but Frank wasn't here right now, and he couldn't even call him without rising suspicion.

What would they do if Frank were here though? What would Frank do to distract Gerard?

They'd fuck.

So, Gerard figured getting off would be the best option for him, so he snuck into Mikey's room, taking his laptop before returning to his own room.

He had left the drugs in the living room on purpose, he didn't want to see them at all, he wanted to pretend they weren't there.

"Okay, okay-" Gerard breathed out, getting himself comfortable on his bed. "Just gonna jerk off- everything is normal-"

He nodded to himself as he opened up the internet, typing in a few key words before searching through several videos until he found one that looked appealing to him.

"This is good." Gerard nodded to himself, biting his lip as he watched the two men fucking on his screen. "Everything is fine."

He continued to watch the screen avidly, but no matter how hot it seemed to be, Gerard's body wasn't reacting.

"Come on." Gerard groaned, stuffing his hand down his pants. "Fucking work-"

The withdraw was taking over too much of his body though, without Frank physically here and touching him, it was close to impossible for Gerard to get hard.

It was a miracle in itself that he was able to get hard with Frank around, his body should have been too focused on needing the drugs, but with Frank around that seemed different.

Gerard wasn't a quitter though, so he clicked through several more videos, even going so far as to imagine it being him and Frank in the videos, but even then, nothing happened.

"God fucking damn it-" Gerard tugged on his dick impatiently, his frustration only causing his headache to grow. "Fuck-"

He finally admitted defeat then, and slammed the laptop shut, almost breaking it as he pushed it off of his bed.

"Frank-" Gerard whimpered, curling up in a ball. "Please hurry-"

Gerard knew he was going to cave soon, he could feel his self control weakening by the second, and if Frank didn't hurry, he knew he would relapse.

-

"What is in this?" The officer spoke as he dug out an old box from the back of Frank's closet.

"Sex toys." Frank stated simply, the cops were pissing him off, he might as well have a bit of fun with it.

The officer had to go through the box no matter what, and the face he made as he opened it almost made Frank laugh.

"Where's your girlfriend, then?" He questioned, and then Frank really did laugh.

"I don't have one, those are mine, honey." He winked at the cop then, knowing it made him uncomfortable. "I'm a flaming homosexual, I love taking it up the ass."

It was very clear the cop was homophobic, so if he was gonna fuck up Frank's room, Frank might as well make him uncomfortable. 

"Fag." The cop muttered under his breath, but Frank heard it.

"I actually prefer 'Kitten', but I suppose that works." 

"That's disgusting."

"But not against the law." Frank smiled sweetly at him, sending him another wink just to make him squirm.

The cop was angry then, but ignored Frank, instead asking his partner if he had found anything yet.

Which he hadn't, of course he hadn't, everything was gone.

They questioned him about where the drugs were, and Frank just told them he had no idea what they were talking about and how he had never seen drugs in his entire life.

He was pulling that sweet innocent thing, which even though the cops saw right through, couldn't do anything about.

Eventually they were forced to leave, and Frank sent them all a sweet smile as they left.

He tried to call Gerard the second the cops pulled away in their cars, but he wasn't answering.

"Fuck." Frank cursed quietly, grabbing his keys and rushing out the door.

-

Frank saw her, he fucking saw his ex sitting across the street from his house; it all made sense then, this was her revenge, she had tipped off the cops about Frank.

"You bitch." Frank snarled as she walked towards his car, attempting to get into the passenger side, but failing as Frank locked the doors. "Go fuck yourself."

"Jacob does that for me." She smiled a sick type of smile at him, only pissing him off further.

"Then go fuck Jacob, just go away!"

"I want to talk to you."

"I have shit to do!" 

"What, your little whore?" 

Frank got out of the car then, his anger fueling his motions as he stormed over to her.

"If anything, you're the whore- how many dudes were you fucking behind my back?" 

"You know, you were always so hot when you're angry." She spoke seductively, running her fingers through his hair. "Kinda want you to take me right here against your car..."

"Jesus Christ." Frank shook his head, not believing what was happening. "I think you need some serious mental help."

"No, I just need you." 

She grabbed him by his jacket and pulled him against her, her face instantly leaning in as she tried to kiss him.

"Stop-" He pulled his head away, trying to get his body away as well, but failing.

"Come on." She whined, her hands reaching behind Frank to grab his ass instead of his jacket. "Just one more time, a quickie in the back of your car-"

"Seriously, stop-" 

She didn't though, instead she shoved her hand down his pants, and in a state of panic, Frank did something he regretted immediately. 

He slapped her.

He had tried to push her away, he had tried to make her stop, but she wouldn't, and there was no way he was going to cheat on Gerard.

She pulled away in shock, staring up at Frank like he had just murdered her child in front of her.

"Y-You hit me-" She stuttered out, lifting her hand to her cheek, which didn't even have a mark.

"You wouldn't stop!" Frank tried to defend himself, even though he was feeling like shit. "Look, it didn't even leave a mark, I didn't hit you that hard-"

"You bastard!" She screamed, taking a step away from him. 

"Look, I'm sorry-" 

"Fuck you!" She stormed away then, leaving Frank stunned for about the millionth time that day.

Frank felt horrible for what he had just done, but he didn't know what else he could do to make her stop, and in a state of panic, it just happened.

He had barely hit her, there was hardly a mark on her at all, but he still felt disgusted with himself.

Never in his life had he hit a woman, and growing up he was always told it was never okay to do so, so even though a part of him knew it was justified, the rest felt like shit.

He couldn't dwell on it too much though, because he knew he had to get to Gerard and make sure he was okay.

-

The door was unlocked when Frank reached Gerard's house, and he nervously entered, calling out Gerard's name, but getting no response.

"Baby?" He called out once more, slowly making his way into the living room.

That's where he found Gerard, sat on the couch with the backpack in his lap, his arms wrapped around it tightly as he stared off blankly in the distance.

"Gee?" He spoke softly, jumping slightly as Gerard's eyes suddenly landed on him. "Are you okay?"

Gerard just grumbled in response, clutching the bag more protectively.

"Can I have the backpack back?" 

"No." Gerard shook his head violently. "Mine."

"Did you go through it?" 

"I'm gonna." 

Frank realized mentally Gerard was in another place, he had forced himself into a different reality in his mind so he'd resist taking the drugs.

Frank had to pull him back, so he slowly sat down next to him, gently placing his hand on Gerard's arm.

Gerard flinched violently, but that was it, he didn't try to pull away as Frank slowly trailed down to his hand.

"Come back." Frank whispered, holding the top of Gerard's hand. "I'm here, Gerard, come back."

It took a while, but Gerard eventually relaxed under Frank's touch, and Frank was able to take the backpack from his hold.

Gerard instantly curled up on himself once the bag was gone, and Frank quickly hid it somewhere he couldn't find it.

"I'm so proud of you." Frank whispered once he returned to the couch, gently pulling Gerard into his lap. "You did so good today, so, so, good."

Gerard just started crying, the strength it took for him to resist had drained him emotionally, and he needed to get that frustration out somewhere.

"Want it so bad-" Gerard sobbed, clutching onto Frank's body. "Fuck, it hurts so much worse now-"

"Shh." Frank soothed, rubbing Gerard's back. "I got you, baby, I got you."

-

Frank had texted Mikey explaining that Gerard's withdraw had been a lot worse today, so he wouldn't be surprised when he came home from work.

Frank ended up being the one who was surprised, because Mikey brought home Gerard a bunch of things such as soup, orange juice, and other things he thought would make Gerard feel better.

They ended up watching movies for the rest of the night while Gerard snacked lightly on the food Mikey had brought him.

Frank was still bothered by what happened with his ex, and he wanted to talk to someone about it, but Gerard was in no condition to speak about something heavy like that right now.

So instead of talking to Gerard about it, he waited for Gerard to fall asleep, and then he asked Mikey if they could talk.

"Could I tell you something... like, man to man?" Frank gestured between them, and Mikey looked at him nervously before agreeing.

"Something happened today, and I just feel really shitty about it." Frank mumbled, gazing into his lap. "I had a run in with my ex today... and she wanted to hook up, but I didn't, obviously, you know, Gerard-" He gestured wildly then, trying to stall before he had to get to the point. "Okay, so, fuck- she didn't really listen, you know? And she was all over me, and I tried to push her away but she wouldn't get off of me, and then she put her hand down my pants and I panicked..."

"What did you do?" Mikey frowned, knowing the key information was missing from this story. "You got her to stop, but how?"

Frank swallowed hard and closed his eyes, biting his lip before mumbling 'I hit her'.

Mikey didn't respond, he just looked at Frank for a moment, trying to figure out how to respond.

"I know, I know, I'm a horrible person and I should have reacted differently and-"

"You're not a horrible person, Frank." Mikey interrupted him, shocking Frank into making eye contact with him. "You were protecting yourself, and if the roles were reversed, and you had been the one coming onto her, then everyone would deem her brave for protecting herself, which is exactly what you did."

Frank didn't know how to respond, so he just looked at Mikey, searching for the logic in his words.

It made sense to him though, if it had been the other way around, people would be cheering her for standing up for herself, and that's what Frank had done; yes, hitting a girl was wrong, but so is touching someone without their consent, which is exactly what she did.

"Thank you, Mikey." Frank spoke softly, gazing into his lap. "I appreciate that."

"I wouldn't be saying it if it weren't true." Mikey shrugged.

-

The next day Frank was forced to do some business, he had put off too many sales while helping Gerard, and it was starting to piss his supplier off.

He snuck out while Gerard was still asleep, hoping he'd be able to get several sales done before the other woke up.

It was draining meeting up with all these drug addicts, especially considering the fact that Gerard had almost- and still possibly could- turn out like one of them.

He somehow managed to hit all his regulars before Gerard woke up though, and was able to sneak back into bed before Gerard woke up.

"Frankie..." Gerard mumbled as Frank climbed back into the bed, wrapping his arms around Frank's body tightly. "I love you too, Frankie."

Frank had almost forgotten about what he had confessed to Gerard the day before, but hearing those words leave Gerard's tired lips brought that feeling back at full force.

Gerard was still very much asleep, Frank knew that, and he was probably dreaming about the events of yesterday.

Frank grinned and held Gerard tightly, kissing the top of his head while he waited for his love to wake up completely.


	9. Chapter 9

Gerard was two weeks clean by this point, and despite the shitty withdraw symptoms, he was actually starting to feel a lot better.

He didn't even ask Frank for lines anymore, instead when he was craving he'd put that energy into something else... or he'd do what Frank and him did best, and fuck.

Frank could tell the difference in their sex life as Gerard continued being clean; he didn't get tired as quickly as he used to, and he usually lasted longer as well.

He hadn't gotten another job yet, but Mikey wasn't pushing it, he was just happy to see his brother coming back more and more every day.

The point was he was trying to better himself, and he was actually succeeding very well.

"How are you feeling today, baby?" Frank questioned softly, gazing down at Gerard as they woke up for the morning. 

"Really good, actually." Gerard smiled genuinely. "I kinda wanna do something though..."

Frank would be lying if he said that didn't make him nervous, but he sat quietly anyways and waited for Gerard to tell him what it was he wanted. 

"I wanna get my hair cut." Gerard mumbled, glancing at the very long strands tangled around his face. "The long hair makes me feel kinda dirty, it reminds me of when I'd get really high and drunk... I don't want that reminder..."

"Then we'll go get your hair cut today." Frank smiled, leaning down to kiss him. "We can get it cut any way you'd like."

"Thank you, Frankie." Gerard wrapped his arms around him, pulling him down for a hug. "I love you."

"I love you too, baby." Frank hugged back just as tightly. "Now why don't I go make us some breakfast?"

"No, no, I wanna make you breakfast." Gerard smiled as they pulled apart, climbing out of bed and pulling his boxers on. "Let me treat you for once."

Frank wanted to object, but Gerard rushed out of the room, giggling quietly as he did. 

Mikey was in the living room as Gerard passed through, and followed him into the kitchen to see what he was doing.

Mikey was very pleased to see that Gerard had put a little more weight on since being with Frank, the bones he used to see very clearly were now covered in a thin layer of fat.

He was looking healthier and healthier by the day.

"Do you work today?" Gerard asked as he searched through the fridge, grabbing the eggs and milk.

"Nope, it's my day off."

"Wanna help me make breakfast?" Gerard asked timidly, still trying to get used to interacting with Mikey again. "You don't have to- I just thought-"

"I would love to." Mikey interrupted. "French toast?"

"Yeah." Gerard smiled to himself, accepting the bread as Mikey handed it to him. "Will you get the batter ready while I start the griddle?"

"Yeah." Mikey smiled too, grabbing a bowl before cracking the eggs into it. "How've you been feeling?" 

"So good." Gerard answered honestly. "Starting to see a lot more clearly now too."

"I'm glad." Mikey nodded to himself. "I'm really proud of you."

Gerard paused what he was doing then, suddenly feeling overcome with emotion from his brothers words.

"Thank you, Mikey." He whispered quietly, a lump forming in his throat. "I'm so sorry for being so awful to you."

"Hey..." Mikey spoke softly, walking over to Gerard and lifting his gaze. "You getting clean means everything to me, don't worry about what you used to do, okay?"

Gerard was pulling him in for a hug before he could even blink, a few silent tears rolling down his cheeks as he squeezed his brother tightly.

"So proud of you." Mikey whispered again, rubbing Gerard's bare back. "So fucking proud."

"Thank you." Gerard breathed out, pulling away and wiping his tears. "I promise I won't let you down again."

Mikey assured him he knew that, and then they finished preparing breakfast.

Frank wandered into the kitchen about half way through, sitting down at the table and watching as the two bonded once again.

Mikey however caught Frank checking out Gerard, and Frank could only smile awkwardly and glance away as fast as he could.

It was too fucking tempting though, Gerard was literally only wearing boxers, how did Mikey expect him not to check him out?

When breakfast was finished, they all sat at the table together and enjoyed it, and Gerard couldn't think of a time where he felt happier.

-

"So, what am I doing for ya, honey?" The hairdresser spoke, smiling at Gerard through the mirror.

"I uh-" Gerard spoke nervously, glancing at Frank through the mirror. "I'm not sure... I know I wanna cut it, but I don't know a style or anything."

The lady smiled sweetly at him and handed him a book, telling him to find a style he liked, and promising to perfect it for him. 

He ended up picking a relatively short style, a pretty common one as well; he just knew he didn't want to feel the strands tickling his face anymore, and he didn't want to see it out of the corner of his eye.

Frank thought the style would look good on him too, so that gave him the confidence to tell the lady it was what he wanted.

It hurt watching her snip away at his hair, his heart racing as he watched the strands fall to the floor.

Haircuts were nerve wracking, especially drastic changes like this one.

"Fuck." Gerard whispered once she was finished, his hands raising up to feel the very short strands. "It's so short..."

"Do you like it?" The woman questioned. "I can try to change it if you don't."

"No, no, you did a good job... it's just going to take some time getting used to it."

He slowly met Frank's glance then, fearing a disgusted look, but being greeted with a lustful one; he had to look away then, swallowing hard before thanking the lady and tipping her with some money Mikey gave him.

Frank didn't say a word as they left the building, but he did drag Gerard to the side of it where they were out of sight for the most part.

"Fuck, baby, you look so good-" He groaned, his lips against Gerard's instantly as his hands felt around his new hair. "So fucking hot- love seeing your beautiful face-"

"Frank-" Gerard whimpered, holding onto his sides as Frank continued to study him lustfully. 

"You wanna go back to my place?" Frank suggested, a sly smirk on his lips. 

"Please." Gerard nodded quickly, stumbling as Frank wasted no time in dragging him back to his car. 

Gerard's leg bounced anxiously as they drove back to Frank's house, his bottom lip caught between his teeth as he waited for what was about to happen.

They hadn't done anything sexual in several days, Gerard had been too exhausted or grumpy, but now he wasn't, and Frank was definitely going to take advantage of that.

Frank dragged him into the house as well, and groaned quietly once Gerard took charge inside, pushing him up against the wall like he knew Frank craved.

"Oh, baby-" Frank groaned as Gerard kissed at his neck, his hips pressing forward. "Wanna ride you-"

"Fuck yes." Gerard breathed out, lowering his hands to the back of Frank's thighs, helping him up as Frank wrapped his legs around Gerard's waist. "Let's do it on the couch-"

Frank hummed in approval and kissed Gerard as they stumbled over to the furniture, groaning softly as they both situated themselves on it.

"Shit, let me get the lube-" Frank mumbled, pulling away from Gerard so he could rush off into his room and grab it. "Got it!" Frank breathed out once he returned, groaning as he noticed Gerard had stripped completely naked while he was gone. "Fuck, baby-" Frank groaned once more, tossing the lube on the couch before tugging his shirt over his head, and kicking his pants off.

Gerard didn't respond, he just grabbed the lube and began slicking himself up.

They had received their blood test results a few days after Frank neglected to use a condom, and luckily for the both of them, they were clean.

It was really nice not having to worry about condoms anymore, it made everything happen faster, which is what they both needed most of the time.

Frank practically jumped on Gerard's dick, a satisfied gasp leaving his lips as he slowly sank down.

"Fuck-" Gerard whined, his hands clutching onto Frank's hips harshly. "Oh, god-"

"Fuck yeah." Frank grinned to himself as he settled into Gerard's lap, wiggling his hips a bit just to make Gerard whimper. "Gonna ride you so fucking good-"

"Do it then." Gerard breathed out, letting his head fall back against the couch as he pushed his hips forward. 

Frank adjusted his legs so he was a bit more comfortable, and then started up his movements, not slow or gentle at all, but fast and rough.

The couch squeaked every time Frank pushed down, but you could barely hear it over Gerard's quiet moans, or Frank's stuttery gasps. 

"Fuck-" Gerard moaned softly, his hips pressing forward weakly as he grabbed Frank's hand, forcing two of Frank's fingers into his mouth and sucking on them.

Frank could get off on that sight alone, Gerard's entire face on display for him, his lips sealed tightly around his fingers as he moaned around them-

He had to admit he missed being able to pull Gerard's hair, but honestly being able to see his face was much better.

He could see the way Gerard's face scrunch up in pleasure much better this way, and that aroused him greatly.

"Fuck, Frankie-" Gerard whined as Frank pulled away his hand. "Feels so good-"

Gerard's hand landed on Frank's chest then, his fingernails digging into the flesh softly as he slowly dragged it down over Frank's stomach.

That had Frank shivering violently and arching his back, silently begging Gerard to touch him.

Which he did, of course, he was getting close himself, and needed to bring Frank up to that point as well.

"Ah, shit-" Frank moaned through clenched teeth, his hands on Gerard's shoulders to steady himself. "I'm gonna come-"

"Do it-" Gerard practically begged, tightening his grip around Frank's swollen cock. "Wanna feel it-"

"Fuck fuck fuck-" Frank choked out, his fingernails digging into Gerard's shoulders. "Shit- fuck!" 

Frank gasped as he came all over Gerard's chest, his body tightening around Gerard as he did, bringing him right up to his peak.

Frank barely had enough time to look down at Gerard's face, witnessing it as Gerard lost it, seeing features he usually missed due to Gerard's hair.

The sight alone probably would have made Frank hard again if that was possible so soon.

"Wow-" Gerard breathed out as Frank gently pulled off. "That was so hot-" 

"Fuck yeah it was." Frank sighed as he collapsed next to Gerard. "You are so pretty, baby." 

Gerard didn't respond to that, he just snuggled up against Frank's side, grabbing a nearby blanket and covering them with it.

-

They returned to Gerard's house after a surprise nap, and Mikey gaped at Gerard's new hair cut.

Rightfully so though, Gerard hadn't had his hair this short since he was ten, and it was a bit shocking to see.

Mikey thought it looked good though, and he was true with his words when he told Gerard that.

They all spent the rest of the day together, but Frank ended up going home that night; he had been with Gerard every night for the past two weeks, and as much as he loved him, he needed some 'me' time.

Gerard was fine with that of course, especially because him and Mikey were on good terms again.

He ended up confessing about using Mikey's credit card, and even though he knew Mikey didn't want to hear why, he still told him.

He didn't want any secrets and he felt like that would have been a secret.

And as much as Mikey was uncomfortable, he told Gerard he forgave him and that he wasn't too upset about it.

He was rather upset about it though, he just didn't want Gerard to panic and relapse or anything.

"I think I'm gonna go for a walk." Gerard spoke after that. "I need some fresh air."

"W-Where are you going?" Mikey dared to ask, fearing he might try and hit the bars.

"Just for a walk, I promise, just need some time to myself, that's all."

"Okay..." Mikey spoke slowly, unsure if he should let Gerard leave or not. "Be safe."

"Mikey, please relax... I promise I'm not going to go do drugs or anything." 

The fact that Gerard brought that up himself helped a bit, because if he had been planning on doing that, he definitely wouldn't have brought up the possibility in fear of suspicion.

"Okay." Mikey nodded to himself. "Just be back soon, okay?"

"I will." Gerard smiled down at him, leaning down to give him a hug. "I promise."

He left then, hugging his jacket around his body as he walked out in the cold air.

It was refreshing though, he couldn't remember the last time fresh air didn't make him wanna puke.

Whenever he was drunk or high everything made him feel sick, including fresh air.

He wandered down the familiar streets, finding himself near that bar he used to vacate.

He didn't want to go to the bar, he just wondered about Bert, and how he was doing.

Bert had always been a good guy to him, and he hoped that Bert was doing well.

His curiosity ended up getting the best of him, and he walked towards said bar.

He decided he wasn't going to go inside, but if Bert was outside, he'd say hello and see how he was.

However as he neared the bar, he frowned when he realized no one was outside.

Oh well, he thought to himself, turning on his feet to head in the other direction- that is until he heard a quiet sound that made him stop.

It sounded like tortured groaning, and as he turned back around to investigate, he noticed someone lying on the ground near the side of the bar.

His stomach twisted nervously as he tried to see who it was, silently praying it wasn't Bert.

It was though, he realized, it was Bert curled up on the ground, groaning quietly as he held his stomach.

"Bert?" Gerard spoke softly, reaching down to touch his arm. "You okay?"

"Fuck-" Bert groaned, clutching his stomach more tightly. "Stomach hurts-"

"What did you take?" Gerard questioned nervously, hoping Bert wasn't overdosing right now. 

"Fuck- I dunno- some bad shit I think-" Bert was shaking slightly. "Thought it was Xanax."

Gerard panicked when he realized Bert probably took too many pills, his body language was showing signs of that, which meant he was overdosing.

"Bert-" Gerard spoke shakily, trying to pull the other up into a sitting position. "You need to throw up right now-"

"Can't-" Bert shook his head violently. "Hate puking-"

Gerard was panicking, he knew Bert needed to throw up before his body digested the pills anymore- if it wasn't too late that is.

So in desperate measures Gerard grabbed Bert's face, forcing his mouth open as he shoved his fingers down his throat.

Bert gagged instantly, trying to shove Gerard away as he dry heaved.

"Fuck you-" Bert gasped, looking up at Gerard then, and only realizing who he was as he did so. "G-Gerard?" 

"Bert, throw up-" Gerard urged, trying again. 

"Gee stop!" Bert begged, tears forming in his eyes. "It hurts-"

"You have to!" Gerard pleaded, tears filling his eyes. "You'll die if you don't-"

"Just let me die." Bert whispered, relaxing against Gerard's body then. "No ones gonna miss me."

"I will!" Gerard sobbed then, not willing to give up so easily, and once again forcing his fingers down Bert's throat.

He kept them back there then, despite Bert trying to bite him, and after several painful moments Gerard felt the bile cover his fingers.

It all came out then, and Gerard held onto Bert as he trembled violently.

"It's okay-" Gerard sobbed, rocking Bert against his chest. "It'll be okay-" 

Bert just cried and cried, but he did stop holding his stomach, which Gerard thought was a good sign. 

He eventually fell asleep in Gerard's arms, and Gerard panicked when he realized he didn't know what to do.

So he did what he usually did when he didn't know what to do, he called Frank.

Frank drove to him without even putting proper pants on, instead he left the house in his pjs.

Frank was nervous as fuck when he pulled into that bar, praying out loud that Gerard hadn't relapsed.

But when he found him on the ground with Bert, a new fear arose. 

Why was he with Bert?

"Frankie-" Gerard sobbed. "I- I was going for a walk and I saw him and I think he took too many pills-" 

Frank let out a breath and sat down next to them, trying to figure out what he should do.

"He threw up?" Gerard nodded quickly. "He should be fine then... do you know when he took the pills?" 

"No." Gerard sniffled. "Should we call an ambulance?" 

Frank bit his lip as he thought of what to do, and then he checked Bert's pulse, if it was weak then yes, they should get him to the hospital, but it wasn't weak, it was actually pretty strong.

"I think he threw them up in time." Frank spoke then, emitting a sigh of relief from Gerard. "He needs rest, do you know where he lives?" 

"No." Gerard mumbled, shaking his head slowly. "We never saw each other outside of here..."

"Fuck." Frank sighed, knowing his conscious, and well, Gerard, wouldn't let him leave Bert out in the cold. "Help me get him in the car."

Gerard nodded and wrapped his arms under Bert's while Frank grabbed his legs, gently putting him in the back seat.

"Thank you." Gerard sighed, going in for a kiss, when Frank pulled away.

"Baby... what were you doing here with him?"

Gerard only then realized how bad the scene really looked, and instantly began panicking.

"Frankie- I swear I was just going for a walk and I came by here and heard him and I swear nothing happened I-"

Frank silenced him then, because in the past when Gerard had panicked like this, he had ended up having told the truth, and seeing as Gerard didn't appear high or drunk, he forced himself to believe it.

He couldn't help that nervousness though, especially not after his ex cheated on him.

"It's okay." Frank whispered. "I believe you... I'm just sensitive to these things, please understand."

"I do, I do understand, Frankie, I promise." Gerard nodded, hugging Frank instead. "I wouldn't ever do that to you, I swear."

Frank allowed the kiss then, and just to be safe he deepened the kiss to see if there were any taste of alcohol in Gerard's mouth.

He sighed happily when there wasn't, and any doubt in his mind vanished as he and Gerard got into his car.

They went back to Frank's house because he had a guest room, Gerard didn't, and besides they didn't want to disturb Mikey with Bert.

Frank had called Mikey once they were at his house to tell him Gerard was over so he wouldn't worry, and then he helped Gerard put Bert in the guest room bed.

"I hope he's okay." Gerard whispered. "He's a nice guy... he's like me... before I got clean."

"He'll be fine." Frank assured, wrapping his arms around Gerard's waist. "He just needs rest."

"Promise?" Gerard mumbled, leaning against Frank's embrace. 

"I do." Frank nodded, kissing Gerard's cheek. "His heart rate seems normal, that's the best sign."

"Okay." Gerard swallowed hard. "We just wait, then?"

"We just wait."

-

Gerard didn't want to leave Bert's side, so he and Frank ended up falling asleep on a small chair in the room, Frank in Gerard's lap.

Bert woke up before they did, and Frank startled awake as the other poked his arm.

"E-Excuse me?" Bert stuttered out, looking petrified. "W-Who are you?" 

"Bert-" Gerard gasped awake then, his tired eyes wide as he gazed at the man he was pretty sure died last night. "It's Gerard."

"Gerard-" He relaxed then, breathing heavily as the fear left him breathless. "How did I get in your house?"

Gerard got up from the chair then and sat at the edge of the guest room bed with Bert, trying to explain the situation as sensitively as possible.

Bert hugged him after everything became clear to him.

"Thank you-" He whimpered, tears brimming his eyes. "I would have died without you-"

"Bert..." Gerard whispered, pulling away so he could look him in the eyes. "Y-You should really consider not doing that anymore..."

"B-But it's all I know-" Bert swallowed hard, knowing Gerard was right, but not wanting to acknowledge it. "I don't think I can-"

"You can." Gerard insisted. "I did... Bert, it's hell, but you can do it, you just need help..."

"Fuck." Was all Bert said, his gaze into his lap. "I- I know you're right... but I don't want to, Gerard, I don't-"

"I don't want you to die." Gerard whimpered, genuine pain filling his body. "You are a great guy, Bert, and I want to be your friend, but if you keep this up, that won't happen..."

Bert looked up at him helplessly then, trying to find the sincerity in his eyes, and luckily finding it.

"W-What do I do?" Bert spoke shakily, knowing he was going to regret agreeing to this.

"M-Maybe rehab?" Gerard suggested, hoping that didn't set him off like he knew it would have him if the roles were switched. "It could help..."

"I don't even know how to go about that-" Bert whimpered again, and that's when Frank spoke for the first time.

"I could help you." He offered. "I'll help you sign up, and find the perfect place for you."

Bert stared at him for a while, not sure what he should say, but after much debate he finally had his answer.

"Okay."

-

They didn't waste any time looking into rehabs, knowing Bert could change his mind at any second and wanting to get him in there as soon as possible.

Luckily Bert was still on his parent's medical insurance, and that would cover the cost of the rehab.

Everything was very fast in that process actually, and it was only the next day he was checking in.

They had visited the place beforehand of course, where a dark secret came to light from Bert.

It was when he was talking to one of the workers there as they filled out his paperwork, they had asked what he was checking into rehab for, and he confessed he had started using heroin.

Gerard's heart broke as he heard that, he didn't want to think of his friend suffering from that; luckily it was so recent that it wouldn't have any long term effects on him, and even though it would still be extremely hard to kick, it was possible.

Gerard was livid when he found out the reason Bert started heroin was the same reason he almost had; that guy approached him when he was broke, offering him something better for free, only Bert wasn't lucky enough to have someone like Frank save him.

Gerard wanted that guy dead, or arrested at least, who knew how many lives he was ruining by doing that, and of course the story just got worse as it went on.

Bert didn't mention it at the rehab center, it wasn't necessary for his enrollment, and honestly he was a bit embarrassed.

Bert was broke, and Gerard found them to have even more in common when he confessed he let the man fuck him for more drugs.

Gerard had done that with Frank obviously, but once again Frank turned out to be a million times better than that drug dealer was, and once again, Gerard felt his heart break painfully.

Bert wasn't bothered by it, he didn't care that he had used himself for drugs, but deep down there was something hurting, whether it be the fact that he did it, or the fact that he felt like he had to.

"You don't have to do that ever again." Gerard whispered. "Even if you say you don't care... I know it hurts, and I hope you find comfort knowing you're going to get better."

"Maybe someday I will." Bert shrugged weakly. "I want to believe you, but you must understand that's hard."

"I do understand." Gerard nodded. "But I also understand that it's possible, and I know you can do it."

"Thank you, Gerard." Bert sighed. "Will you come visit me?"

"Of course." He smiled. "And Frank too."

Bert nodded idly to himself before he started to pack his things, and then what felt like a blink of an eye Gerard and Frank were leaving him at the rehab.


	10. The End

When Gerard reached two months sober, Frank decided he wanted to do something special.

He loved Gerard, of course, but he knew their relationship didn't start out the best way, and he wanted a bit of a redo, if that makes sense.

Basically, Frank wanted to take Gerard out on a proper date, treat him like a king, and then come home and give him a more proper 'first time'.

Obviously it was not their first time, no where near it, but he wanted to pretend, just for the night.

Gerard didn't know any of this of course, Frank wanted it all to be a surprise for him.

Gerard didn't even know it was the two month mark of being sober, after the first month he didn't want to keep track anymore in fear that if he knew how long he had gone, he'd think he deserved a break from it.

There was also something else Frank had planned... he wasn't crazy, he knew they hadn't been together long, but he had made a promise to Gerard in the way beginning, and he wanted to prove to him that the promise still and forever would, stand.

He bought him a promise ring.

The idea of it was to give something to Gerard so he'd know he was never alone, and that any time he felt like relapsing, Frank was going to be standing by his side no matter what.

Frank had actually started planning the ring at about their one month anniversary. 

Gerard was doing so good, and Frank wanted him to know that.

He only waited until the two month because well, he wanted the ring to be perfect, and that took several days and even weeks adjusting it.

But it was finally ready, and he had the restaurant reservations ready, and everything was going to be perfect.

-

"I don't want to get coffee here." Gerard whined, eyeing his old work stubbornly. 

"We won't go in, baby, but their coffee is really fucking good so we're stopping."

Gerard didn't respond, he just sighed and looked out his window, ignoring everything as Frank ordered his coffee.

However, once they reached the window, he was forced back into reality.

"Gerard?" A vaguely familiar voice caught his attention, and he nervously glanced at the window.

It was that girl who covered for his boss that one day, the very nice one.

"Hello." Gerard mumbled.

"I've been trying to get a hold of you! We must not have your correct number, do you have a minute to come in?"

"Is jackass in there?" 

"No." She giggled then. "Please, I'll make it worth your time, I promise."

Gerard looked at Frank nervously, but Frank was too curious to find out what she had to say, and agreed on Gerard's behave.

Gerard didn't argue, he was kinda curious too, and deep down he was thankful Frank made the decision for him.

When they entered the coffee shop the girl was busy with drive thru customers, but after the other employee clocked on a few minutes later she was able to come out and sit with them.

"Your hair looks nice." She smiled at Gerard, who blushed softly at the compliment. "Mr. Jackass has been fired."

"What?" Gerard raised an eyebrow at her. "Why?"

"It turns out, he was underpaying employees and keeping the money for himself, and is also accused of stealing merchandise." 

"Lazy and a thief, how fitting." Gerard muttered to himself. "Anyways, what's that got to do with me?"

"Well, for starters, Gerard, you were severely underpaid, the company wants to reimburse you for that to avoid any lawsuits."

"Wait, seriously?" Gerard suddenly perked up, glancing between her and Frank. "They're gonna give me money? How much?"

"I don't know the exact amount, but it's pretty hefty considering the hours you used to work... I'd guess at least a thousand or so."

"Holy shit!" Gerard gasped, grabbing Frank's hand. "Baby, you hear that? Oh my god, I can finally pay Mikey back, and make things right-"

"That's not all." Lindsey added, not wanting Gerard to get ahead of himself. "I'm the manager at this location now, and we're down a crew member...I was very impressed with your work when I covered here, and if you're interested, I'd like to give you your job back."

Gerard couldn't believe what he was hearing, besides Frank being by his side, these past two months had been literal hell.

Everything hurt, he became aware of how badly he screwed Mikey over, and how he was pretty much just freeloading- but things were finally looking up.

He'd be able to pay Mikey back, because as awkward as it was, Mikey did find out about him using his emergency credit card.

And he'd have a job...

Not having a job really made him useless, even though everyone assured him it was fine and he should focus on getting healthy.

"W-Would I um, have to do morning shifts?" Gerard questioned a few moments later, because as much as he wanted a job back, those morning shifts killed him.

"Actually, no, we have someone who strictly does mornings only, so you'd have a choice between afternoon or closing."

"Seriously?" He breathed out, truly starting to believe this was a dream. 

Did this morning really happen? Did Frank wake him up with French Toast? Did they share a shower before running errands?

"I told you things would get better." Frank whispered, squeezing Gerard's hand tightly. "I told you..."

"Oh god." Gerard blinked furiously, tears forming in his eyes. "I'm so sorry- I can't believe I'm tearing up over this, I just- I really needed this right now."

"I understand." She smiled sweetly at the two. "I don't know what was going on in your life beforehand, but I have to say you're looking so much better than when I saw you -no offense- but seriously, whatever you changed in your life, good job."

He just cried then, he let the tears fall as he leaned against Frank's side, feeling overjoyed and extremely proud of himself.

"Thank you." He sniffled, wiping at his eyes. "I would love to work here again... if you're my manager, of course."

"Then welcome back!" She grinned excitedly, holding out her hand for him to shake. "I'll get your contact info and call you about scheduling at a later date after the paper work is filed in the system."

Frank ended up filling out the paperwork for Gerard, Gerard was too busy trying to calm himself down from the tears constantly trying to form.

He just couldn't believe it.

Good things never happened to him, ever, even before the drugs, and now they were and it didn't seem real.

"Thank you." He repeated before they left, sending a weak wave her way. "I'll see you soon."

-

Mikey was thrilled about this information, and not for the reason Gerard had expected.

Yes, Mikey was going to get his money back now, but that isn't why he was thrilled.

He was thrilled because Gerard was making even more progress, and he was thrilled his brother was doing so good, after being so bad.

Even Mikey teared up when Gerard told him about it, and they embraced and held each other while crying softly.

The what seemed impossible, was happening, and it was so overwhelming to the two.

It was overwhelming for Frank too, he wouldn't take the credit for it of course, but he knew he had a big part in Gerard's recovery, and he was just so happy he was able to do that.

He remembered the dread he felt when he would see Mikey and Gerard interact, and now that dread had turned to joy, and nothing could compare to that feeling.

Frank also couldn't help but feel like everything was falling into place on the perfect day, the day he was going to give Gerard the ring.

It just made him more confident in his decision to do it, not that he was unsure at all, but it assured him this was the perfect time for it.

Mikey had to go to work after their conversation, so Frank and Gerard took that time to get ready for their date.

"Do we really have to wear ties?" Gerard mumbled as he searched through his clothes. "Ties are for expensive places, and I don't want you wasting your money on me."

"Well, the reservations are already booked." Frank laughed, wrapping his arms around Gerard. "So too bad, baby."

"Fine." Gerard sighed in defeat, relaxing against Frank's embrace. "But once I get on my feet some more, I'm taking you somewhere even fancier, like, full on suits fancy."

"Whatever you say, baby." Frank grinned, kissing Gerard's cheek. "Now get that handsome ass in some dress pants, we've gotta go."

-

Gerard felt out of place in the restaurant, but for once, he didn't feel ashamed to be there.

Sure he felt like everyone in the building was way more important than him, but that didn't matter, because he felt like he was getting to the level of importance as well.

It was also extremely romantic, and the butterflies in Gerard's stomach almost prevented him from ordering food, in fears he'd just get sick.

"You look so handsome." Frank whispered, grabbing Gerard's hand over the table. 

"T-Thank you." Gerard stuttered out, the blush deep on his cheeks. "You don't clean up too badly yourself..."

Frank grinned and took a drink of his water, having chosen that beverage over the wine offered to them.

"You remember, when you first decided to get clean... I told you I would stand by your stand through it all, I promised."

"Yeah..." Gerard nodded to himself. "And you did."

"And now... I want to promise you something else, Gerard." He paused, pulling the ring from his pocket, but keeping it out of Gerard's sight for now. "Do you know what a promise ring is?"

"Not really..." Gerard bit his lip, unsure of where this was leading to. 

"You don't need to be nervous." Frank smiled sweetly at him, noticing his uneasiness. "A promise ring is a symbol of a promise, to remind you of that promise..."

Gerard just nodded, still not realizing where this was going.

"Anyways... I promised to stand by your side while you got clean, and now, Gee, I wanna promise to stand by your side forever... forever and always."

Gerard blushed then, a shy smile breaking out onto his lips as goosebumps covered his neck.

"Forever is a long time, Frankie." He whispered. 

"It is." Frank smiled at him. "A long time I wouldn't want to spend with anyone other than you."

Gerard felt light headed with all the butterflies fluttering around inside him, and before he could help himself, he was leaning over the table to kiss Frank.

"Does that mean you'd want to spend forever with me too?" Frank grinned, fiddling with the ring under the table.

"Of course I would." Gerard blushed violently again, his bottom lip caught between his teeth as he stared at Frank. "You make me so happy."

"Will you wear this ring then?" Frank beamed, revealing the ring to Gerard, who in return gasped.

"Frankie-" He covered his mouth. "I-It's beautiful..." he stuttered out, his hand falling over his heart. 

"Well it had to be if someone like you was going to wear it..." Frank winked, reaching for Gerard's hand, which he shakily allowed.

Everything felt right as Frank slid that ring onto Gerard's finger, and everything felt right as Gerard practically spilled their drinks leaning over the table to kiss him.

"I love you so much." Gerard mumbled as he pulled away, his gaze locked on the ring that sparkled around his finger. "I'm never taking this off, ever."

Frank just watched with the biggest smile as Gerard gawked over the ring, feeling proud that he had managed to create something that took Gerard's breath away. 

"I don't have anything for you..." Gerard eventually mumbled, looking into his lap. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, baby." Frank grinned, squeezing Gerard's hand. "You weren't meant to get me anything anyways."

"I'll make it up to you." Gerard smiled shyly then. "When we get home..."

Frank just smiled and sipped at his drink again, Gerard had no clue.

-

When they finished their meal and returned to Frank's house, Frank made Gerard sit on the couch while he rushed off into the room.

Gerard tried to object of course, in fact he had tried to start fooling around in the car before they even got home.

Sex was natural to him at this point, and he wanted to do it as much as possible.

That wasn't going to deter Frank from his original plan though, no, he was going to light some scented candles, and then he was going to make love to Gerard the way Gerard deserved.

After only a few moments Frank returned to the living room, a slight blush to his cheeks as he held out his hand to Gerard.

Gerard didn't think anything of it as Frank pulled him into the room, but as soon as he caught sight of the candles, his heart fluttered violently in his chest.

"W-what are those for?" 

"I'm going to make you feel so good..." Frank whispered, his lips landing on Gerard's gently as he pushed him towards the bed.

Gerard fell back onto the bed, pulling Frank on top of him as their lips never separated. 

"F-Frank, this is- wow-" Gerard stuttered out as Frank leaned down to kiss at his neck. "It's so romantic." He whispered, his fingers gently tangling in Frank's hair.

Frank grinned against Gerard's skin, his teeth coming out against it softly, making Gerard shiver violently.

"That's what I was going for." He pulled away then, straddling Gerard's hips. "Take off your shirt, baby." 

"Why are you doing this?" Gerard questioned softly as he pulled off his shirt and tie. "You know I don't mind rough and fast..."

"Because you deserve slow and gentle, and fuck, Gee, I wanna make love to you."

Goosebumps rose onto Gerard's skin as those words registered in his brain; when he was younger he always imagined sex to be something gentle and intimate, which is why he never had sex with anyone.

He wanted it to be special, and full of love, but unfortunately for him the drugs clouded his judgement on that.

He didn't regret sleeping with Frank, not at all, in fact after it happened he realized all he had been missing out on.

But the fact that Frank wanted both for him made his heart twist in a way he couldn't describe.

So instead of responding verbally, he just leaned up and pulled Frank in for a kiss, groaning softly into it as Frank rolled his hips in Gerard's lap.

"I love you." Gerard breathed out as he blindly unbuttoned Frank's shirt. "So much."

"I love you too-" Frank grinned, shrugging off his shirt and tie. "Now relax against the bed, baby..."

Gerard nodded slowly and leaned back down on the bed, biting his lip as Frank's hands landed on his stomach, slowly gliding up over his skin until he was hovering over Gerard again.

They kissed for a long time then, their lips locked together as Gerard ran his fingers through Frank's hair, letting out the occasional moan as Frank's hips moved against his own.

When Frank lowered his mouth to Gerard's collarbone he caught onto what Frank's next move was, and he hardened in his pants as Frank slowly kissed down his body.

"Oh god-" Gerard whimpered as Frank covered one of his nipples with his mouth, his tongue swirling around the bud before he sucked on in gently. 

Frank hummed against the skin before continuing downward, his teeth grazing along Gerard's ribs, causing him to shiver violently.

Everything felt so heightened when they went slow like this, and Gerard swore his head was spinning as he felt Frank's tongue slowly drag from his bellybutton down to his pants.

His erection was pressing stubbornly against Frank's throat at this point, and the gasp of relief he let out when Frank tugged down his pants was much more arousing than it should have been.

"Mmm, baby." Frank breathed out against the tip, the hot air causing Gerard to tremble. 

"Shit-" Gerard swallowed hard as Frank grabbed him by the base, Frank's tongue slowly swirling around the tip before sucking it into his mouth. "Fuck."

Frank hummed as he worked the tip with his mouth, the bitter taste of precum filling his senses when Gerard tugged desperately on his hair.

That's when he sank down even further, taking his time as he gained every inch, making sure his tongue worked each inch perfectly.

Gerard whined and arched his back off the bed as Frank eventually deep throated him, the sensation of Frank swallowing around him causing the sounds to leave against his will.

Frank just continued to hum when he could, his head slowly picking up before sinking back down, letting Gerard slip into the back of his throat each time.

"Frank-" Gerard gasped, his hands now clutching at the blanket on Frank's bed. "Oh god-"

Frank continued until he knew Gerard couldn't take it anymore, and as he felt Gerard swell against his tongue, he pulled away.

"Fuck." Gerard panted then, catching his breath as he calmed down a bit. 

Usually it took longer than that to get Gerard going, but with as much effort and detail Frank was using with his tongue, Gerard just couldn't handle it.

Fast and sloppy was good he learned, but he was starting to realize slow and thorough might be even better.

"Let's get out of our clothes." Frank licked his lips, pulling away so the two could kick off their pants. "That's better." He groaned as he stroked himself lazily, giving himself some much needed attention before leaning back down to kiss Gerard.

At this point the aroma from the candles was very heavy in the room, and Gerard felt completely relaxed as Frank reached over and grabbed some lube.

"The candles smell so pretty." He mumbled, his brain feeling fuzzy. "And you look so pretty."

"All for you." Frank smiled, kissing Gerard once more before settling between his legs.

"You're gonna finger me?" Gerard bit his lip as he watched Frank cover three of his fingers with the lube.

At this point in time Gerard didn't need prepping, so they usually skipped it, but Frank knew how much Gerard liked it, and was planning on giving him everything he could tonight.

"Oh yeah." Frank smirked, gently nudging Gerard's entrance with two of them. "I told you I'd make you feel so good..."

"Shit." Gerard breathed out, relaxing his head against the pillows. "Please-"

Frank's smirk tugged higher as he pushed in his two fingers, basking in the way Gerard instantly whimpered.

It was so hot how Gerard's legs spread on instinct, his hips lifting to push Frank even deeper inside of him.

"So good, baby, so good." Frank whispered as he massaged Gerard's inner walls, purposely avoiding his prostate until he was wound up enough. 

"Please, Frankie." Gerard begged, attempting to angle his hips correctly. "Please, please, please..."

Frank couldn't deny him of it then, and gently pushed up against it, shivering at the moan that left Gerard's lips.

Frank kissed at the inside of Gerard's thighs, his teeth nipping at it softly each time Gerard would let out a quiet moan.

"Oh my god." Gerard whimpered, his fingers twisted in the blankets. "Frankie, fuck-"

He was leaking heavily against his stomach by this point, and the sight made Frank growl in the back of his throat, his fingers pushing in more roughly as he added the third one.

"Fuck!" Gerard's back arched off the bed, his hips rolling desperately against Frank's hand. "Frankie, fuck me, please-"

This was about Gerard, so Frank really had no issue in obliging; so he pulled out his fingers, wiping them on the blanket before grabbing the lube once more.

Gerard felt so fucking good- Frank wasn't even touching him anymore and yet, he felt as if he was.

It was so weird to him, but it had him humming quietly to himself as Frank eventually pushed up against him.

"Baby," Frank whispered when he noticed Gerard spacing out. "Come back."

"Sorry." Gerard giggled, wrapping his arms around Frank's neck. "Please continue."

Frank smiled and leaned down to kiss Gerard, keeping their lips together as he slowly pushed in.

A gasp from Gerard is what broke the kiss, but Frank wouldn't have that, and quickly closed the gap between them once more.

Gerard's legs wrapped around Frank's waist instinctively, his hips gently rocking forward as Frank started a slow pace.

Gerard keened and threw his head back as Frank hit that spot inside of him, his breathing shaky as Frank leaned down to kiss at his wind pipe instead.

"Feels so good-" Gerard panted, his fingernails digging into Frank's back. "Oh god- faster, please."

That same growl vibrated deep in Frank's throat as his pace picked up, and instead of assaulting Gerard's neck like he had been, he instead lifted his head so he could gaze down at his beautiful boyfriend.

Gerard was looking up at Frank like he was his entire world -which essentially, he was- and the look was too overwhelming for Frank, so he distracted himself by kissing the other.

The kiss was messy and full of teeth and muffled moans, but neither of them cared, it was the perfect kiss for them.

"Shit, baby-" Frank groaned as Gerard's hands slid down his back, and over his ass. 

Frank loved feelings Gerard's hands there, it was like they were trying to pull him down with even more force, and the thought of Gerard being so desperate for him drove him crazy.

"Yes-" Gerard gasped, his fingernails digging into Frank's cheeks. "Yes yes fuck-" 

Frank couldn't help himself then, his movements became more rough, and the bed banged against the wall as Gerard cried out loudly. 

Eventually Gerard's arms wrapped around Frank's torso, holding his upper body as close as possible as he nuzzled his face into Frank's neck, his breath tickling the skin.

Gerard was whining and whimpering as Frank slipped an arm under him, angling his body up so each time Frank pushed in, their stomachs rubbed against Gerard's dick.

"I'm gonna come- oh please-" Gerard gasped, his hips bucking forward violently. "F-Frank-"

Gerard's teeth latched onto Frank's neck as he came, his fingernails dragging across Frank's back as Frank fucked him through his release.

Gerard held onto Frank like that until he came as well, and within minutes they were both a panting mess laying next to each other.

"Wow-" Gerard breathed out, rolling onto his side to gaze at Frank. "Can I confess something?"

"Of course, baby." Frank panted, turning his head to the side. "What is it?"

"I feel like..." Gerard mumbled, patting at his chest. "I feel like my heart came too."

Frank burst into a fit of laughter then, his arm wrapping around Gerard's waist and pulling him against his body.

"I'm glad, love." He kissed him then. "That's kinda what I was going for."

"So that's what it's suppose to be like?" Gerard mumbled quietly, his cheeks turning pink. "Making love?"

"It is." Frank nodded, rubbing Gerard's side. "And I'm so sorry the first time wasn't like that..."

Gerard was silent for a while, and Frank worried he may have upset him.

"I'm not." He finally spoke, shocking Frank. "If it was that way the first time... we probably wouldn't have what we have right now."

"So you're not upset about it?"

"I was." Gerard answered truthfully, biting his lip. "But not anymore... especially if you promise me we can do that again sometime..."

Frank grinned and leaned over to kiss him, kissing him long and passionately before the two were forced to pull away by the need of air.

"We can do that anytime you want." Frank smiled then, his gaze falling to Gerard's hand, which wore the ring. "Forever and always..."

Gerard knew Frank meant more than he was speaking out loud, but they both knew he didn't need to speak the words anymore.

Gerard knew Frank would always be there for him, in any way he needed or desired, and for once in Gerard's life, he wasn't scared of the future.

Frank was going to be by his side, and that fact alone made him confident that he could walk through hell and survive, as long as he had Frank.

"Forever and always."


End file.
